"The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."


Glenn Reynolds:

Barack Obama:
"Impossible to transcend."

Albert A. Gore, Jr.:
"An incontinent brute."

Rev. Jeremiah Wright:
"God damn the Gentleman Farmer."

Friends of GF's Sons:
"Is that really your dad?"

Kickball Girl:
"Keeping 'em alive until 7:45."

Hired Hand:
"I think . . . we forgot the pheasant."

I'm an
Alcoholic Yeti
in the
TTLB Ecosystem

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The Polk Solution

Following the examples set by President James K. Polk, and his predecessor in office, John Tyler, with respect to the incorporation of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California into the Union, we propose a resolution of the festering problem of illegal immigration. Our solution would also immediately resolve the status of the nearly 11 million persons already illegally resident in the United States.

We propose that the Congress of the United States pass a resolution annexing Mexico, and dividing it up into an appropriate number of states and congressional districts.

Inasmuch as the overwhelming majority of "undocumented" aliens currently resident in the present United States will have come from one or another part of the annexed territory, they would immediately have the status of American citizens. Further, as the Constitution itself prohibits the placing of burdens on migration from one state of the Union to another, moving from, say, the new Commonwealth of Sonora into the State of New Mexico would no longer be a crime.

Problem solved.

You're welcome.

Comments on "The Polk Solution"


Anonymous millard filmore said ... (10:27 AM) : 

Have you ever looked at a map showing the number of Whigs living in the United States based on county? Have you compared it to the results of a presidential election based on a precinct map?


Blogger Faithful Sherpa said ... (2:31 PM) : 

I'd like to cast my vote for GF and HH in '08. Do you also have a proposal for taking care of those pesky canadians and their cheap prescription drugs?


Blogger Hired Hand said ... (6:52 PM) : 


Thank you for the flattering suggestion. A couple of points/questions:

1. Who do you see at the top of the ticket? Because, you know, people only really vote for the name at the top. Furthermore, I'm much more attractive and photogenic than GF. This might pose a problem, since I'm not old enough to be President in 2008.
2. I think we'll just annex Canada too.
3. Regardless, you may send all campaign donations to Americans For A Glib & Superficial Administration, Washington, DC. The USPS will know where to send it.


Blogger Faithful Sherpa said ... (9:35 AM) : 

Dear me, that IS a problem. Your flowing beard must have given the impression of a quiet dignity and wisdom well beyond your years. But surely you can use the GF's lofty government contacts to sort out that little issue. I understand he's got quite a bit of clout.

Bring me back some maple syrup after you round up the snow-mexicans.


Blogger Yeoman said ... (4:01 PM) : 

It is something you are not really supposed to think of, but, in all seriousness, its an interesting counterfactual to wonder how history would have played out had the US simply annexed all of Mexico at the end of the Mexican War.

Lots of other countries would have done that, right or wrong. And the US was having trouble getting out of Mexico, as the Mexican government wouldn't sign a treaty. What if the US had just said, to heck with it, we'll keep it.

I'm not saying that we should have, or that it would have been moral. But history would have worked out quite a bit differently, and I dare say it might have been better for Mexico and the Mexicans, as well as the US, in the long run.


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