Japanese News You Can Use

Considering all the Things that are or have been "things" in Japan from time to time, it's not really that alarming that this Thing is now a "thing." In fact, this is the least alarming Thing I've seen involving Japanese Schoolgirls. More HERE.

When Reality Doesn't Fit the Narrative

They tried telling these wild hogs not to dig up Jim Pritchard's corn; they tried declaring his fields hog-free zones; perhaps they even tried shotguns.

Solution? A big burly man with an AR-15.

Engineers are different

"Clara Oswald, what have I told you about talking to strange men?"

March 22, 1429

Saint Joan d' Arc, the Maid of Orleans:

Jhesus-Maria, King of England, and you, Duke of Bedford, who call yourself regent of the Kingdom of France, you, Guillaume de la Poule, count of Suffort, Jean, sire of Talbot, and you, Thomas, sire of Scales, who call yourselves lieutenants of the Duke of Bedford, acknowledge the summons of the King of Heaven. Render to the Maid here sent by God the King of Heaven, the keys of all the good towns which you have taken and violated in France. She is here come by God’s will to reclaim the blood royal. She is very ready to make peace, if you will acknowledge her to be right, provided that France you render, and pay for having held it. And you, archers, companions of war, men-at-arms and others who are before the town of Orleans, go away into your own country, by God. And if so be not done, expect news of the Maid who will come to see you shortly, to your very great injury. King of England, if you do not so, I am chief-in-war and in whatever place I attain your people in France, I will make them quit it willy-nilly. And if they will not obey, I will have them all slain; I am here sent by God, the King of Heaven, body for body, to drive you out of all France … (Written this Tuesday of Holy Week, March 22, 1429.)

Training Tomorrow's CyberTerrorists

This badly-written piece at Discovery reveals something I've long suspected: people destined to become Serious Adults (bankers, senators, managers and the like) can't remember ever being children. I think we have to assume that at some time in their past they actually WERE children, but around the age of 20 there's a massive mental accident, and they forget what it was like. They go on to be Suits -- Important Adults who tell the rest of us what to do -- and do dumb stuff like this:

Computer-savvy teens are putting down their game controllers -- at least temporarily -- for code writing and virus-sweeping. Call it "Red Dawn: Part Deux: Teen Cyber-Commandos."

At events like the CyberLympics, CyberPatriot contest or just-announced "Toaster Wars," sponsored by the National Security Agency, high school geek squads are competing to see who does the best job at preventing unauthorized computer intrusions.

This growing interest in cyberdefense comes at a time when the Pentagon officials are warning against damaging computer attacks from China and other nations, while stoking concerns that the United States education system hasn't trained enough cyber-warriors to protect either military or civilian computer systems.

Because it's every teen's dream to develop mad computer skillz, and then go work for The Man. Sure it is.

"I gave all my money to head waiters and tarts."

The Telegraph reports that Peter Scott, perhaps the greatest cat burglar in history, has died. He was 82.

"Reelin' in the Years," as you've never heard it before.

I know, I know. Now you're scarred. But, having ourselves listened, you should be similarly afflicted.

This might help.

If it's Spring, can The Doctor be far behind?

What would Hollywood look like . . .

. . . without guns? "Real tough guys don't need guns, they just need a positive, can-do attitude." Thumbs & Ammo!

"It's no secret that morons and idiots are the majority of the world's population."

Adorable Girls Behave Adorably

"A single death is a tragedy . . .

". . . a million deaths is a statistic."  Seven deaths is a talking point.

HARRY REID: As I indicated, it was quite a big explosion. We'll follow this news very closely. I will do whatever I can going forward to support the United States military and the families of the fallen Marines.

