Blasphemy of the Day

December is truly the Holiday Season. Filled with Holy Days, there is Christmas on December 25, there is Hanukkah, the eight-day Jewish celebration beginning on the 25th of Kislev, and there's Kwanzaa.

This last being a bit of hard-leftist agit-prop invented in 1966 by a black-supremecist criminal con artist named Ron Karenga, who explained, "...it was chosen to give a Black alternative to the existing holiday and give Blacks an opportunity to celebrate themselves and history, rather than simply imitate the practice of the dominant society."

[That's not something you see every day: An unapologetic, straightforward attempt to save you from those Christian snares. But even Ron knows that the "dominant society" isn't "Christian" in any important sense. But it is mildly capitalist and free-market in its beliefs, and that's what got Dr. K's panties in a bunch. But I digress.]

What's really odd about Kwanzaa is that hardly anything about it is true, and everything about it is intended to divert African-Americans from Christianity. It would be hilarious were it not so sad, and it's still amusing for all that.

Since its invention the bogus holiday has been incorporated as a sacrament of the Established Church of Fundamentalist Secular Orthodoxy. As such, we guarantee that your children (if they attend a school run by The State) have learned about this ancient tradition, and been taught the Kwanzaa Song. They may be unable to read, but they damn well better know that "Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa is an African Holiday." Which it's not, of course.

Indeed, like all aspects of the dogma of the Established Church, criticism of Kwanzaa will get you shushed in polite circles. Making fun of Kwanzaa, and exposing its silly roots, can get you banned by AOL. No, really:

Wow! -- my stupid poem, my puny blog, deemed "offensive" by a colossal corporation. My first reaction was that "Banned by AOL" would look great on my homepage. Then I started to wonder, as the anonymous commenter had: Does AOL censor email? And if so how? When and why? Come to think of it, Is that even legal? What constitutes "a high volume of complaints" and who is doing the whining?

That's part of Kathy Shaidle's excited tale of her discovery that she'd done something so offensive, so beyond the settled realm of acceptible internet discourse, that Mighty AOL had programmed its servers to block any email that included a link to WHAT SHE'D DONE.

And what, you may ask, had she done? (We're so glad you asked.)

Her crime (one so heinous as to be a Crime For Which There Is No Name) was to compose and publish this little thing:

'Twas the night before Kwanzaa
And all through the 'hood,
Maulana Karenga was up to no good.

He'd tortured a woman and spent time in jail.
He needed a new scam that just wouldn't fail.
("So what if I stuck some chick's toe in a vice?
Nobody said revolution was nice!")

The Sixties were over. Now what would he do?
Why, he went back to school -- so that's "Dr." to you!
He once ordered shootouts at UCLA
Now he teaches Black Studies just miles away.

Then to top it all off, the good Doctor's new plan
Was to get rid of Christmas and piss off The Man.

Karenga invented a fake holiday.
He called the thing Kwanza. "Hey, what's that you say?

"You don't get what's 'black' about Maoist baloney?
You say that my festival's totally phony?

"Who cares if corn isn't an African crop?
Who cares if our harvest's a month or two off?
Who cares if Swahili's not our mother tongue?
A lie for The Cause never hurt anyone!

"Umoja! Ujima! Kujichagulia, too!
Collectivist crap never sounded so cool!
Those guilty white liberals -- easy to fool.
Your kids will now celebrate Kwanzaa in school!"

And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
"Happy Kwanzaa to all, except if you're white!"

As a service to the universe, Kathy has provided an annotated version, with hotlinks, HERE.

The complete story of her being Banned By AOL is HERE.

And her modest mention of the events appears today on her own blog, relapsed catholic.