Mark 13:33-37

Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.

For the Son of Man is as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch.

Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cockcrowing, or in the morning: Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping.

And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch.

Caturday Morning

From Kickball Girl, who really oughtn't to have this much time on her hands.

A Woman's Right to Shoes

The Daily Mail reports:

Drunk women who stagger about in high heels are to be protected - at public expense - from twisting their ankles.

They will be handed flip-flops to wear by police outside nightclubs as they wend their way home.

The scheme is part of a £30,000 drive by police and councillors to prevent 'alcohol-related harm'.

It has been prompted by fears that women wearing stilettos or similar footwear could tumble over.

Officials also claim that female revellers are at risk of cutting the soles of their feet by walking barefoot.

The flip-flops will be given to anyone whose footwear is 'uncomfortable, inappropriate or soiled' and will be paid for with a Home Office grant.

The rubber shoes, which carry printed messages about safe drinking, will also be available free from the council's 'Safe Bus' on the harbourside.

The force has already been handing out condoms and sexual health advice to revellers, and ordered drunken men who urinate in the street to clean up their own mess with a mop and bucket.

Inspector Adrian Leisk, from Safer Communities Torbay, said: 'Sometimes people get drunk and you see them carrying footwear which is inappropriate.

'The emphasis is on providing replacement footwear for people to get home in, should they find their footwear uncomfortable, inappropriate or soiled.

Operators are Standing By

They most certainly are; they most certainly are.

Thanksgiving

The uniquely American holiday. The time for green-bean casserole with the crunchy canned onions on top, mashed sweet potatoes with mini-marshmallows, pumpkin pie, and flaming oil next to the propane tank.

Wait, what?

Getaway Day

Today is the busiest travel day of the year. Good luck.

"I think more and more men are becoming interested in bras."

From the Divine Ms. Althouse.

Best comment: "Hellfire, I need a push-up just to hide my extra 9mm clips in my decolletage!"

Let Us All Join Hands in Grateful Thanksgiving

Keep your gun clean, lay in extra ammunition, check your stockpile of canned goods down on the shelves in the basement, and refill those big blue barrels with fresh water and a few drops of bleach.

"There is nothing to be served by dressing up as a racist stereotype," she said.

It's a Girl!

Gender Analyzer describes itself thusly:

We created GenderAnalyzer out of curiosity and fun. It uses Artificial Intelligence to determine if a homepage is written by a man or woman. Behind the scene, a text classifier hosted over at uClassify.com has been trained on blogs written by men and women. In our lab it seems to works pretty well, we want to see how it performs on the web! We hope you like it!

So we thought we'd give it a try. Drudge Report, for example, is rightly identified as being written by a man, as is Instapundit. The Divine Ms. Althouse is found to be a woman, as is Miss Julie.

Now the analysis is based entirely upon the text of the blog itself. That presumably means that data respecting subjects, vocabulary, syntax and the like are collected and compared to writing known to be by a man or instead by a woman. The software doesn't know whether you're a boy or a girl, it can only conclude that you write like a boy, or you write like a girl.

It is perhaps then not surprising that the program misidentifies certain sites -- such as the radical feminist Firedoglake (written mostly by the adorable Jane Hamsher)-- as being almost certainly written by a man.

And we're proud to report that Gender Analyzer concludes with great confidence that Glib & Superficial is written by a woman.

The Perfect Wing Man

Mullahs of Chaste Nudity

“Generally we let them get on with it,” said a spokesman for the local gendarmerie. “But when there are complaints about improper behaviour, we have to act.”

Damned fundamentalists. Read more from The Times (the real one, you twit).

Choice

Don't miss yesterday's piece in the Washington Post entitled, "A Hard Choice," which centers on the experiences of Lesley Wojick, a 24-year-old, second-year medical student.

Excerpts:

Audrey Lance, a medical student at George Washington University who wanted to be an obstetrician, said her summer observing abortions at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center and a clinic in Annapolis was life-changing.

"Patients were so grateful," said Lance, who had only vague interest in abortion until she learned about the shortage of providers. "It just became very clear to me that this was where I was needed."

[snip]

A third patient, a 23-year-old college student wearing red high heels, had become pregnant because the patch she used as birth control kept falling off. She didn't realize she was pregnant at first. Now she needed a second-term abortion. Lesley was struck by how resolute the young woman was. She was earning a degree, and said she couldn't care for a child if she wanted to achieve her goal. She was scheduled for the procedure for the following morning.

Lesley was free early the next morning and phoned the doctor performing the abortion to ask if she could attend. The doctor hesitated, according to Lesley.

Are you sure? the doctor asked. It's really hard to watch.

Yes, Lesley answered, she was sure.

The next morning, Lesley arrived at 7:30. The woman with the red heels asked for a printout of her ultrasound and wanted to know the sex of the 14-week-old fetus. It couldn't be determined.

