Just Die

The Times (the real one, you twit) reports that our environmental masters now command not only that we're not to drive our cars, but that your evening walk is killing the planet:

Walking does more than driving to cause global warming, a leading environmentalist has calculated.

Food production is now so energy-intensive that more carbon is emitted providing a person with enough calories to walk to the shops than a car would emit over the same distance. The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes.

Some day the planet will have been environmentally perfected; there just won't be anyone left to visit the exhibit.