Forget About Answering That Call at 3:00 a.m.

You might want to consider whether Hillary or Obama can best perform this Presidential duty without embarrassing the United States:

Not likely.

We're confident that Hillary, uhmmm, err..., well, that despite her vast experience, she throws like a girl. But that's probably the consequence of her arm being injured by sniper fire, since in college she pitched for the . . . Well, you get the idea.

And Obama is surely more at home with a soccer ball: very transcendent, internationalist, post-post-somethingorother. And besides, Rev. Wright taught him that white folks only invented baseball so there'd be at least one sport they could play better than black folks.