Buy Gold

What happens if you send a trillion dollars or so chasing after reasonably-priced assets?

OOPS:

The analysis of this paper suggests that recent credit market prices are actually highly consistent with fundamentals. A structural framework confirms that bonds and credit derivatives should have experienced a significant repricing in 2008 as the economic outlook darkened and volatility increased. The analysis also confirms that severe mispricing existed in the structured credit tranches prior to the crisis and that a large part of the dramatic rise in spreads has been the elimination of this mispricing.

Big Tent Anglicanism

Hey, That's No Way to Say Goodbye

Caturday Morning

Been There. Done That.

Really?

We're Tempted

We're VERY tempted. And it's NOT a joke.

The President We Deserve

Mark Steyn: "So let me see if I understand American protocol in the age of Obama: The First Lady hugs Queen Elizabeth as if she's some granny at a seniors' center photo-op, but the President of this republic prostrates himself before King Abdullah as if he's a subject of the Saudi pseudo-Crown."

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Inevitable

A Facebook Haggadah.

All The News . . . .

Tsk, tsk.

Not to Worry

The Country's in the Very Best of Hands!

NOT a Parody

From today's Christian Science Monitor, "10 terms not to use with Muslims." Included on the list: Secular, Reformation, Moderate, Interfaith, Freedom, Religious Freedom, and Tolerance.

Well.

Canary in the Coal Mine

A jack-booted, goose-stepping fascist guides the slavering Mogen David to devour the widow and the orphan. By Pat Oliphant:

Called "the most influential cartoonist now working" by The New York Times, Pat Oliphant occupies a unique position among today’s editorial cartoonists: Widely considered the dean of the profession, he is one of its sharpest, most daring practitioners.

Oliphant works under the auspices of the New York Times. This was published Wednesday, in the Washington Post. (On which website it is oddly not currently available.)

When casual antisemitism goes mainstream, it's time to clean your gun.

Have an economic crisis? Perhaps it's the hook-nosed Jew bankers (again):

We know Congresswoman Waters is a psychotic, but that's not really the point. She was neither admonished nor questioned by her committee chairman: "Ms. Waters, could the Chair inquire as to why your questions relate only to Goldman Sachs, and not also to JPMorgan-Chase, Bank of America, or Wells Fargo?" Despicable.

Cassandra's curse was not the prophetic gift (itself a sufficient burden), but that her accurate prophecies would not be believed, and the future ruin she saw could not be forestalled.

We've seen this movie before, and we know where this plot line takes us. "Unfruitful" from the July, 1936, issue of Der Stürmer:

The caption reads: "She belongs to the church, she belongs to Satan. Both are lost to the German race." Moral debauchery and Catholicism are one from the State's point of view.

But that couldn't happen here.

Who Are Those Four Guys on Horses?

Just kill me now. Wallypop Family Wipes.

Uh Oh

Dissent is the Highest Form of Patriotism

Get your own from the Tennessee Republicans.

Most Kids Are Going to Turn Into Mutants Themselves

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing
Children For The Apocalypse?

When in Doubt . . . Send a Jesuit

"Then it happened that as Jesus was reclining at the table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were dining with Jesus and His disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, 'Why is your Teacher eating with the tax collectors and sinners?'

But when Jesus heard this, He said, 'It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: I desire compassion, and not sacrifice, for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'"

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Turning to Religion - Jim Martin

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Funny Political News

Christian Bale Parody
Joke of the Day

Corporate Oversight

Offense Offensive

Having offended black people, or chimps, or Nancy Pelosi, or Al Sharpton or some damn thing earlier this week (find it yourself, it's only a few posts down), the G&S Ombudsman observed that it's been some time since we offended crazed Islamist nutjobs.

Offending ridiculous crazy people is becoming a full-time job. Parody has become policy. What do you do if your kid screws around with fireworks, and burns himself? Simple: Give him a can of gasoline, a blowtorch, and a butane lighter. "That's crazy," right? Nahhhh. That's national policy. Being a jackass, you borrowed far more money that you can repay? No problem, we'll give you more.

But I digress, as our purpose is not to make fun of the current administration, but instead to piss off . . . . wait . . . I wrote it down . . . oh yes, crazed Islamist nutjobs. A task we've subcontracted.

Herewith, Steven Crowder:

What's Wrong With This Picture?

There's a criminal shown in this clip. See if you can pick him out:

Give up? More HERE.

Oh the Humanity!

