Sounds to us like performance art

We're keen students of the "alcohol may have been involved" genre, and so certainly didn't miss this:

A Colorado woman dropped her pants at a museum and rubbed her rear end all over a painting valued at $30 million, according to police.

Carmen Tisch, 36, was arrested after scratching, punching and, well, rubbing her butt against Clyfford Still's "1957-J no.2" and causing an estimated $10,000 damage to the artwork at the Clyfford Still Museum in Denver. Police believe she was drunk during the late December incident.

[snip]

The oil-on-canvas abstract expressionist painting was spared additional damage when the woman tried to urinate on it but apparently missed.

"It doesn't appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she's not being charged with that," Kimbrough said according to the Denver Post.

We expect at any moment the announcement that Ms. Tisch is herself a noted performance artist, and was actually acting pursuant to a substantial Government grant. In fact, we think that the posterior polishing of abstract art makes a profound artistic statement.

If you're wondering, here's the painting in question, although we have no idea whether this image is before or after the "damage." Without a side-by-side comparison of before-and-after, it's unclear how one could tell.