I Forgot!

One of Steve Martin’s earliest comic routines involved answering the question “So, you want to make a million dollars, and pay no taxes?” His solution is a two-step procedure: First, get a million dollars. Second, when the Government comes by and says “Hey! You’ve got a million dollars, and paid no taxes!” Just answer “I FORGOT!” (I think it's on this album.)

For most of us the unlikelihood of accomplishing Step One would preclude taking advantage of the benefits of Step Two. Not so Richard Hatch, who received $1,000,000 as the winner of the first season of the “reality” show “Survivor.”

[If you’ve never heard of Richard Hatch, congratulations. If you’ve never heard of “Survivor,” we hail you as a confirmed grown-up. If you’ve never heard of “reality TV,” we’re very happy that whole thing with the coma worked out for the best.]

AP reports:

Richard Hatch, who won $1 million on the first season of the reality show "Survivor," was indicted Thursday for failing to pay taxes on his winnings.

Mr. Hatch did not quite claim that he forgot, but instead explained “he thought CBS was responsible for paying the taxes on his prize.”

Hatch is obviously one of those big-picture kind of guys, who can’t let himself be distracted by details concerning who’s paying the taxes on his million dollars.

AP reports that Hatch could not be reached for comment because he was “on a plane headed for Houston . . . to help hurricane victims.”

Of course he was.