Die, cable man, DIE!

NTL is a British cable company. Like its brethren on this side of the pond, it would like to sell you cable TV, broadband internet service, local telephone service, long distance telephone service, newpapers, magazines and stuffed animals. It's the 21st Century! It's synergy!

Most of us have been there. We've waited for the cable guy. We've been trapped in voice-mail jail. We've been told that the solution to the problem is to call a different number, which turns out to have been disconnected. We've watched our internet connection slow to a crawl, and been told by technical support to check the modem cables.

I've stumbled across what purports to be a letter of complaint from a (shall we say) "dissatisfied" customer of NTL:

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someonewill call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

We cannot vouch for the authenticity of the letter; whether it is real or fiction is beside the point: It speaks for us!