This time, the procedure took 10 minutes instead of five. The dilator was bigger; there was more tissue to remove; and the patient, although sedated, was awake and moving with discomfort. Lesley watched as the doctor counted the parts of the fetus, and, to her surprise, she didn't find it jarring. To her, the parts appeared doll-like.

"It was definitely gruesome," she said. "You could make out what a fetus could look like, tiny feet, lungs, but it didn't look like a person." She knew this abortion was an act that her friend Litty considered tantamount to murder. She herself expected to be very upset. She'd felt that way at her first autopsy, that of a teenage boy who'd shot himself in the head. For weeks, she could not shake the image of the boy. But this was different. She didn't regard the fetus as a person yet. She said she was happy to help the woman: "I feel like I was giving [her] a new lease" on life.

Hear Now The News

We're confident we've not seen a headline quite like this one before: "Arkansas Man Sues McDonald's Over Nude Photos of his Wife."

The Government We Deserve?

This is a joke, right?

Caturday Morning

In Which We Welcome Our New Feline Masters

Economic Stimulus

Interesting.

National Ammo Day

We couldn't find a Hallmark card for the occasion, but today is National Ammo Day. So trot on down to your local gun shop or WalMart, and pick up at least 100 rounds. Gift wrapping optional.

Low Flying Cows

Who Says We Got No Culture?

We Want One

Available HERE.

H/T to The Little Dutch Girl.

Embarrassing E-Mails

"Hey punkin pie, how is Arizona??? I really miss you punkin pie, and I hope you're having fun at your conference because I've cried myself to sleep every night this week because I can't sleep without my punkin. I've been saving my tears in an eyedropper, and I'm going to put it on a pendant and give it to you when you get back so that you'll always know how much I love you. I don't know if your phone is dead or what, because you haven't been answering, but I will call you again at 5:00 AM because I have to hear your voice or I think I might die."

More HERE.

The Real Suicide of the West

Bailout

When your boat starts taking on water, you bail it out.

But what if the water's coming in faster than you can bail? You dive into the water and swim for shore, because the damned boat is going to sink no matter what you do: "Why Bankruptcy Is the Best Option for GM."

Voters Informed by the Media

They don't know: which party controls Congress, or who Barney Frank, Harry Reid, or Nancy Pelosi are.

They do know: The campaign spent $150,000 on clothes for Sarah, and that her daughter is pregnant.

If they simply knew nothing, then they'd be idiots. But they do have selective knowledge, and that makes them useful idiots.

Matthew 25: 14 - 30

"For it is just like a man about to go on a journey, who called his own slaves and entrusted his possessions to them. To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey.

"Immediately the one who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and gained five more talents. In the same manner the one who had received the two talents gained two more.

"But he who received the one talent went away, and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

"Now after a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them.

"The one who had received the five talents came up and brought five more talents, saying, 'Master, you entrusted five talents to me. See, I have gained five more talents.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.'

"Also the one who had received the two talents came up and said, 'Master, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more talents.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.'

"And the one also who had received the one talent came up and said, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you scattered no seed. And I was afraid, and went away and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.'

"But his master answered and said to him, 'You wicked, lazy slave, you knew that I reap where I did not sow and gather where I scattered no seed. Then you ought to have put my money in the bank, and on my arrival I would have received my money back with interest. Therefore take away the talent from him, and give it to the one who has the ten talents.'

"For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away.

"Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Gun Control III

Caturday Morning

Breaking News

"International Con Man Barack Obama Leaves
U.S. With $85 Million In Campaign Fundraising"

Developing . . . .

If The Matrix Ran on Windows XP . . . .

Universal Suffrage

You Think?

"I think I have said too much."

Things You Should Not Do, # 47

"Then I began fiddling with a lighter my dad left in there and suddenly there was this big orange whoosh! of flame. I woke up outside with my clothes burned off me and smelling like a barbecue."

Veterans Day

G&S Likes Taylor Swift

Even if she is a blonde.

Unashamed

Matthew 25: 1-13

Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight there was a cry made, "Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him."

Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said unto the wise, "Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out." But the wise answered, saying, "Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves."

And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, "Lord, Lord, open to us."

But he answered and said, "Verily I say unto you, I know you not.

"Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh."

Back to Basics

We know that some of you have retreated into protective shells since Tuesday's Transfiguration. And we cannot blame the faithful for averting their eyes from unwholesome things.

The problem with democracy and universal suffrage, when supported by a massive State apparatus, is that it provides a means for the boobs to vote themselves bread and circuses: "... the worship of Jackals by Jackasses," as Mencken put it.

We appear to have reached the State where there is a majority of the timid, the foolish, and the just plain lazy who would prefer to shelter themselves under the great umbrella of Government than to bear the consequences of their jackassary. There is no distinction in this respect between the welfare mother who can't quite figure out where those babies come from, and the investment banker who's mystified at where those losses came from. Both are inclined to attribute their problem to bad luck, and are never shy to petition their Government to set things aright.

