"It Went Up in the Woods!"

"On the evening of Tuesday, March 22, 2011 while driving down Golden Valley Church Road I and a friend Carolyn Wright observed the Big-Foot Knobby or one similar to it cross the road in front of the truck we were in and run into the woods. It came from out of the field from the direction of the creek and we later took photos of feet prints in a freshly plowed field. I jumped from the truck and took this video of it as it crossed the road in front of us. At one point in the video it made a snarling growling sound and looked back at me. I also shot the other video posted with this one while I and my friend Carolyn Wright were trying to see where it went to. I heard it breaking branches as it ran out of my sight into very thick brush. If you listen to the other video you can hear me and my friend talking about what just happened in front of us. You can watch and listen to me and my friend talking in the below video."

Hey! We report, you decide. You'd think we'd have better video than this, it being 2011 and all that. Maybe Bigfoot transmits brain waves that interfere with the iPhone.

The late Mitch Hedberg provides one plausible explanation:

This is NOT the Gentleman Farmer . . . .

. . . . but it could be.

What WOULD We Do Without the Internet?

So this guy pulls into a parking garage . . . . .

Grownups: Go Away

Why We Love The Interwebs

Once upon a time, in a Galaxy far far away, convenience stores did not have surveillance cameras.  Time passed, man advanced, and lo! they did!  Then they were connected to VHS recorders.  Then they were connected to digital recorders.  And then . . . and then . . . the video could be edited, uploaded to YouTube, and blasted through cyberspace.

Now that would have been enough for your humble and obedient servant but, as has ever been the case, we did not anticipate the onward march of technology, and the sketchy snarky sense of humor of the technologically literate.  The raw surveillance footage was funny, uploaded to You Tube it was hilarious, but processed, manipulated, edited and with a sound track added, we have genius. Ladies and Gentlemen, we present for your entertainment the silent film, "Drunkest Guy Ever: Larry Goes to the Market":

Not Funny

Don't you ever do this. It would be mean. It makes a big mess, and you know damned well you won't be the one to clean it up. And it's childish, and not funny at all.

Today's Quiz

Imagine you're the sort of lunatic who goes nuts when the cleaners loses your pants. Pretend you're so far out of touch with reality that you actually sue the store for $54 million, even after they find your damned pants. Now, here's our question: What do you do after the judge hearing your case throws you out of court?

Answer:

A. Apologize to the nice Korean lady behind the counter;
B. Apologize to the Judge and claim you were eating too much junk food;
C. Go buy a new pair of pants;
D. File a motion to reconsider.

Well, since you're reading it here, I guess you already know.

Mark Your Calendar