Don't They Have Fathers?

Any reporter will tell you that one sort of story that will always please is the "wacky law" piece. You know the one: "Legislature Redefines Pi as Equal to 3" or "Alaska Law Bars Snowmen Taller Than Students on School Property."

Today's "Those Wacky Legislators" story comes from Texas, where the state House of Representatives passed a bill that, if enacted into law, would regulate the conduct of Texas cheerleaders. [No, it's not about drug testing or breast augmentation.] Expect this story to get big play to show just how outrageous those silly censors are.

According to CNN (full story [HERE]):

The state's House of Representatives voted 85-55 to approve a bill that would forbid sexy cheers and give the Texas Education Agency authority to punish schools that allow "overtly sexually suggestive" routines at football games and other events.

According to Representative Al Edwards (a Democrat):

"People are calling and telling me how disgusting it is to see sexually suggestive routines on the part of marching units or cheerleaders."

The question is, of course, what to think about this. Let's start with some things we can agree on. [No, really, you'll be surprised.]

For this exercise, please take full advantage of the medium. No one else knows what you're reading. Even I don't know what you're thinking (except that I do). No one is looking over your shoulder. There's only you and me here, and I promise not to tell.

First, we both know EXACTLY what they're talking about. It's not short skirts and high kicks. It's a bunch of stuff, and you know EXACTLY what I mean. Second, you know perfectly well that to object, or to question, or to suggest that this or that seems more than a little over the top, is to reveal yourself as some sort of prude. Old fashioned. Not with it. A dirty mind.

See? I told you we could agree.

Now let me tell you what I think, and you can think whatever you want.

I'm some sort of conservative. And I'm some sort of libertarian. And I'm some sort of Christian. It's ridiculous for a state legislature to try and regulate High School cheerleaders, because there's no way to agree on a definition of what's not allowed, and there's no way to enforce a definition even if one could be agreed on. And those busybodies in the state capitol should mind their own business, and leave me the Hell alone. But, nonetheless, we both know that some of this is way over the line. It's called immodesty, and there is most certainly a solution.

Don't these girls have fathers?