Hindsight

The good people of Franklin County, Ohio, have a new courthouse, which opened for business this past Monday. One new tenant -- Court of Common Pleas Judge Julie Lynch -- is complaining about the central staircase in the lobby. The staircase, you see, has clear risers (you know, the vertical pieces between the steps that you stub your toe on). Now "floating" stairs with no risers at all are hardly some great grotesque innovation; they've been around for years.

But apparently the first thing that popped into the mind of Judge Julie when she first beheld the stairs was . . . wait for it . . . "guys can look up my dress." Well, sure. We guess that's so, although we can't say that it's the first thing that would pop into our heads. And we assume this also means that Judge Julie has never herself perched on a bar stool wearing her little black dress.

In the interest of full disclosure, we confess that we're neither a girl, nor have we ever even played one on TV. It could be that the average woman spends a good deal of her day carefully scanning her surroundings, seeking to detect occasions for guys looking up her skirt. But we doubt it.

It's clear that Judge Julie thinks differently, since her only explanation for this horror is that it had to have been designed by men, which reasoning carries with it the implicit assumption that any woman would immediately think "up skirt!" But that seems to us a bit inconsistent with the steps that have been taken pending a permanent fix: court security officers now warn all women before they take the offending steps.

Why We Love Paul Krugman

Paul Krugman, New York Times columnist and winner of the 2008 Nobel Prize in Economics (for work having nothing at all to do with the topics upon which he opines) on January 28:

I don’t know anything [about Egypt], have no expertise, haven’t even ever looked at the economic situation. Hence, no posting. If there comes a point when I have something to say, I will.

Paul must have been terrifically busy in the week after he posted that, because by last Sunday, February 6, he had it all figured out:

The consequences of this food crisis go far beyond economics. After all, the big question about uprisings against corrupt and oppressive regimes in the Middle East isn’t so much why they’re happening as why they’re happening now. And there’s little question that sky-high food prices have been an important trigger for popular rage.

And the cause of the "food crisis?" Why, global warming, of course.

Ridiculous

Thoughts on the mental state and motivation of Jared Loughner offered HERE.  For several reasons, this fellow's observations should be ignored:

• He's a clinical psychiatrist with 30 years of experience, and thus entitled to an opinion;
• His short article never once mentions Sarah Palin, and so is instantly irrelevant;
• He uses bullet points, and so is plainly part of the problem.

The New Nobility

In the mid-1960s eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes decamped from his Los Angeles haunts and took up residence on the top floor of the Desert Inn hotel in Las Vegas.  A few weeks later the mob-connected manager of the hotel, Moe Dalitz, insisted that Hughes move out.  Hughes bought the hotel.  In the days before streaming video, cable television or even the VCR, it irritated Hughes that the local television station, KLAS, channel 8, not only didn't broadcast the kind of movies he liked, but was off the air at night, when Howard was often up and about.  So he bought the television station, kept it on-air all night long, and dictated what movies it would broadcast.  The bizarre story that he dictated the repeated broadcast of his favorite movie, Ice Station Zebra, is true.

Of course that sort of behavior is self-indulgent and narcissistic to the point of diagnosable insanity.  But, at the end of the day, it was Howard's hotel and Howard's money and Howard's television station, so he could do with them pretty much as he pleased.

These days, when a billion dollars isn't what it used to be, it's better to have power than money.  Power is inflation-proof.  If money is necessary, well, then, there's lots of other people's money lying around for power to command.

Bernie Sanders is a United States Senator from the State of Vermont.  Vermont, as you may know, only became a state because New Hampshire and New York couldn't work out their border dispute, but decided that the whole thing wasn't worth fighting over.  The original 13 united States had been colonies, with governments and suchlike trappings.  Vermont, in contrast, was a make-believe state, founded on the twin principles of expediency and disinterest.

