Because They're Too Good

I am Orso'Grande.

Some idiots think the NBA is boring. Just a bunch of guys running up and down shootin' some hoops. Heck, with a little practice anybody can do that. Well, maybe not quite so good, but something like.

Bullshit.

I'll tell you the problem with the NBA: The players -- and particularly the best players -- are simply way too good. Most fans simply have no idea what they're looking at.

A very good NBA player can stand at the college three-point line and, if you leave him unguarded, can make more than 70 of a hundred baskets, throwing them up one-handed. Any time. Any night. Ain't no big thing. The only reason you don't see such a thing in a game is because that very good NBA player is being guarded by one (or two) NBA players who are darned near as good.

Gilbert Arenas, for example, can walk on to any college floor tonight anywhere in the country and, if he wants to, can score 80 points. Give him 4 competent college players to play around him, and he'll score 80 points against Florida, he'll score 80 points against UCLA, he'll score 90 points against North Carolina. These guys -- and guys like Arenas -- are simply that good.

Don't believe me?

Well, as you can read for yourself at the D.C. Sports Blog:

Gil [Gilbert Arenas] blogged some smack about DeShawn [Stevenson] yesterday, to wit:

I told him that I'd shoot with one-hand from college three better than he can shoot with both hands from NBA three. He really doesn't want to make that bet. He keeps brushing it off.

[snip]Anyhow, today after practice, Gil took 100 one-handed college three-pointers, and DeShawn took 100 two-handed NBA three-pointers. Oh, and they bet $20,000. Brendan Haywood and Antonio Daniels kept score. Caron Butler rebounded. Cal Booth was the voice of justice and fair play. Virtually everyone else on the team sat and watched.

Gil started out on fire, and finished up making 73 out of 100, with DeShawn attempting to distract him by spinning maniacally while dribbling a ball in the background. By the end, Gil was launching one-handed shots from out of bounds. "You think he's going to make 70 three-pointers?" he asked teammates, who questioned this strategy. "Get the [heck] out of here."

In any case, Gil was making em one-handed from out of bounds, too.

Still don't believe me? So watch the video for yourself: