"The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."

                --Archilochus

Glenn Reynolds:
"Heh."

Barack Obama:
"Impossible to transcend."

Albert A. Gore, Jr.:
"An incontinent brute."

Rev. Jeremiah Wright:
"God damn the Gentleman Farmer."

Friends of GF's Sons:
"Is that really your dad?"

Kickball Girl:
"Keeping 'em alive until 7:45."

Hired Hand:
"I think . . . we forgot the pheasant."




I'm an
Alcoholic Yeti
in the
TTLB Ecosystem



Monday, December 04, 2006

Not Soon Enough

Associated Press headline:

President Carter Talks of Funeral Plans

Sorry, while we wish the ex-President no harm, some headlines write themselves. The story goes on to explain:
Former President Jimmy Carter said Sunday he hopes to be buried in front of his home in Plains, the southwest Georgia town where he and his wife were born.

"Plains is special to us," the 82-year-old said during a three-hour live C-SPAN2 interview. "I could be buried in Arlington Cemetery or wherever I want, but my wife was born here and I was born here."

As a child, Carter briefly lived next door to Rosalynn, and the two began dating in 1945. The couple married the next year and in July celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary.

"Plains is where our hearts have always been," he said.

Carter said there are also plans for a funeral in Washington as well as a brief display of his body in Atlanta.
It's just as well that he plans several public displays, as that will give us an opportunity to make sure the son-of-a-bitch is dead.

Mr. Carter, always in the running for the title of "Worst President of the United States," has long since retired the trophy as "Worst Ex-President." His post White House career has been one long anti-American campaign, as he shuttles between murderous dictators (Castro) and murderous terrorists (Arafat). His anti-Americanism is exceeded only by his implacable opposition to Israel, a careless contempt which we suppose is explicable as merely derivative of his desire to bathe in the praise of anyone and everyone who hates America.

Any person of merely ordinary self-regard would promptly have understood that he was being exploited by America's enemies not because of his wise and penetrating political insights, but simply because an ex-President makes a great backdrop for trashing America. Jimmy seems actually to believe they think he's a great guy. He doesn't understand that the mean girls are making fun of him behind his back.

Now we learn that he'd like to be buried in his front yard, possibly in the begonia bed. Zoning and public-health questions aside, this seems a bit odd, rather like poor Jeremy Bentham, who reposes in the lobby of University College, London. And think of the security issues: Such a shrine will inevitibly become a place of holy pilgrimage for terrorists, washed-up dictators, international thugs, UN anti-Semites, African kleptocrats, and the like. We leave it to others to imagine how to stock the gift shop (little suicide-bomber dolls? a photographic collage of the American hostages mixed in with Jimmy in his cardigan?).

We shudder.

Comments on "Not Soon Enough"

 

Blogger Almost Ignatius J. said ... (12:17 PM) : 

so much hatred. how have you managed to escape a heart attack?

 

Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said ... (12:22 PM) : 

Give the man credit for leading what is very likely to be the second (and likely final) campaign to eradicate a disease from the world -- in this case guinea worm. It's a really, really outstanding achievement.

 

Blogger Gentleman Farmer said ... (2:37 PM) : 

Mr. Carter is certainly to be commended for directing his staff to use other people's money to eradicate this disgusting parasite. I'm not sure that it's subject to elimination in the same sense that smallpox has been. Of course, it's only a matter of time before smallpox is used as a weapon, so eradication of the worm would be unique.

[BTW - here's a thought: I'm probably immune to smallpox. How about you?]

 

Blogger Village Idiot said ... (2:39 PM) : 

It's the bourbon, IAJ, it's the bourbon.

 

Anonymous 'chesty' said ... (3:03 PM) : 

man, i totally know what you mean. i'm so sick and tired of these freedom hating weenies that think "dialogue" is some sort of legitimate method for overcoming "conflict". let's bury them all in front of their childhood houses. if there's one thing we've learned from the last 50 years its that full scale military invasion is the only surefire way to decisively defeat america's enemies. anything short of that is for suckers.

 

Blogger Almost Ignatius J. said ... (4:11 PM) : 

well done VI. i'll start this evening.

 

Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said ... (9:20 AM) : 

I'm sorry to report that smallpox vaccination is only fully effective for about 5 years, with some remaining protection lasting 10-15 years. So I'm afraid you're in the same boat with us young'ns.

 

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