Which brings us to the future. The Llama Butchers suggest that "it's time to clean house in the GOP:"

First, get rid of the creepy (Larry Craig) and the corrupt: (e.g., Ted Stevens). Second, ignore calls to dump the religious Right. Attacking the base will fracture the party. Third, compromise works as a strategy as long as it advances the agenda. Compromise for the sake of "bipartisanship" alone is worthless. Fourth, the Democrats are playing hardball, and play to win. They will use Republican moderates to block the agenda in the name of "saving the center" (e.g., the so-called Gang of 14). Now that hard-Lefties are ascendant, they will not give a damn about the center. Fifth, the details matter. The Dems had a hell of a ground game and anyone who ignores it does so at their peril. Sixth, the media will love a Republican as long as he attacks his own party. When given the choice between a "maverick" and a real Lefty, the Lefty wins every time. Finally, ideology matters. The conservative movement is about smaller government, protection of human life from conception to natural death, empowering people to rely on themselves, belief in American exceptionalism, support for capitalism, low taxes, a strong military to defend us in a dangerous world, and a judiciary that will not legislate from the bench. Get back to the basics.

Caturday Morning

Your Tax Dollars at Work

If only I believed that all of my tax dollars were spent on way cool stuff like this F-16:

Reports From Downballot

Bacon Wins Over Fries in Tasty Colorado Race (AP)

Change You Can Believe In

44

In the City of Brotherly Love . . .

. . . it's like this:

Political Speech, Pornography, Six of One . . . .

More HERE.

Over? Did You Say Over!? Nothing is Over Until We Decide it Is!

Stand! Stand, Men of the West!

Nobody Expects the Mormon Inquisition

This is pretty inflammatory even for Californistan:

Don't Blame Me, I Voted for McCain

The New Era

Bill Kristol:

Barack Obama will probably win the 2008 presidential election. If he does, we conservatives will greet the news with our usual resolute stoicism or cheerful fatalism. Being conservative means never being too surprised by disappointment.

Professor Bainbridge:

Piffle. I plan on throwing a major hissy fit, followed by a bender of historic proportions.

For ourselves, if The Chosen One is indeed to be President, we hope for substantial Democrat gains in the House, and 60 or more Democrat senators. We hope for abortion and infanticide on demand, Government-rationed health care, incentive-killing taxes, expanded bureaucracy, a new Federal police force, and tight restrictions of broadcast, cable and internet speech, all things promised by Obama.

We plan to install a hand-pump on the well and stockpile firewood, tuna fish, Bourbon, Klondike Bars and ammunition. Our judgment is that the patient must become far sicker before becoming willing to take the cure.

But that's just us. Perhaps our children will look back with respectful reverence on Annus Unus. In any event, enjoy the crisp Fall weather of the remainder of Brumaire.

"I'm John McCain, and I Approved This Message"

Investigative Reporting

The Associated Press has pushed a piece in which they catalog and deplore political "dirty tricks" this campaign cycle. Guess which party has committed all of them.

Free Market at Work

We don't normally post classified advertisements, but this one caught our eye:

Wife for sale. Model 1983, good condition. Full option, nice suspensions, spacious boot, second owner.

Price is negotiable, comes with three-year-old and five-year-old accessories. Seriousness demanded.

Sounds Uncomfortable

"Teen Pregnancy Linked to Sex on TV"

Speaking of Indicators

We're all too familiar with the Dow Jones Industrial Index, the Standard & Poor's 500 Index, and so on and so forth: the Misery Index, the Index of Consumer Confidence, the Index of Leading Economic Indicators. The list seems endless.

Today we report that the Rapture Index has climbed one point, to 159, just off its 2008 low of 158, and seeming not to threaten its 2008 high of 170.

More HERE.

Pop Quiz!

Of course it's a goat, you dimwit. Even you suburban morons know that. But the question of the day is: Just which goat is this, and what is it's claim to fame?

Think on it a while, before going HERE and HERE.

Is This a Great Country, or What?

Say What?

What is a "civilian security force," and where would The Chosen One get half a trillion dollars (the Pentagon's budget) to pay for it? Is he talking about an enormous Federal police force? Or are we just -- as usual -- making stuff up that sounds good?

SNL

The real one is prettier.

Matthew 23: 1-12

Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, saying:

"The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses; therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them.

"They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger. But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments. They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men.

"But do not be called Rabbi; for One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers. Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ.

"But the greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted."

Damn!

Here's a real knee-slapper: posting the addresses (with pics) of homes displaying Republican campaign signs.

If something like that happens out here in Fauquier County, I'll post how it comes out.

Caturday Morning