Captain! We're Trapped in the Tholian Web!

This is so not cool.

The culturally impaired may wish to look HERE.

Who Knew?

That Iran's First Lady, Ms. Ahmadinejad, was such a babe? Story HERE, complete with photo. Don't lie, you'd totally hit that.

Treatment of Post-Vacation Depression

Your humble proprietor has now himself returned to the land of reasonable connection to the InterWebs. Having spent a week at Punta Cana in the Republica Dominicana, we confess that we were able to conduct substantial research into this medication and its effects.

depression_medication_1.wmv

Hat tip to Uncle Michael, whose degeneracy only increases with age.

And We're Back

...and jetlagged, and exhausted from the complicated and demeaning ordeal that is now domestic air travel. No word yet from the Gentleman Farmer, who returns sometime tonight with Dengue Fever and a pocket full of pesos.

It was worth it, though, as your faithful contributor was able to spend an incredible week relaxing, reading, and grunting contentedly on the shores of Canandaigua Lake in New York:


I wonder if the Gentleman Farmer would have preferred the vacation week that I had with Kickball Girl's family: we ate steak, shot skeet, read books, and slept. Like many trips I've had with those folks, it was best described as something of a fantasy camp for the Gentleman Farmer. On a related note, we're now taking cheeky pseudonym suggestions for Kickball Girl and her ilk.

Other observations:
1. The wines of western New York are not as good as those of northern California.
2. Plainsong, by Kent Haruf, is an excellent novel, and easily the best I've read featuring calf-birthing.
3. Soft-serve ice cream can be sublime.
4. Mosquitoes like me.
5. Showering is nice, but bathing in 429 billion gallons of water can be much, much nicer.

You'd think that traveling to such far-flung places (you know, those without internet) would indicate otherwise, but your contributors were, in fact, a good 1400 miles closer to one another than normal. Back off, GF - yer crowdin' me.

Robot Post Week: For Your Procrastination

I work in second-tier client support. This means I don't actually have to SPEAK to clients very often, but it does mean I get my fair share of idiot questions. Of course, stupid questions aren't limited to those from clients. With that in mind, I find Not Always Right extremely freaking funny, for content like this:

(At the Dollar Store in Milford, CT):
(I’m shopping in the dollar store, fully clothed in my Taco Bell uniform. I even have the hat on, too.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, do you work here?”

Me: “Does it LOOK like I work here?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh…well, do you know how much this is?”

Me: “It’s a dollar.”

Customer: “How did you know that if you didn’t work here?”

Me: “Lady, do you have ANY idea where you are right now? You are in a dollar store. Do you know what that means?”

Customer: “That’s impossible.”

Me: “…what?”

Customer: “This store doesn’t sell dollars.”

Coming in July

"According to the rules the minimum weight of the wife is 49 kilos. If it is less, the wife will be burdened with such a heavy rucksack that the total weight is 49 kilos. Generally the best wife is the wife of one’s own, all the more if she is harmonious, gentle and able to keep her balance while riding on the shoulders of her man."

Less than six months to go to the 13th Annual Wife Carrying World Championships.

D. B. Cooper

This is one of those things that haunts my imagination, the way some people fantasize about winning the lottery. Imagine hijacking an airliner, demanding and receiving $200,000 in ransom, and then parachuting out of the plane and vanishing into the woods in Washington State. More than 35 years later, it remains the FBI's only open hijacking case. But the Washington Post reports that there's new activity. And HERE's the FBI's release.

Where in the World . . . .

. . . . is the Gentleman Farmer?

No, he's not just escaped from Alcatraz, although he was looking at it only yesterday. We've now returned from a trip to the left coast, on the occasion of #1 Son unaccountably attaining the age of 25 (years, that is).

We rode this streetcar (no, you twit, not one like this one, this one):

If you know anything about SF's streetcars, this is one of those from Milan. I'm a sucker for this sort of thing.

We Want One

Steering is said to be "a little tricky." More HERE and HERE.

Are There Bathrooms?

The Daily Telegraph reports on a poll in which over 1,000 British tourists were asked to name the ten most disappointing tourist attractions. Guess which one came out on top, described as being "frustratingly overcrowded and overpriced?"



While you're pondering that, here's the rest of the list:

2) The Louvre (Mona Lisa)
3) Times Square
4) Las Ramblas, Spain
5) Statue of Liberty
6) Spanish Steps, Rome
7) The White House
8) The Pyramids, Egypt
9) The Brandenburg Gate, Germany
10) The Leaning Tower of Pisa

One wonders what the Brits were hoping to find in Times Square, but didn't.

There's a separate list of disappointing tourist spots in Britain itself, as well as a "will not disappoint" list, topped by Alnwick Castle (which [By Gad!] is still owned by the Percy's):