Looking for Mr. Darcy

She says:

I don't like weddings. I'm famous for saying, every time the violin group I'm in gears up for playing five hours of Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring at another wedding, that the only difference between a wedding and a funeral is that at a funeral, at least one person is at peace.

In fact, the only thing I really like about weddings is the cake. And there's no reason to get married just for good cake. All you need is some flour and cooking oil and a few other things. I can make my own good cake, and frosting, without all the hassle and uncomfortable shoes.

She says:

But then one surreptitious day, an email found its way to my inbox advertising the eHarmony website offering a free personality profile. I'm gung ho for personality profiles, because I'm always curious to know if I'm insane.

She says:

One guy listed, in his "must haves" and descriptions of who he was looking for, a woman who fit the following bill: not overweight at all, always stylish, agree with traditional gender roles, interested in arts, music, drama, literature. Good with house and family concerns. She must be neat, orderly, feminine, hygienic...the list went on and on. He wanted a Barbie doll.

I closed that match really fast, but found myself thinking that I'd like to meet such a woman myself. It sounds like she'd make a great maid and would be handy to have around to rub my feet after a day of chainsawing fallen trees.

She says:

Don't get me wrong. I'm not down on marriage, and think it's a great institution, kind of like the Smithsonian. It's there if you're interested in going. But you don't have to go if you don't want to. Before you freak out, no, I'm not busy "visiting other museums". I'm just staying "museum" free.

Read the whole thing, HERE.