Great Retarded Giant to our North

O Canada! Their home and native land! True patriot love in all thy sons command.

According to the CBC, school officials at Ecole Marie Poburan in St. Albert, about eight kilometers (that's about five miles in real distance) northwest of Edmonton, have taken up the question of the cafeteria menu at the Catholic elementary school. This, you may say, is perfectly natural, given the invasion of school lunches by sugary soda, fatty pizza or burgers, and salty fries and other snacks. Indeed. But you would be wrong.

It appears that two students at the school (which has an enrollment of 400) are allergic to milk. Their reaction is "potentially fatal." [A quick Google of the subject suggests that fatal reactions are monumentally rare. Is it possible that we deal here with over-active parental units?] Accordingly, under consideration is a proposal to ban the sale of milk in the cafeteria until these children are no longer enrolled. Graciously, the school allows, normal children "would still be allowed to bring milk to school ." A nice touch.

Reaction from parents native to Earth was predictable:

Angie Dea said there could be a number of ramifications if the school takes away its milk program.

"We've had peanuts already, then you've got to look at shellfish, strawberries, any other type of allergen, celiac children with wheat ... all those different things," said Dea.

Dea says she understands the need to protect the children who are allergic to milk, but she hopes it can be done another way.

But it appears she is dealing with administrators native, perhaps, to Iapetus:

"The other issue that we have to be clear about is could we rationalize, under any circumstance, sponsoring a known allergen in the school?" [Jerry Zimmer, the school superintendent] said. "So, if you want to use an analogy, if we knew that we have students that have peanut allergies in the school, would it make sense for the school to sponsor, on a daily basis, peanut butter sandwiches for students?"

Well, no, Mr. Z, since that would be pretty boring for everyone. But as such sandwiches are cheap, nutritious, and a hit with a large swath of kid-dom, I'd provide them now and again, and let those with medical difficulties cope. Moreover, Mr. Z, "known allergens" covers a lot of ground, and includes dust, mold, animal dander [I love that word], cockroaches and pollen. And the hits just keep on coming, as the NIH explains HERE. I believe it fair to say that there exist few foods to which someone is not allergic.

Ahh, the Nanny State in full cry. Just when you think it can't possibly become more ridiculous, it does.