Coming in July
Less than six months to go to the 13th Annual Wife Carrying World Championships.
"Every gross brained idiot is suffered to come into print." ~ Thomas Nash (1592)
"The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."
"Impossible to transcend."
Albert A. Gore, Jr.:"An incontinent brute."
Rev. Jeremiah Wright:"God damn the Gentleman Farmer."
Friends of GF's Sons:"Is that really your dad?"
Kickball Girl:"Keeping 'em alive until 7:45."
Hired Hand:"I think . . . we forgot the pheasant."
Labels: Tech In
Labels: The Real World
Imagine having a wife who is always glad to see you, never cheats or stays out all night, and who rocks your ever-loving world twice a month with a pent-up vengeance you haven't felt since college. Now imagine she never takes your credit cards, doesn't spend all day talking to her mother, and never knows if you're out with friends or sleeping around.There are church socials, college mixers, frat parties, singles bars, on-line dating, and now there's this:
ConjugalHarmony.com is the oldest, most trusted name in conjugal dating. Since our humble beginnings in 1999 in a small, single room office in Englewood, California, to today, with a staff of more than twenty and offices in every state that permits conjugal visits. Our name is not just what we do, but it's who we are.We will leave it to our dedicated band of online researchers to ferret out whether this is a joke or not.
Whether you're in California, Connecticut, Mississippi, New Mexico, New York or Washington State, we can find just the right inmate for just the right marriage for just the amount of time you're willing to dedicate.
With Conjugal Harmony, we take out the guess work. You don't have to hire a private detective to know where your spouse is, who they're hanging out with, or ever wonder if you're being cheated on. By marrying a convict inside the prison system you can rest easy knowing that the state is looking out for you, and that you will be free of the nagging, shopping trips and extra-marital oversight so stifling to your relationship.And this novel structure may be viewed not as a stumbling block, but as an opportunity:
All states within the country have laws prohibiting polygamy, but there is not a national registry that tracks such things. In theory, one could have an incarcerated spouse in all six of the states that permit conjugal visits, as well as one or more additional spouses who are not in the prison system. Such behavior would be highly unethical, moderately illegal, and recommended only to interstate truckers, airline staff, and those who have the ability to fully reap the benefits of such an arrangement. While we can not endorse such behavior, we would not be aware of it unless you told us it was the case, and we'd have to recommend you only select one of our Lifer packages in order to insure that none of them would be released unexpectedly.You can even browse their lineup of potential spouses. "ChestyHeavens", for example, had me at "beat up":
I beat up this bitch cop with my bare knuckles and she died so I'm done for life. Lets chat!You'll not want to miss ConjugalHarmony.com.
Labels: Tech In
Labels: Popular Culture
Dr. King's dream began to be realized when President Lyndon Johnson passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. ... It took a president to get it done. — Hillary Clinton, Jan. 7
So she said. And then a fight broke out. That remarkable eruption of racial sensitivities and racial charges lacked coherence, however, because the public argument was about history rather than what was truly offensive — the implied analogy to today.
Forty years ago, that arrangement — white president enacting African-American dreams — was necessary because discrimination denied blacks their own autonomous political options. Today, that arrangement — white liberals acting as tribune for blacks in return for their political loyalty — is a demeaning anachronism. That's what the fury at Hillary was all about, although no one was willing to say so explicitly.
The King-Johnson analogy is dead because the times are radically different. Today an African-American can be in a position to wield the emancipation pen — and everything else that goes along with the presidency: from making foreign policy to renting out the Lincoln Bedroom (if one is so inclined). Why should African-American dreams still have to go through white liberals?
Labels: Hillary Watch
Town by town across the country, headlines have been telling similar stories. Lakewood, Wash.: “Family Blames Iraq After Son Kills Wife.” Pierre, S.D.: “Soldier Charged With Murder Testifies About Postwar Stress.” Colorado Springs: “Iraq War Vets Suspected in Two Slayings, Crime Ring.”The Times, you see, has uncovered a previously unknown fact -- veterans (unlike the rest of us) sometimes commit crimes, or engage in other dangerous behavior. Perhaps after this series, we will be favored with further revelatory tales documenting tax evasion, salad bar grazing, double parking and elevator flatulence.
Individually, these are stories of local crimes, gut-wrenching postscripts to the war for the military men, their victims and their communities. Taken together, they paint the patchwork picture of a quiet phenomenon, tracing a cross-country trail of death and heartbreak.
