I Wonder What the Hold Music Is?

"For advice on confessing, press one. To confess, press two. To listen to some confessions, press three."

No!  Really!  We're not making this up!  "We're sorry, but Christ is busy right now.  Your confession is important to Him.  All calls will be answered in order."  They must do that, right?  Even if His capacity is infinite, there can only be a finite number of telephone circuits.  If the call is lost halfway through, do you receive absolution anyway?  How about penance?  "Please hold while we connect you to one of our penance technicians."

Here's more:

The site was set up this month at the beginning of the Christian fasting period of Lent by a group of Catholics working for AABAS, a small Paris company that provides telephone messaging services . . . . It does not offer absolution for sins, which only a priest can provide, said the creator, Camille, who asked for her second name not be cited because she had received threats about the service.

Hey, wait! No absolution? We're pretty confident that it's not the priest who provides absolution, and we're certain that "Camille" isn't actually The Creator. Who ARE these guys, anyway?

"In case of serious or mortal sins -- that is, sins that have cut you off from Christ our Lord, it is indispensable to confide in a priest." "Confide?" I've got buddies I can "confide" in. In case of mortal sin, I don't need to "confide" in a priest, I need to get my ass into that booth. Sheesh.

We're encouraged at least that the Conference of French Bishops has warned that the call-in service has "no approval from the Catholic Church in France." On the other hand, that sounds a bit like a warning of trademark infringement; you know, like "accept no substitutes."

Read the whole article, and have fun playing "what's wrong with this picture?"