Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine
A horrible and tragic accident:
NEW YORK—Shocked and saddened witnesses at the Huffington Post's news-aggregation facility have confirmed that employee Henry Evers, 25, died Wednesday after being sucked into the website's powerful news-repurposing turbine, where his body was immediately torn to pieces.
The 200-ton content-compiling device, developed by Greek multimillionaire and site co-founder Arianna Huffington, sucks up original articles from around the web with its massive rotor assembly, re-brands them with the Huffington Post name, and then spits them back out on the company's home page.
Workers said that when the machine ground to a halt at approximately 11:30 a.m., Evers reached inside to dislodge a particularly thoughtful 700-word Christian Science Monitor essay on the unrest in Syria that had become jammed.
Apparently unprepared for the aggregator mechanism's quick restart, Evers was gruesomely dismembered by its rapidly spinning blades, which soaked the room in blood and unprocessed news content.
Labels: Modern Life
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Comments on "Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine"
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Faithful Sherpa said ... (8:55 AM) :
post a commentSir:
If you want to let a post sit for over a week, it had better be pretty darn interesting. Now, if you feel this post is up to the task, so be it.
But seriously. Support our troops. Keep me awake at work.