Yeah, But Can It Clean Up?

Bastion of terrorist sympathy Salon.com has a relatively new column called "Object Lust," where exciting and new products are salivated over to ensure we keep consumer spending propped up for at least another six months. At the outset, reviewers usually looked at fairly fru-fru items, such as age-defying-but-secretly-carcinogenic face cream.

This week, those lefty nutjobs reach out to Red State Americans, who like their steak anything but tartare. As your faithful correspondent can attest to, slow-cooked ("smoked") meat is just about the best thing ever invented by humanity. And the proper technique hasn't really changed since. Sure, we no longer have to chase it over an open field, but we really haven't gotten much better in tens of thousands of years of trying.

Until now.


The Maverick Remote-Check Wireless Thermometer Set, retailing for around $80, will now allow true Pit Bosses like Gentleman Farmer and his crew to doze in the hammock while someone else keeps an (electronic) eye on things. It'll even send you a piercing alarm if the smoker's temperature strays outside the proper (and delicate) range.

Enough about W's speech. THIS is why I'M proud to be an American.