As regular readers know, our editorial staff works long hours, and takes great pains, in order to offend as often as possible. Herewith, then, an editorial cartoon described as follows by the Associated Press:

This cartoon image provided by the New York Post appeared in the Post's Page Six Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2009. The cartoon, which refers to Travis the chimp, who was shot to death by police in Stamford, Conn. on Monday after it mauled a friend of its owner, drew criticism Wednesday on media Web sites and from civil rights activist the Rev. Al Sharpton.

That's good enough for us.

Hard Times (Personal Stories)

"The businessman was going to lay off four of his five mistresses due to financial troubles," the paper said. "The women were allowed to vie for the remaining position by competing on their looks, their singing and speaking and their ability to drink alcohol."

Story HERE.

Frankie Valli

. . . and The Four Seasons (1967):

. . . and The Sopranos (2005) ("Rusty"):

A Meal to Die For

h/t to Uncle Michael

"No Real Cat Was Harmed in the Making of This Video"

It's 8 degrees this morning in Bismarck (-3 with the wind-chill). By mid-week, the high for the day is expected to be a refreshing +7. Cause and effect are tricky things. Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.

Miss Julie dissects a cat:

It's a Muslim Thing, You Wouldn't Understand

"The couple in happier times, before Hassan removed his wife’s head."

And Mark Steyn wonders:

Just asking, but are beheadings common in western New York? I used to spend a lot of time in that neck of the woods and I don't remember decapitation as a routine form of murder. Yet the killing of Aasiya Hassan seems to have elicited a very muted response.

Without Chemicals, Life Itself Would Be Unbearable

Welcome to the Obamateur Hour

The indispensable Mark Steyn:

It suggests a perverse kind of genius that the 44th president did not wait for a single “event” to throw him off course. Instead he threw himself off: “Is Obama tanking already?” (Congressional Quarterly); “Has Barack Obama’s presidency already failed?” (the Financial Times). Whether or not it’s “already” failed or tanked, the monthly magazines still gazing out from their newsstands with their glossy inaugural covers of a smiling Barack and Michelle waltzing on the audacity of hope seem like musty historical artifacts from a lost age. The ship didn’t need to hit an iceberg; it stalled halfway down the slipway. This is still the phase before “events” come into play, when an incoming president has nothing to get in the way of his judgment and executive competence. President Obama chose to nominate Tim “Indispensable” Geithner and Tom “Home, James!” Daschle, men whose enthusiasm for the size of the federal budget is in inverse proportion to their urge to contribute to it. He chose to nominate as commerce secretary first the scandal-afflicted Bill Richardson and then the freakishly scandal-free Judd Gregg, and wound up losing both.

To be sure, the present state of the economy is an “event,” and has blown many governments around the world off course. But again: The hideous drooling blob of toxic pustules dignified as “stimulus” is something the incoming Obama had months to prepare for, with oodles of bipartisan goodwill and fawning press coverage to waft him along. Instead he chose to outsource it to Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney Frank, and the rest of the congressional pork barons. So that too is not an “event” but merely, like his cabinet picks, a matter of judgment and executive competence.

Mark 1:40-45

And there came a leper to Him, beseeching Him, and kneeling down said to Him: "If Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean."

And Jesus having compassion on him, stretched forth His hand; and touching him, saith to him: "I will. Be thou made clean." And when He had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was made clean.

And He strictly charged him, and forthwith sent him away. And He saith to him: "See thou tell no one; but go, show thyself to the high priest, and offer for thy cleansing the things that Moses commanded, for a testimony to them."

But he being gone out, began to publish and to blaze abroad the word: so that He could not openly go into the city, but was without in desert places: and they flocked to Him from all sides.

Caturday

At War With the Word

If one were to write a political history of Montana, it might well be possible to do so without using the words "Virgin Birth," "Resurrection," or "Evangelism." It would be considerably more difficult to omit those words from a history of, say, the United States. What, for example, would one do about Jonathan Edwards, or the settlement of Mary-land?

Now imagine you've assembled a four-volume "Encyclopedia of Christian Civilization." Omission of those words wouldn't make the task merely impossible, the result would be completely incoherent.

We are apparently mistaken, however:

Wiley-Blackwell, a major academic press, was set to release its four-volume Encyclopedia of Christian Civilization this month. According to the encyclopedia’s editor, George Thomas Kurian, the set had been copy-edited, fact-checked, proofread, publisher-approved, printed, bound, and formally launched (to high praise) at the recent American Academy of Religion/Society of Biblical Literature conference. But protests from a small group of scholars associated with the project have led the press to postpone publication, recall all copies already distributed, and destroy the existing print run. The scholars’ complaint? The Encyclopedia of Christian Civilization, they have reportedly argued, is “too Christian.” “They also object to historical references to the persecution and massacres of Christians by Muslims,” Kurian says, “but at the same time want references favorable to Islam.”