And so in the Great Council of Nobles that is the United States Senate, Bernie may not be Barbara, Grand Duchess of California, or Harry, Margrave of Nevada, but he's certainly on a par with, say, a Baronet of Pomerania and Livonia.  And it seems that Baronet Bernie doesn't like what might be broadcast on his favorite station.  Unlike the eccentric Howard Hughes, Bernie doesn't want Ice Station Zebra available whenever he wants it, and, also unlike Howard, Bernie doesn't propose to use his own money:

"If there is a silver lining in the action of MSNBC against Keith Olbermann, it is that people will now pay more attention to the political role of corporate media in America.  While commentators on Fox and right-wing radio have the backing of Rupert Murdoch, a major Republican contributor, and other conservative corporations, progressives understand that their position is extremely vulnerable.  Keith Olbermann was suspended by General Electric’s MSNBC for a bogus reason.  What will prevent the same thing from happening to Rachel Maddow, Ed Schultz and other progressives?

“General Electric, NBC’s parent, is one of the largest corporations in the world with an anti-labor history of outsourcing jobs and with financial links to military and nuclear power industries. Surely we understand that GE is not going to provide the same backing for MSNBC commentators that Rupert Murdoch provides for his mouthpieces at Fox News.

“What has not gotten a lot of attention in the midst of this controversy is that GE’s NBC Universal, one of the largest media conglomerates in the country, is in the process of merging with Comcast, the largest cable television provider in America. The new head of that company would be Stephen B. Burke, Comcast’s chief operating officer and a “Bush Ranger” who raised at least $200,000 for the 2004 reelection campaign of President George W. Bush.

“As Vermont’s senator, I intend to do all that I can do to stop this merger.  There already is far too much media concentration in this country. We need more diversity. We need more local ownership. We need more viewpoints.  We do not need another media giant run by a Republican supporter of George W. Bush.  That is the lesson we should learn from the Keith Olbermann suspension.”

So welcome to 21st Century America, fellow commoners, and don't forget to tug that forelock if you encounter Lord Bernie, Viscount of Vermont and Margrave of Montpelier.

Hail to the Victors!

We have seen the future, and we are screwed. When real folks have to walk into real voting booths in order to exercise their franchise, we still have felons votin and people voting twice, not to mention the all-important Vote of the Living Dead.

Last week the District of Columbia Board of Elections & Ethics opened up its online voting site for a trial run. A sort of "let's see what happens" kind of test period, scheduled to last two weeks. A few days later they prematurely ended their cutting-edge experiment. It seems that by Friday, every time a pretend voter pretended to cast a pretend vote, the software played the Michigan Fight Song. Stating the obvious, a concerned non-profit "election integrity" organization explained: "The test pilot was apparently attacked successfully shortly after it began by a team of academic experts led by Prof. J. Alex Halderman at the University of Michigan."

This is embarrassing. Cal Tech? Nope. M.I.T.? Nope. UI-Champaign-Urbana? Nope. Michigan! Good God!  Worse, the Michigan fight song truly sucks.

Well, good luck, guys. Back to the lab, fix the code, and give it another try. Maybe you can do better next time, and attract a better class of hackers.

Always Funny: Blowing Up People Who Won't Do What You Want

"10:10" is a British "climate change" "environmentalist" group urging Britons to cut down their carbon emissions next year by 10%. Fair enough. We here at Glib & Superficial are, for example, launching a similar campaign urging all Americans to increase their bacon consumption next year by 10%. We think that if more people ate more bacon they'd be happier, and the world would be a better place. But we digress.

The group has produced a "mini-movie" advertisement for their movement, with admirably high production values and excellent special effects:

The Guardian reports:

Had a look? Well, I'm certain you'll agree that detonating school kids, footballers and movie stars into gory pulp for ignoring their carbon footprints is attention-grabbing. It's also got a decent sprinkling of stardust – Peter Crouch, Gillian Anderson, Radiohead and others.

But it's pretty edgy, given 10:10's aim of asking people, businesses and organisations to take positive action against global warming by cutting their greenhouse gas emissions by 10% in a year, and thereby pressuring governments to act.

"Doing nothing about climate change is still a fairly common affliction, even in this day and age. What to do with those people, who are together threatening everybody's existence on this planet? Clearly we don't really think they should be blown up, that's just a joke for the mini-movie, but maybe a little amputating would be a good place to start?" jokes 10:10 founder and Age of Stupid film maker Franny Armstrong.

