Our Felid Masters

He's referred to as "Almond" by his human servants, and they report that he's never left the maple tree where he was born seven months ago. Using standard mind-control techniques, he's arranged for a fellow named Ron Venden to bring him food. Ron also made him a little bed of straw up in the tree, twelve feet from the ground. The humans involved base their assertion that he stays up there on the fact that they've never seen paw-prints in the snow at the base of the tree. This, of course, ignores the well-documented ability of cats to teleport, moving from Point A to Point B without going through the intervening space.

It's unusual for there to be such a blatant and public exercise of power. It has long been cat policy to masquerade as lovable, harmless pets. Those few humans aware of the extent of their power, and who have glimpsed their real purpose in visiting Earth, are kept on a pretty short leash.

Reported in the Wisconsin State Journal.