[snip]

The memo also claims that the “words or passages [the critics] want deleted” include “Antichrist,” “BC/AD (as chronological markers),” “Virgin Birth,” “Resurrection,” and “Evangelism.” “To make the treatment ‘more balanced,’” the memo says, the critics “also want the insertion of material denigrating Christianity in some form or fashion.”

Oh my. The use of B.C. and A.D. could certainly be avoided with a little editing. Luther's 95 Theses, for example, could simply be described as having been posted in MMCCLXX A.U.C. The others would be more difficult.

More HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.

The Anxiety of Privilege or, How to Economize With Caviar on a Filet Mignon Budget

Caviar Melt? Sirloin Helper? Boo Fucking Hoo.

A Glib & Superficial Stimulus Plan?

Valentine's Day Tutorial

Twenty-four hours, girls, and the big day will be upon us. Fortuitously, this year Valentine's Day falls on Saturday, so there's no excuse to be home tomorrow night.

Always seeking the opportunity to be of assistance, we provide the following tutorial to help you get ready for the Big Night:

You're welcome.

Gilding the Lily

THIS is stupid. Just sayin'.

Theoretical Mathematics

Numbers in the news:

PALO ALTO, CA - An international mathematics research team announced today that they had discovered a new integer that surpasses any previously known value "by a totally mindblowing shitload." Project director Yujin Xiao of Stanford University said the theoretical number, dubbed a "stimulus," could lead to breakthroughs in fields as diverse as astrophysics, quantum mechanics, and Chicago asphalt contracting.

"Unlike previous large numbers like the Googleplex or the Bazillionty, the Stimulus has no static numerical definition," said Xiao. "It keeps growing and growing, compounding factorially, eating up all zeros in its path. It moves freely across Cartesian dimensions and has the power to make any other number irrational."

They Told Me . . .

. . . that if I voted against B. Obama, people suspected of terrorism would be held indefinitely, without charges, without trial, by the evil, bloodthirsty Government of the United States.

And they were right!

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Coming May 13, available now for pre-order at Amazon.com.

Once Upon a Time

That is, in 1981:

I Know I Feel Better

The "economic stimulus" bill floating around on Capitol Hill includes $198 million to compensate Filipino veterans who fought in World War II, $2 million to train Native Americans to become plumbers and pipefitters, $150 million for renovations to the Smithsonian Institution, and $3.26 billion for the Western Area Power Administration.

Are We Good?

Real headline from the Daily Mail:

Chinese TV Station Sorry for Accidentally
Burning Down Brand-new Luxury Hotel

Financial Planning 101

Nothing Says "I Love You" . . . .

. . . quite like Bacon.

Everything Old is New Again

In May, 1939, Secretary of the Treasury Henry Morgenthau wrote in his diary:

We have tried spending money. We are spending more than we have ever spent before and it does not work. And I have just one interest, and now if I am wrong somebody else can have my job. I want to see this country prosper. I want to see people get a job. I want to see people get enough to eat. We have never made good on our promises. I say after eight years of this administration, we have just as much unemployment as when we started. And enormous debt to boot.

Change you can believe in.

The Truth Will Set You Free II

Don't get me started on the ignorant, unctuous, and credulous Phil Donahue.

One of the advantages of Truth over posturing, rhetorical flourish, and lies is that it's always true. And so the thoughts of Milton Friedman, 30 years ago, remain true today:

The Truth Will Set You Free

We're beginning to detect a collateral phenomenon generated by the New Dawn ascendancy of the radical wing of the Democrat party: now that they're firmly in the driver's seat, some of them feel free finally to speak the truth. These tidbits of honesty are no surprise to those of us who have long since been making cryptic maps of where we've buried the Krugerrands. But we suspect that the naked contempt for ordinary people will eventually persuade Americans to seek leaders, rather than masters.

Case in point: John "I married another guy's money" Kerry opining on the ineffectiveness of tax cuts:

I've supported many tax cuts over the years, and there are tax cuts in this proposal. But a tax cut is non-targeted.

If you put a tax cut into the hands of a business or family, there's no guarantee that they're going to invest that or invest it in America.

They're free to go invest anywhere that they want if they choose to invest.