But why take such a risk of upsetting or alienating people, I ask her: "Because we have got about four years to stabilise global emissions and we are not anywhere near doing that. All our lives are at threat and if that's not worth jumping up and down about, I don't know what is."

"We 'killed' five people to make No Pressure – a mere blip compared to the 300,000 real people who now die each year from climate change," she adds.

Whoever said crazed lefty statists have no sense of humor? Not us! Nope. Here, they're clearly reaching back to their roots, and invoking Pol Pot. Now THERE was an hilarious guy!

How Do These Things Happen?

Once again, due to a staff error, Glib & Superficial failed to note that yesterday was "World Vegetarian Day." Fortunately, it's the kick-off for "Vegetarian Awareness Month," so we'll have ample continuing opportunity to discuss this important perversion of Natural Law.

We now go live to our kitchen-cam:

Steak au Poivre

Racist Vietnamese Bastard!

California's 47th Congressional district (Orange County) is currently represented by Democrat Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez.  She's pretty cute.  Her Republican opponent in November is Assemblyman Van Tran, whose antecedents apparently hail from Viet Nam.  Both Ms. Sanchez and Mr. Tran are, of course, Americans.

Representative Sanchez recently appeared on Spanish-language Univision, and delivered herself of the view that Mr. Tran is "anti-immigration" (which, of course, means "racist") and is moreover part of a conspiracy between Republicans and Vietnamese to "take back this seat from us."  That is, this particular Congressional seat belongs to "us" and we shouldn't let those damned Vietnamese take it away.

We are moderately confident that everyone from the California 47th who will be voting is an American, and that whoever is elected, they also will be an American.

What Are We Missing Here?

Headline from the Chicago Sun-Times: "New memorial signs to mark deaths caused by distracted drivers in 2011."

So. To mark locations where folks have died as a consequence of drivers being distracted, a bunch of new signs are to be erected. All right, then.

Greater Than the Sum of Their Parts

Steampunk + Transformers = Steampunk Prime.

Remember the Alamo

Julian Castro is the mayor of San Antonio. His mother, Rosie, remembers the Alamo:

"They used to take us there when we were school children," Perez told the Times. "They told us how glorious that battle was. When I grew up, I learned that the 'heroes' of the Alamo were a bunch of drunks and crooks and slaveholding imperialists who conquered land that didn't belong to them. But as a little girl I got the message (that) we were losers. I can truly say that I hate that place and everything it stands for."

Oddly, Rosie did not continue her analysis of history, apologize to the Aztecs on behalf of her people, and suggest reinstatement of the rightful heir of Montezuma. A little education is a dangerous thing.

I Kid You Not

From FedBizOps.gov, a service of the Government of the United States:

Solicitation Number:
EDOOIG-10-000004
Notice Type:
Combined Synopsis/Solicitation
Synopsis:
Added: Mar 08, 2010 10:39 am

The U.S. Department of Education (ED) intends to purchase twenty-seven (27) REMINGTON BRAND MODEL 870 POLICE 12/14P MOD GRWC XS4 KXCS SF. RAMAC #24587 GAUGE: 12 BARREL: 14" - PARKERIZED CHOKE: MODIFIED SIGHTS: GHOST RING REAR WILSON COMBAT; FRONT - XS CONTOUR BEAD SIGHT STOCK: KNOXX REDUCE RECOIL ADJUSTABLE STOCK FORE-END: SPEEDFEED SPORT-SOLID - 14" LOP are designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.

The required date of delivery is March 22, 2010.

Interested sources must submit detailed technical capabilities and any other information that demonstrates their ability to meet the requirements above, no later than March 12, 2010 at 12 PM, E.S.T. Any quotes must be submitted electronically to the attention of Holly.Le@ed.gov, Contract Specialist (Contract Operations Group), with a concurrent copy to Sherese.Lewis@ed.gov, Contracting Officer (Contract Operations Group).

