Ashley or Mary-Kate?

John Tierney in today's New York Times observes that John Roberts, having been cross-examined many times by the Supreme Court of the United States, is unlikely to be tricked, trapped or guided into saying anything he doesn't intend to say. Least of all by his current interlocutors, "senators posing as legal scholars." Tierney notes:

The only hope for Democrats is to try the tactics used by interrogation pros like Israeli airport screeners and U.S. customs agents. These experts know that a smart criminal will have rehearsed a cover story for, say, what he was doing in London and why he's going to New York.

But if he's asked something unexpected - how he liked the London weather, whether he's planning to visit Times Square - he has to change mental gears. He's apt to exhibit telltale signs of a liar under stress, like gazing upward and to his right as he answers.

The list of suggested questions includes these gems:

If Roe v. Wade were a tree, what kind of tree would it be?

Is there any chance that you could speed up Justice Stevens's retirement by addressing him as "Gramps"?

In your best judgment, did Brad and Jen really just grow apart, or was it Angelina's fault?

From your analysis of constitutional history, would you classify James Madison as a dog person or a cat person?

Would you consider instituting a casual Friday dress policy on the bench?

Would it be a violation of Lois Lane's so-called right to privacy if Superman used his X-ray vision to look through her clothes?

During the announcement of your nomination at the White House, your son distracted the president with an impromptu dance. When you got home that night, what happened to him [the son, not the President]?

When you were a clerk at the Supreme Court, Chief Justice Warren Burger was disliked for his pretentiousness. What nickname did the clerks have for him? Burger King?

When justices have birthday parties, should they invite all the other justices, or can they invite just the ones they like?

Ashley or Mary-Kate?

Your passion for correct grammar and syntax is well known, but you have yet to inform the American people of your position on the serial comma. In the phrase "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," should there be a comma after "liberty"?