Over at The Weekly Standard, the adorable Mary Katharine Ham observes:

Indeed, people with their own hard-earned money in their own pockets are free to spend, save, invest, or not wherever they please. Kerry betrays the fear that haunts every good liberal— that the American people won't spend their money on exactly what good liberals would spend it on. Good liberals must, therefore, advocate for forcibly relieving the American people of the better part of a trillion dollars of their own money to fund things like STD education, welfare programs, and water parks.

Just so.

All The News That's WHAT?!

Special from Judith Warner at The New York Times.

Yuck:

The other night I dreamt of Barack Obama. He was taking a shower right when I needed to get into the bathroom to shave my legs, and then he was being yelled at by my husband, Max, for smoking in the house. It was not clear whether Max was feeling protective of the president’s health or jealous because of the cigarette.

[snip]

Many women — not too surprisingly — were dreaming about sex with the president. In these dreams, the women replaced Michelle with greater or lesser guilt or, in the case of a 62-year-old woman in North Florida, whose dream was reported to me by her daughter, found a fully above-board solution: “Michelle had divorced Barack because he had become ‘too much of a star.’ He then married my mother, who was oh so proud to be the first lady,” the daughter wrote me.

Read the whole thing, but take care not to do so while enjoying a beverage -- you'll find yourself beset by the whole coffee out of your nose thing. And don't miss the comments.

Tuesday, January 20, 12:01 p.m.

Shortly after noon on January 20, three young men wearing vintage Robert Hall suits, white shirts, narrow ties and wingtips arrived to interview your humble and obedient servant. Only one spoke, and he looked somewhat familiar.

"Do you know why I pulled you over today sir?"
"Do you know why we're here today, sir?"

"No," I said, though I knew very well why they were here.

"Supr . . that is, 'President Obama' has signed an Executive Order reinstating the Fairness Doctrine, and extending it to all electronic communications."

"I didn't know that," I responded, lying.

"Electrons Belong to the People," he intoned and, as he said it, all three snapped to attention, and gave a sort of salute. Their lapels glinted with reflected light, the polyester suffering from too many clumsy ironings.

"We're here to take you into custody, for your own good. You have been guilty of publishing material injurious to the mood and contentment of the American People." he said, reaching into his jacket pocket.

"Don't tase me, Bro!" I shrieked, but it was too late.

I woke up in a reeducation camp in Venezuela. I will save you, my friends, from a full description of the weeks of brainwashing, torture, indoctrination and penmanship lessons. Perhaps the worst episode involved my being required to watch films of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney Frank and other New Dawn leaders.

I shiver even now. But eventually I escaped, and found that a sort of Underground Railroad, manned mostly by Catholic priests, had been established. And so I made my way, from church to church, to my present location. You may wonder where I am, but will understand that security prevents me from revealing it. Given the cultural ignorance of the New Dawn regime, I feel free to give a hint: Wolfman Jack. I have tapped into the Internet in much the same way as The Wolfman operated in the glory days of pirate radio.

The major banks have been nationalized, the American auto industry is not far behind. Now, a "stimulus bill" is about to be passed and presented to the Maximum Leader for his imprimatur. Fortunately, some dissenters have yet to be silenced.

We're back. Bowed but unbroken. Buy gold. Stockpile water, spam, Vienna sausages, and those little butter cookies.

Never surrender.

Peace Out!

And She Can Actually Sing

Internet Pranks?

Some so-called pranks are amusing, but most we just don't understand.

For example: is this really Taylor Swift?

Change You Can Believe In

"America needs a tax code simple enough for the Treasury secretary to figure out."

"I Know My Rights!"

In posting a video of this sort, recommended by that infallible connoisseur of the absurd, Uncle Michael, we would ordinarily use the money quote as the title of the post. Certainly "I know my rights!" qualifies in this instance. But this clip -- from the dashboard video camera of a cop -- overflows with such material, to wit:

"Oh, man. Not this guy."

"Pullin' over Steve; stop the lawnmower."

"Hey, turn the lawnmower off."

"Steve, how many times I gotta' tell you you can't be driving down the road, drinkin', on a lawn mower?"

"I'm just goin' down to the Oyster Shack, man!"

"Where your whiskey at?" "I just got this, man!"

"I'm not goin' to jail today."

"I'm dead! Goddamit!"

"I think I crapped my pants."

We pause here, before our feature presentation, to reflect on Uncle Michael's inerrant instincts respecting matters of this sort. It is not only that he recognizes the inherent absurdity of a fellow, drunkenly piloting a lawnmower down a country lane, only to be pulled over, tazed, and arrested.

