Piano Man

It has has all the earmarks of an elaborate hoax.

Or "Piano Man" may be exactly what he appears to be.

Which is who, exactly?

The Times Online (whence the picture) has reported HERE.

Piano Man was found April 7 wandering on a beach on the Isle of Sheppey, Kent, in the south of England. Tall and thin, apparently in his late twenties or early thirties, he was wearing a "dripping wet evening suit" with the labels cut off. First taken to the Medway Maritime Hospital, he now resides in a psychiatric hospital in Dartford. The Independent reports:

When Piano Man was found wandering in the dark beside the beach, he had not only cut the labels from the dark suit he was wearing but also rubbed any identifying marks from his shoes. The sheer lack of any identifying signs along with Piano Man's inability to communicate has produced a succession of theories as to how he arrived on the Kent coast, from being a Norwegian sailor to a member of a visiting orchestra.

Since his appearance, he has said not a word, and has failed to respond to written messages given to him by hospital staff. Except for one thing. As reported by the Mail & Guardian:

When given a pencil and paper by hospital staff, he drew a grand piano -- and then, when shown a piano at the hospital chapel, he impressed his carers with a remarkable virtuoso performance.

The Independent:

Camera crews from Germany to Japan descended on bemused citizens of the Isle of Sheppey, where Piano Man was found, as news of the talented musician in a wet suit spread around the globe. But despite a number of promising leads, ranging from suggestions that Piano Man was a French street musician to a Czech concert pianist, nothing has come to light which has given the patient a nationality, let alone a name.

A source at the West Kent trust said: "We have discounted a lot of the names and continue to look at those which remain. But there is no obvious lead - we haven't had someone bashing down the door saying, 'This is my son' or 'This is my brother'.

"Given the enormous amount of publicity about Piano Man we think it surprising that someone who knows him has not come forward.

"It is possible that his family lead an isolated existence and have not seen the stories but we have to prepare ourselves for the fact that we may never know who he is and that he may be with us for a long time."

Neither Scotland Yard nor the National Missing Persons Helpline have produced any useful leads.

The Independent adds:

Psychiatrists do not know why the man, who continues to shrink from any stranger, has not spoken a word for four months. Diagnoses of his condition initially focused on post-traumatic stress disorder but it is now thought he may be an autistic savant. Sufferers of the condition can display extraordinary but highly specific talents, such as drawing or mathematics, while at the same time remaining withdrawn or uncommunicative to the point of remaining silent.

The removal of labels from clothing can also be associated with autism.

It seems impossible that someone in the condition described could have wandered far on his own. And its seems unlikely that the universe of apparently autistic young piano virtuosos is very large.

There are parallels to the life of Australian pianist David Helfgott, dramatized in the 1996 movie Shine. Recall also an autistic Holly Hunter in 1993's The Piano. And one is somehow reminded of the bizarre work of Edward Gorey.

My friend, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, famously opined: "How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?"

An improbable hoax, then, since all other explanations are impossible. We will learn -- eventually -- that this young fellow is a performance artist of some sort, who has contrived to pursue his trade while living off the British taxpayer.

Or is he?