Life Just Isn't That Complicated

New Book at Amazon!

Frank J. Fleming's "Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything."

Amazon describes it thusly:

It's hard to remember the dark days before 2008. It was a time of hatred, racism, violence, obese children, war, untaxed rich people, and incandescent light bulbs -- perhaps the worst days we had ever seen. And at the heart of it all was a thuggish, thoughtless man, George W. Bush, who lashed out angrily at whatever he didn't understand -- and he understood so very little. Then there was that laugh of his -- that horrible snicker that mocked everything intelligent and nuanced. Also, he looked like a chimp.

It seemed like the end for the United States of America. We would crumble in the hands of vicious, superstitious dimwits determined to hunt "ter'ists" or other figments of Bush's rotten mind. There was nothing left to do but head to Whole Foods to prepare our organic, sustainable, fair-trade last meal as the country ended around us. Despair had overtaken us, and we wondered aloud whether we could ever feel hope again.

And then a man emerged who firmly answered, "Yes we can!"

Oh, but Barack Obama was no mere man. He was a paragon of intelligence and civilized society. A savior to the world's depressed. A lightbringer. A genius thinking thoughts the common man could never hope to comprehend. And his words -- his beautiful words read from crystal panes -- reached down to our souls and told us all would be well. With the simple act of casting a ballot for Barack Obama, we could make the world an immeasurably better place -- a world of peace, of love, of understanding, of unicorns, of rainbows, of expanded entitlements. This was his promise. And now, having had him as president for more than two years, we can say without reservation that he has delivered all his promises and more and is the best president this country -- or any country -- has ever had or could even imagine to have.

I am the 99%

"I have a pair of handcuffs, and I know how to use them."

Plainly this fellow has never actually met any Oakland cops. And he ought to tell his mom that one of the bulbs in the ceiling fixture needs replacement.

90% of "Occupy London" Tents are Empty at Night

Oh, snap!

You know those crime-scene photos? Yeah, well, about those . . . .

Remember when one demonstration of intelligence involved the ability to understand and manipulate analogies? Ok. Try this one:

Using a crayon to draw a mustache on Uncle Fred in an old picture is to Photoshop, is as Photoshop is to . . . this:

Rendering Synthetic Objects into Legacy Photographs from Kevin Karsch on Vimeo.

More HERE.

Canary. Coal mine. Anderson Cooper. Courtney Stodden. That is all.

Inside Journalism

Overpaying for Civilization

When Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes delivered himself of his famous bon mot, "taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society," the price tag for civilization stood at something like 4% of gross domestic product.

Today that bill is more like 24%.

We may want to consider the possibility that we're overpaying for civilization.

Johnny Depp meets Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

My first encounter with Hunter S. Thompson was when I was invited to the Woody Creek Tavern in Colorado in December 1994. Someone said, "Why don’t you come down, and you and Hunter will have a drink." So I went down to Woody Creek Tavern, and I’m sitting way in the back of the place against the wall, looking at the front door about 50 yards away. Suddenly I see the door spring open, and I see sparks! I realized there was a large-ish, three-foot cattle prod and a Taser gun, and the sea began to part—people were leaping and hurling themselves out of the path of the mayhem that was approaching—and I heard the voice first say, "Out of my way, you bastards!" He was using them as "just-in-case weapons," but it was a very economical way for him to clear the path. He made the Red Sea part, arrived at my table, and said, "How are you? My name is Hunter."

From The Daily Beast.

In a nutshell

Branford Marsalis is the real deal.  Here -- seemingly off the top of his head -- he succinctly explains the nature of the swamp we've wandered into.

Not dead!

Out here in beautiful Fauquier County, we've been having some connectivity issues. We're not connected to the inter-tubes by anything so ordinary and mundane as a wire or fiber-optic cable. Noooooo! Instead, there's a cable from Ashburn, microwave to an undisclosed location, and last-mile transmission over radio frequencies usable only because the FCC is run by idiots. We're not making this up.

So let's return to basics.  Via xkcd.

Oh no! Wolves!

Wherein we learn that Government regulations create jobs, because SOMEBODY has to do the paperwork

No, really. I'm not making this up. Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison thinks new regulations create new jobs, because businesses need to hire people to do the work necessary to comply with the new regulations.  It's not a bug, it's a feature!

So here's our Jobs Plan: According to Democrats, the Federal Government can order you to buy something you don't want -- that's what the "individual mandate" in Obamacare is all about. So let's just pass a law requiring all employers to hire somebody who's unemployed. How simple is that? For every 10 people a business now employs, it's required to hire one new person tomorrow. Unemployment solved.

I think we're done here.

It's never a good sign . . .

. . . when they start making fun of you. Try to imagine a similar parody in the Spring of 2008, poking fun at the Sun King's narcissistic, over-the-top, null-content rhetoric. Not funny. Then, our media was literally enthralled, atwitter with leg tingles. Now the image of the President wandering the White House in a bathrobe is funny.

All these things I have kept. What am I still lacking?

Occupy Atlanta: Creepy, Tovarisch, Creepy

How long do you suppose it takes these guys to order pizza?

"Off the stove, furball." "Stove? What stove?"

This is a little confusing, what with the human speaking Russian while the cat responds in English.

We're mad as Hell, but have no idea why

And, for good measure, we don't want any damn media attention!

Doesn't inappropriate response to external stimuli constitute a diagnosable mental illness?

Ross Capicchioni

Join us afterwards at Starbucks

"Mommy! He hit me!"

A quarter-century ago, while a student at Tufts, Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown posed for a centerfold in Cosmopolitan Magazine to help pay the rent. At Tuesday's candidates' debate, his Democratic challenger, Elizabeth Warren, was asked about this (presumably because there's nothing more important to talk about in Massachusetts), and responded, "I didn't take my clothes off" to pay for school.

I guess that's good to know, but we'd have been more impressed if her response had been along the lines of, "Really? That's what you want to talk about?" But I digress.

Yesterday morning, appearing on a radio show, Senator Brown was asked if he had a response. He did: "Thank God!"

Those of you who grew up with a little sister know what happened next:

"Sen. Brown’s comments are the kind of thing you would expect to hear in a frat house, not a race for US Senate,” Clare Kelly, executive director of the Massachusetts Democratic Party, said in a statement. “Scott Brown’s comments send a terrible message that even accomplished women who are held in the highest esteem can be laughingly dismissed based on their looks."

Get it? It's serious political discourse to sneer at the fact that your opponent was buff enough to get paid for a cheesecake photo back when we were all young, but if he flicks your nose in response he's a brute, and should be sent to his room.

We're waiting for some intrepid reporter for the Boston Globe to ask Ms. Warren if, back in the day, she looked.

Steve Jobs

There are few individuals about whom it can be said, without fear of contradiction, "he changed your life."

We're Shocked

So we see today in the Washington Post that its editors have their panties twisted up into a truly uncomfortable bunch over the fact that Governor Rick Perry has some connection to a hunting camp that, sometime or other, was known by a "racially insensitive" name.

Meanwhile, the front page of their sports section includes the headline, "Torain and the Defense Come Through as Redskins Improve to 3-1."

But, then again, I guess black folks constitute a more important OAG ("Official Aggrieved Group") than do Native Americans.

Just sayin'.

Attempted Murder

Via that girl who reads all them books.

When cats go undercover