We Have Some Questions

Associated Press reports:

HAMILTON, Ohio (AP) -- A city prosecutor was charged with indecency after a security camera caught him walking around naked in a government building after business hours.

Scott Blauvelt, 35, was arrested Monday and charged with two counts of indecency. He was released from jail to await a hearing in the court where he usually works.

A guard monitoring a security camera spotted a nude man -- whom investigators identified as Blauvelt -- in a building that houses county offices the night of October 5, sheriff's Maj. Anthony Dwyer said. The night before, security video had captured Blauvelt naked in another area of the building, where city offices are located, Dwyer said.

Dwyer said investigators don't know why Blauvelt, who was alone, wasn't wearing clothes. He faces a month in jail and a $250 fine if convicted.

Blauvelt's lawyer, Michael Gmoser, said in a statement Tuesday that his client was seriously injured in a 2005 car accident, suffers from mental illness and is on medication for seizures.

"Scott Blauvelt is an American with a disability," he said.

Why hasn't the guard -- an obvious voyeur -- been charged?

If no one (except that creepy guard) saw Mr. Blauvelt, then how could his mere nakedness be "indecent?"

Now that you bring it up, what part of Mr. Blauvelt's nakedness was indecent? Does he have a particularly alarming patch of long, black hair on his back? Does his nakedness expose an especially well-developed set of man-breasts? Or what?

Exactly what "disability" does Mr. Blauvelt exhibit, aside from an inability to cover his ass while in the office, after hours or not?

We don't understand the reference to "seizures?" Are we to believe that Mr. Blauvelt suffered a seizure, in the course of which he tore off his clothes and meandered down the hallway?

What's with these names? Blauvelt? Gmoser? How do you even pronounce "Gmoser?"

Finally, we demand to know where the YouTube video is.