Kinder, gentler, dumber

New Hampshire. The Granite State. Low taxes. The standard by which Massachusetts is properly condemned. And home of the by-gum best motto in the whole durned U S of A:

Live Free or Die

No longer. Fulfilling a (no-doubt) expensive commission, an advertising agency has come up with a new tourist-friendly slogan: “You’re Going to Love It.” I’m not making this up.

Think about it. Gee, it's way nice here. Not too hot in the summer. Lakes and trees and stuff. Fish. You know, way cool stuff. You're going to love it. Just kill me right now.

Is this possibly some sort of infection that’s spread across the border from Canada?

Perhaps more thought should be given to cleaning up other state mottos, just as the thought police pressure sports teams to divest themselves of "offensive" mascots.

[A concept I've never understood. Are we to believe that a team adopts a mascot or nickname (Indians, Redskins, or the like) in order to associate the team with some sort of negative, derogatory view of (in these cases) the folks who arrived in North America any time prior to 1492? Is it even a little bit more likely that these references are in fact complimentary? Indeed, heroic? But I digress.]

For example, Alabama's "Audemus jura nostra defendere," ("We dare defend our rights"), would become "We agree to binding arbitration."

Maryland's "Fatti maschi, parole femmine" ("Manly deeds, womanly words," or something like "Speak softly and carry a big stick") is entirely unacceptable. Not only is it sexist, suggesting a difference between men and women, but it implicitly endorses aggressive behavior. Possible substitute: "Form a Committee and Write a Report."

And, of course, Virginia's "Sic Semper Tyrannis," ("Thus always to Tyrants!"), suggesting their death at the hands of the people, might become "Do You Suppose the Penalties Could be Abated, Commissioner?"

Just a thought.