Mommy, Smelly Men, and Dr. Warren

For those of you who are both all relationship-upped, as well as without access to television, Dr. Neil Clark Warren is the founder of eHarmony. [In the interest of full disclosure, we have ourselves had some adventures on eHarmony (we're "HotSpeedo 12,482). We were at first alarmed that we'd been matched with a Tongan wrestler, but a small adjustment to our profile brought us a great number of matches with women "looking for someone to love my 7 cats as much as I do." But we digress.]

Dr. Warren promises not only to find you the love of your life, but that said person will look more like Jaclyn Smith than Jocelyn Wildenstein, to wit:

But not everyone is pleased:

Oh well. What? Do I hear grunts of doubt? If you don't believe us, then there's more HERE.