Feet Don't Fail Me Now!

From the McMinnville Oregon NewsRegister (circulation 10,921, "Serving the Greater Yamhill Valley Area Every Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday") comes THIS story.

It announces a lecture (and booksigning, admission $7) by a Dr. Roger Leir. Dr. Leir will speak on new foreign surgical techniques.

Dr. Leir is a podiatrist, and says that in 1995 he removed a strange metallic device from the foot of a patient:

He subsequently has done surgery to remove 10 more objects which, despite analysis by some of the most sophisticated scientists in the country, continue to defy earthly explanation. At least one analyst compared the composition of the object to that of a meteorite; others have pointed out metallurgical anomalies.

Dr. Leir believes they were implanted by aliens (no, NOT Canadians). No longer content with tiny little cranial transmitters, alien impregnation apparently passe, those bastards have gone for the feet.

Some ufologists theorize the objects were implanted to control our behavior. But Leir said his best guess is that they are monitoring devices which keep track of genetic changes in human beings.

That certainly was my first hypothesis.

The New Plan by the extraterrestrials is cunningly subtle, and just crazy enough to work. Podiatrists now constitute our first line of defense against this ancient foe.

Dr. Leir: