"The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."


Glenn Reynolds:

Barack Obama:
"Impossible to transcend."

Albert A. Gore, Jr.:
"An incontinent brute."

Rev. Jeremiah Wright:
"God damn the Gentleman Farmer."

Friends of GF's Sons:
"Is that really your dad?"

Kickball Girl:
"Keeping 'em alive until 7:45."

Hired Hand:
"I think . . . we forgot the pheasant."

I'm an
Alcoholic Yeti
in the
TTLB Ecosystem

Monday, February 04, 2008

Gathering Evidence May Be a Problem

Because our intrepid band of tireless surfers go to places you never knew existed, don't have time to search for, and don't want to get caught at work looking at:

"Middle School Issues Ban on Intentional Flatulence"

Clearly not intended to punish incidental or consequential flatulence. One wonders if bulletins will be issued to enforcement authorities so that they may coordinate their work with that of the cafeteria staff.

We think it also possible that different degrees of the offense may eventually be defined. Third Degree Flatulence, for example, may be the casual toot, of moderate duration, sounding in the tenor range. Second degree might entail either multiple emissions over a defined period, and/or sounding in the baritone. And, of course, First Degree Flatulence would be reserved for bass performances of at least five second duration.

Possibly the authorities are unaware that flatulence, intentional or otherwise, is always amusing.

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