No.

To grasp the quintessence of Uncle Michael's judgment one must realize this: Uncle Michael sees this video and realizes, "Hey, man. I been there." Indeed.

More: in recommending this item to your humble and obedient servant, Uncle Michael implies (correctly): "Hey, man. We both been there. And you know it."

Just so.

Radiohead? We Don't Think So

Lesley Gore (Lesley Sue Goldstein) will be 63 in May. She was sixteen when she recorded It's My Party in 1963. Here's a live performance in 2007:

Our favorite was the "proto-feminist" You Don't Own Me, released in 1964:

Sigh . . . .

MacBook Wheel

While attendance was down at this year's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, there was no lack of innovative products on display. Apple Computer, always on the cutting edge, introduced the MacBook Wheel:

Change You Can Believe In

Cash & Carry

"It's shocking that men will pay so much for someone's virginity, which isn't even prized so highly anymore."

Where Did the 17 Points Come From?

I'm an embarrassment to Barack!


I only scored 17 on the Obama Test

But we knew that.

Bad

For bad writing, bad acting, and bad special effects, you just can't beat bad Japanese science fiction movies:

Solidarity

G&S expresses its solidarity with Israel and the IDF. Something about a young woman who can field strip your Galil gets and holds our attention.

Our Patience is Officially Exhausted

Please just make it stop. More HERE.

Hope

Eternal Love?

News You Can Use

Old People News

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Spoofs | TV & Movie Spoofs

Caturday Morning: Dramatic Cat

What To Do In A Zombie Attack

A series of educational Civil Defense shorts that I'm pretty sure I saw in about 1961. Today we tend to discount the zombie menace, and concentrate on more trendy threats, such as reality television, Paris Hilton and speed cameras. Presented as a public service:

You Know?

It's a good thing she doesn't hunt moose, and can't shoot straight, or the New York Times would be foaming at her dangerous ignorance and lack of experience:

Luke 1:26 - 38

And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.

And the angel came in unto her, and said, "Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women."

And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.

And the angel said unto her, "Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end."

Then said Mary unto the angel, "How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?"

And the angel answered and said unto her, "The Holy Spirit shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren.

"For with God nothing shall be impossible."

And Mary said, "Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word."

And the angel departed from her.

All The News That's Fit to Print

There's funny. And there's clever.

And then there's just plain sublime.

Like this full-depth (all the links work) version of the on-line New York Times for next July 4.

Detroit: Industry in Crisis

NPR reports on Detroit's newest innovation: the Desperado.

Caturday Morning

Common Man's Advice re Financial Panic

From Uncle Michael.

California Approves Interspecies Nuptuals

Story HERE.

Because Everyone Has a GMail Account

Pretty Good Reflexes for an Old Man

Who knew Keith Olberman was in Baghdad?

Happy 19th

Uncle Michael reminds us that today is Taylor Swift's birthday.

Soft, Pliable, Healthy Teats

Seriously: Who could ask for anything more? We actually have a can of this stuff on our desk. It's great -- chapped lips, dry hands, hard, stiff, sick teats -- it's good for what ails you.



Ad thanks to the Big Green Cardinal.

We Knew That

Because the Beard Makes the Man.

Let the Free Market Work

Current bid is $53. Original HERE.

Paglia Perfect

Camille wonders:

As for Obama's appointment of Hillary Clinton as secretary of state, what sense does that make except within parochial Democratic politics? Awarding such a prize plum to Hillary may be a sop to her aggrieved fan base, but what exactly are her credentials for that position? Aside from being a mediocre senator (who, contrary to press reports, did very little for upstate New York), Hillary has a poor track record as both a negotiator and a manager. And of course both Clintons constantly view the world through the milky lens of their own self-interest. Well, it's time for Hillary to put up or shut up. If she gets as little traction in world affairs as Condoleezza Rice has, Hillary will be flushed down the rabbit hole with her feckless husband and effectively neutralized as a future presidential contender. If that's Obama's clever plan, is it worth the gamble? The secretary of state should be a more reserved, unflappable character -- not a drama queen who, even in her acceptance speech, morphed into three different personalities in the space of five minutes.

Given Obama's elaborate deference to the Clintons, beginning with his over-accommodation of them at the Democratic convention in August, a nagging question has floated around the Web: What do the Clintons have on him? No one doubts that the Clinton opposition research team was turning over every rock in its mission to propel Hillary into the White House. There's an information vacuum here that conspiracy theorists have been rushing to fill.