The New York Times found 121 cases in which veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan committed a killing in this country, or were charged with one, after their return from war. In many of those cases, combat trauma and the stress of deployment — along with alcohol abuse, family discord and other attendant problems — appear to have set the stage for a tragedy that was part destruction, part self-destruction.
Three-quarters of these veterans were still in the military at the time of the killing. More than half the killings involved guns, and the rest were stabbings, beatings, strangulations and bathtub drownings. Twenty-five offenders faced murder, manslaughter or homicide charges for fatal car crashes resulting from drunken, reckless or suicidal driving.
Britney Spears has told family and friends she intends to marry her paparazzo lover Adnan Ghalib in a Scientology marriage ceremony.Oh, WAIT.
The troubled singer, 26, phoned an aide with the news from a beach in Mexico, where she fled by private jet with Ghalib, 35, last week.
She is due to appear before a Los Angeles court tomorrow for the continuing battle over custody of her children.
Labels: The Real World
NORFOLK, Jan. 11 -- Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson is considering making an offer for the Virginian-Pilot, a daily newspaper he has criticized for its coverage of him.
Two Washington area banks turned over more than $850,000 in less than 24 hours this week to someone who impersonated a cash courier and claimed to be filling in for the regular guys.It seems to us that any description of "the security protocols that cash couriers" followed in this instance would not consume a very great amount of time.
On Wednesday, a man dressed as an armored truck employee with the company AT Systems walked into a BB&T bank in Wheaton about 11 a.m., was handed more than $500,000 in cash and walked out, a source familiar with the case said.
It wasn't until the actual AT Systems employees arrived at the bank, at 11501 Georgia Ave., the next day that bank officials realized they'd been had. "When the real security guards showed up is when it became known," said Richard Wolf, a spokesman with the FBI's Baltimore division.
Montgomery County police spokeswoman Lucille Baur said: "The bank employees knew this was not an individual they had dealt with before. The explanation that was provided was that he was a substitute for the regular courier, who was on leave."
And on Thursday, about 9:30 a.m., a man dressed as an employee of the security company Brink's walked into a Wachovia branch in downtown Washington and walked out with more than $350,000.
The man had a badge and a gun holster on his belt, said Debbie Weierman, a spokeswoman for the FBI's Washington field office. He told officials at the bank, at 801 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, that he was filling in for the regular courier.
About 4 p.m., when the real guard showed up, a bank official told him that someone had picked up the cash, D.C. police said. The guard returned to his office and told a supervisor that he did not make the pickup at the bank. The supervisor called a Wachovia manager, who in turn notified authorities. Police were called nearly 11 hours after the heist.
"It's just an incredibly brazen act," Weierman said.
A law enforcement source, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation is continuing, said last night that investigators were reviewing surveillance video from the banks in an effort to identify the robber and determine whether the same man committed both heists.
Officials at each bank and with law enforcement declined to describe the security protocols that cash couriers follow. Authorities are investigating whether any rules were violated.
Labels: Hillary Watch
And Hillary is ahead of Obama? By four points? I’m telling you, you’ve got to run a steak through the heart, separate the head from the body, burn the remains and scatter the ashes in heavy winds if you want to put a Clinton down for good.And, just for the record, I think he means a "steak."
Labels: Hillary Watch
Labels: The Real World
I’d like to wish you a happy New Year, but I’m afraid I have a different sort of prediction.
You’re in for very bad weather. In 2008, your television will bring you image after frightening image of natural havoc linked to global warming. You will be told that such bizarre weather must be a sign of dangerous climate change — and that these images are a mere preview of what’s in store unless we act quickly to cool the planet.
Unfortunately, I can’t be more specific. I don’t know if disaster will come by flood or drought, hurricane or blizzard, fire or ice. Nor do I have any idea how much the planet will warm this year or what that means for your local forecast. Long-term climate models cannot explain short-term weather.
But there’s bound to be some weird weather somewhere, and we will react like the sailors in the Book of Jonah. When a storm hit their ship, they didn’t ascribe it to a seasonal weather pattern. They quickly identified the cause (Jonah’s sinfulness) and agreed to an appropriate policy response (throw Jonah overboard).
Today’s interpreters of the weather are what social scientists call availability entrepreneurs: the activists, journalists and publicity-savvy scientists who selectively monitor the globe looking for newsworthy evidence of a new form of sinfulness, burning fossil fuels.
A year ago, British meteorologists made headlines predicting that the buildup of greenhouse gases would help make 2007 the hottest year on record. At year’s end, even though the British scientists reported the global temperature average was not a new record — it was actually lower than any year since 2001 — the BBC confidently proclaimed, “2007 Data Confirms Warming Trend.”