"The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."

                --Archilochus

Glenn Reynolds:
"Heh."

Barack Obama:
"Impossible to transcend."

Albert A. Gore, Jr.:
"An incontinent brute."

Rev. Jeremiah Wright:
"God damn the Gentleman Farmer."

Friends of GF's Sons:
"Is that really your dad?"

Kickball Girl:
"Keeping 'em alive until 7:45."

Hired Hand:
"I think . . . we forgot the pheasant."




I'm an
Alcoholic Yeti
in the
TTLB Ecosystem



Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Class of 2010

Beloit College has released its annual "Mindset List" for the class of 2010, which enters college any minute now. Most of those freshman -- including #3 Son -- were born in 1988. Beloit notes that, for them: Billy Carter, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Billy Martin, Andy Gibb, and Secretariat have always been dead.

Here are my favorites from their list of 75 attributes:

2. They have known only two presidents.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.

7. They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up" on a cash register.

11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.
12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.

18. They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means of communication.
19. "Google" has always been a verb.

23. Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.
24. Madden has always been a game, not a Superbowl-winning coach.

26. "Boogers" candy has always been a favorite for grossing out parents.

31. They grew up in mini-vans.
32. Reality shows have always been on television.

34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been represented by two separate yet equally important groups."
35. Young women's fashions have never been concerned with where the waist is.
36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.

40. Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been the subjects of television series.
41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.

53. They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.

56. They have never put their money in a "Savings & Loan."
57. Sara Lee has always made underwear.
58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.

61. Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.
62. Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.

66. Dolphin-free canned tuna has always been on sale.
67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.

74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.
75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

Comments on "The Class of 2010"

 

Blogger Wilhelm said ... (1:21 PM) : 

Sara Lee makes underwear? I've never been completely convinced that they make food. Also, please clarify: is number 3 son going to be an incoming freshman at Beloit College, or an incoming freshman at some other college?

 

Blogger Gentleman Farmer said ... (2:20 PM) : 

Number 3 Son would never attend so wild-eyed a place as Beloit.

 

Anonymous Not Beloit, But '04 said ... (3:37 PM) : 

Curious about what Beloit's staff had to say about the Class of 2004 mindset, I took a look. Regarding those in my graduating year, the following was said:

50. They feel more danger from having sex and being in school, than from possible nuclear war.

SERIOUSLY, GET OUT OF MY HEAD! IT'S LIKE THEY'RE INSIDE MY BRAIN

 

Blogger Handsome Dan said ... (10:03 PM) : 

GF has sons?? That go or went to college?? Impossible!

We all know GF is a celibate monk who converses only with the Lama Himself.

Besides, what woman would have him? Or have his issue, no less?

Boola, boola!

 

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