September 19, 2006

The perenially silly Eugene Robinson begins his column in today's Washington Post thusly:

I wish I could turn to cheerier matters, but I just can't get past this torture issue -- the fact that George W. Bush, the president of the United States of America, persists in demanding that Congress give him the right to torture anyone he considers a "high-value" terrorist suspect. The president of the United States. Interrogation by torture. This just can't be happening.

Aside from refusing utterly to treat a serious topic seriously, Mr. Robinson fails to acknowledge that today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Accordingly, his column ought to have started out:

Arrr, i wish Me could turn t' cheerier matters, but Me just can't get past this hang from the yardarm issue -- the fact that George W. Bush, the president o' the United States o' America, persists in demandin' that Congress gi'e the right t' sink t'Davy Jone's locker anyone considers a "high-'alue" terrorist suspect. The president o' the United States. Interrogation by keelhaul at noon. This just can't be happenin'.

Ye'll ne'er get me buried booty!

That at least sounds serious, compared to the original.

As we did last year, we urge you to don your pirate regalia, put on your black eye patch, and swagger about. Parrot optional; answering the telephone "Ahoy!" mandatory. Tips HERE and HERE, free pirate translator HERE.

[Editor's Note: GF has assured the management and staff that the relevance of the photograph accompanying this post will be obvious to regular G&S readers. He thus expresses his confidence in the high level of cultural literacy -- not to say degeneracy -- of our readership.]