This Just In From Mars

In the course of your faithful correspondent's yearlong residency in San Francisco, he has seen methamphetamines smoked out of stolen motorcycle sparkplugs, sat in dog excrement at a bus stop in a posh neighborhood, and been trampled by ninety year-old Chinese ladies traveling in packs of half a dozen or more.

But it's stories like this one that make living in the city of Saint Francis worthwhile.

We've declared independence (for about the eightieth time). Now, I'm certainly intrigued by the idea of secession, but SFist has some compelling reasons why we should stay:

As Americans, we're nonconformist sexual outlaws rebelling against Middle American society. Take Middle America out of the equation and we're just a bunch of tattooed, dyed hair freaks. Face it, we need to be part of America.

Hmm. Good point.