Mr. President, it's very important we continue training our military, so important. But one of the things in sequester is we cut back in training and maintenance. That's the way sequester was written. Now, the bill that's on the floor, we hope to pass today helps that a little bit. At least in the next six months, it allows the military some degree of ability to move things around a little bit. Flexibility, we call it, and that's good. But we have to be very vigilant. This sequester should go away. We have cut already huge amounts of money in deficit reduction. It's just not appropriate, Mr. President, that our military can't train and do the maintenance necessary.

These men and women, our Marines were training there in Hawthorne. And with this sequester, it's going to cut back this stuff. I just hope everyone understands the sacrifices made by our military. They are significant, being away from home, away from families, away from their country.

Keeping Up With the News Media

Pope Terrorizes Infant

Why do wives choose to stay home?

Because it's easier on everyone concerned, moron.

An Idea Whose Time Has Come . . . and Gone

Now that you mention it . . . .

. . . he actually DOES look a bit like . . . well . . . , you know.

Today I Learned

Argentine President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner has traveled to Rome to meet with Pope Francis. While Archbishop of Buenos Aires, he famously clashed with her over same-sex "marriage" and birth control.  So today's news is that no punches were thrown, as if the Vatican were just another set for this week's episode of Girls Behaving Badly.  She was invited to lunch, another break with precedent.

But then, via Rocco Palmo:

Perhaps most sweetly of all, the head of state came bearing a favorite gift for Papa Bergoglio – a traditional Argentine gourd of maté: the tea-like herbal drink of which Francis is especially fond, and took to enjoying on the spot.

As longstanding Vatican protocol forbids the Pope being seen consuming anything but the Eucharist, well, there goes another one.

It's quite difficult to appear dignified while eating.  The point of politicians being photographed downing a pastrami sandwich is not that they appear dignified, but that they appear to be just like me.

The Garbo Diet

In which a writer for New York Magazine [today I learned that New York Magazine continues to publish] tries the health-food diet of Greta Garbo, in order to snarkily report how awful it is.  The diet was concocted by one Gayelord Hauser, best described as "lightly credentialed."  We were particularly struck by Day 4:

Back on the Hauser regime, I start the day with his notorious "pep breakfast" — two raw eggs beaten in orange juice. Hauser describes it as a "creamy drink fit for a King's table." I do not feel the same way. This is so much worse than raw eggs in milk that I drank for the Marilyn Monroe diet, I kind of can't believe it. If pneumonia were a food, this is what it would taste like.

This is quite ridiculous.  Raw eggs in orange juice (what my mother referred to as "orange whip") is delicious, while "raw eggs in milk," with a spoon of sugar and a dash of vanilla, is eggnog: delicious and nutritious both.

However much the mountebank Hauser may have been, his fancy patter led to periodic cohabitation with his most famous follower.

Technology and the studio system rendered the young Garbo merely beautiful.  In her mid-40s, a bit of time had made her exquisite.

White House Tours Cancelled; Senate Barbershop Costs $350,000 per year

More HERE.

The Natural

Ruth Steinhagen, right, plays ball in 1949 at the Cook County Jail in Chicago.

The Washington Post reports:

Ruth Ann Steinhagen, the Chicago woman whose near-fatal 1949 shooting of former Chicago Cubs first baseman Eddie Waitkus inspired the book and the movie “The Natural,” died with the same anonymity with which she lived for more than half a century.

The shooting, thought to be one of the first-ever stalker crimes, nearly killed Waitkus and temporarily sidetracked his career. The incident also helped draw attention to “baseball Annies” — young, hero-worshiping female groupies who would pursue major league ballplayers, often relentlessly.

Miss Steinhagen underwent nearly three years of psychiatric treatment, then disappeared into near obscurity and never spoke publicly about the Waitkus incident again. She spent much of her final 42 years living in a modest house on Chicago’s Northwest Side with her parents and sister.

She died Dec. 29 at a Chicago hospital of a subdural hematoma caused by an accidental fall in her home, a Cook County Medical Examiner spokeswoman said. She was 83.

Blessed Spring is almost here . . . .

An Explanation is in Order