Gun Safety PSA

Plaxico Burress' PSA on Gun Safety

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Everything's Amazing, Yet Nobody's Happy

Comedian Louis C.K. on Conan:

Finally, a video from Uncle Michael without a single naked woman.

Lemurday Morning

We Need One

Sigh . . . . .

NSFW language:

We Want One

Order HERE.

H/T R2D2.

News of the World

"A Vero Beach man is accused of assaulting his girlfriend multiple times with a McDonald's cheeseburger, according to his arrest affidavit."

"Violence erupts in Fort Pierce as women bake cookies."

"Student arrested for passing gas, turning off classmate's computer."

"Woman says ex-boyfriend rides up on bike, snatches wig."

"Church Uses Devil To Rebrand Prayer Channel."

"Man Says Wife Was Accidentally Shot During Sex."

Economics Lesson

Here's how things were done in the Old Economy, if you were interested in remaining solvent:

Google Gears Down for Tougher Times

And here's how it's done in the New Economy where, every day in every way, things get better and better:

Big Three Seek $34 Billion Aid

G&S Still Likes Taylor Swift

We confess we're suckers for this sort of thing. But fear not, we'll be back to grumpy by noon.

Mid-Week Pastoral Message

“Lord, make me chaste — but not yet.”

You're Doing it Wrong

"All right, the entertainment may be in the form of nude or semi-nude performers, but it's not sexually stimulating."

Just Kill Me Now

"The first and only action figure with the power to transform a nation."

Obama: No Half Measures

WASHINGTON DC - Ending weeks of speculation and rumors, President-Elect Barack Obama today named Bill Clinton to join his incoming administration as President of the United States, where he will head the federal government's executive branch.

"I am pleased that Bill Clinton has agreed to come out of retirement to head up this crucial post in my administration," said Obama. "He brings a lifetime of previous executive experience as Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and has worked closely with most of the members of my Cabinet."

Clinton said he was "excited and honored" by the appointment, and would work "day and night" to defeat all the key policy objectives proposed by Mr. Obama during the campaign.

"I am gratified that the President-Elect has entrusted me with this important responsibility," said Clinton. "I'm looking forward to getting back behind, and under, the Oval Office desk again. As I have told the President-Elect, I pledge to do whatever I can to serve his historic administration by making sure that none of that bullshit he talked about during the campaign will ever see the light of day. Americans can rest assured that he will be safely confined to the East Wing, as far away as possible from any potentially dangerous office equipment or nuclear buttons."

More HERE.

Rough Men

George Orwell said: "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

Here's one of them.

". . . to the Shores of Tripoli . . ."

HEH: "If the 21st Century nation-state can’t even fight pirates, what’s it good for, exactly? Collecting taxes? What happens when taxpayers decide they’d rather be pirates?"

Mark 13:33-37

Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.

For the Son of Man is as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch.

Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cockcrowing, or in the morning: Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping.

And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch.

Caturday Morning

From Kickball Girl, who really oughtn't to have this much time on her hands.

A Woman's Right to Shoes

The Daily Mail reports:

Drunk women who stagger about in high heels are to be protected - at public expense - from twisting their ankles.

They will be handed flip-flops to wear by police outside nightclubs as they wend their way home.

The scheme is part of a £30,000 drive by police and councillors to prevent 'alcohol-related harm'.

It has been prompted by fears that women wearing stilettos or similar footwear could tumble over.

Officials also claim that female revellers are at risk of cutting the soles of their feet by walking barefoot.

The flip-flops will be given to anyone whose footwear is 'uncomfortable, inappropriate or soiled' and will be paid for with a Home Office grant.

The rubber shoes, which carry printed messages about safe drinking, will also be available free from the council's 'Safe Bus' on the harbourside.

The force has already been handing out condoms and sexual health advice to revellers, and ordered drunken men who urinate in the street to clean up their own mess with a mop and bucket.

Inspector Adrian Leisk, from Safer Communities Torbay, said: 'Sometimes people get drunk and you see them carrying footwear which is inappropriate.

'The emphasis is on providing replacement footwear for people to get home in, should they find their footwear uncomfortable, inappropriate or soiled.

Operators are Standing By

They most certainly are; they most certainly are.

Thanksgiving

The uniquely American holiday. The time for green-bean casserole with the crunchy canned onions on top, mashed sweet potatoes with mini-marshmallows, pumpkin pie, and flaming oil next to the propane tank.

Wait, what?

Getaway Day

Today is the busiest travel day of the year. Good luck.