I've not the slightest doubt that there's a compelling reason that the United States Department of Education needs 27 of these:

I just can't imagine what it would be.

I Think We're Done Here: Obama Doesn't Understand Insurance

The Great & Powerful Oz tells the parable of auto insurance at the health care confab:

The President of the United States doesn't know the difference between liability insurance and comprehensive or collision insurance. He doesn't understand that this is entirely a matter of choice and actuarial computation. Reduced to simplest terms, the President chose to purchase insurance that paid out if he rear-ended someone else; he chose NOT to purchase insurance that would pay out if someone rear-ended him. He chose to self-insure, or rely on another's liability insurance, for damage that was not his fault. Not only is he still outraged, but the tenor of his remarks makes clear that he assumes all of his listeners will be similarly astonished at this obvious miscarriage of justice at the hands of manipulative, greedy capitalists.

A pack of children has come upon an interesting artifact. They are ignorant of its nature. They hit it and bang it and poke it and make up games to play with it. They are briefly surprised and astonished when it explodes.

"If We Just Got Rid of All the . . . . "

"If we just sent the [FILL IN THE BLANK] home [from Congress], we could get this done in a week."

If you fill in the blank with blacks, women, gays, Jews, or Muslims, then there are simply no words to describe the depth of your evil. If, on the other hand, you're an elected member of Congress from New Hampshire, and you fill in the blank with "men," then it's obvious and amusing -- titter, titter. What a boob.

There's only one possible mature, adult way to respond: Anne Heche for Congress!

Chris Matthews Rips Alan Grayson (D, Fantasyland)

"You're pandering to the netroots!" Well, duh, Chris.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

"If there were such a thing as a speech-capable squirrel . . ."

. . . and if you could imprint every known Marxist text upon that squirrel’s brain, and then if you set the squirrel on fire, it might sound something like" THIS.

Good Tidings We Bring to You and Your Kin . . . . .

Tired of hearing about snow yet? Me too. In years gone by, we've posted videos of particularly impressive Christmas lights with accompanying music and computer controlled displays. That's sooooo '00s (oughties?). So herewith a different kind of Christmas wish displayed in lights. Don't be impatient, my droogies, the boring plastic Wise Men are just part of the setup.

There'll Always Be an England

Lord Christopher Monckton, 3rd Viscount Monckton of Brenchley, has his doubts about anthropogenic global warming. But as a Peer of the Realm, he is, well . . . . very English.

Here Lord Monckton discusses AGW with a Greenpeace sympathizer who, it turns out, really doesn't know very much . . . but feels very strongly:

Nobody expects the English Inquisition.

Ice Hockey

AGW: Anthropogenic Global Warming.  The question of the day.  But it's a two-part question.  First question: is the Globe Warming?  Second question: is it our fault?

The first question would seem to be entirely a matter of fact.  By it's structure, it is the sort of question that should have an answer.  But reliable thermometers -- let alone reliable records -- have only been around for about a century-and-a-half.

But there exist much longer "data sets."  People who have spent a lifetime studying such things tell us that the amount of ice laid down in a glacier in any particular year is in large part dependent on the mean temperature that year.  And in Greenland and Antarctica there exist glaciers that have been around since considerably before 1850.

Here's a graph of the inferred temperate data extracted from a Greenland glacier (click to embiggen):

Uh oh. Even worse, the slope goes even further up after 1900. While this hardly answers the question of whether this is all our fault, it certainly suggests that the earth has been warming in the last 150 years or so, at least as compared to what was going on between 1400 and 1850. It's that fricking hockey stick.

I hear you desperately asking if there might just be similar data for BEFORE 1400. An excellent question. Glad you asked. Here's the data from the same source, plotted all the way back to about 3,000 B.C.:

Those of you who know a bit of European history will observe the Medieval Warm Period around 1,000 A.D., followed by the Little Ice Age, which explains why the Tudors wore all those warm clothes. You'll also notice a rather precipitous decline between about 500 A.D. and 800 A.D. And you always wondered why Europe was so backward after the fall of the Roman Empire, while North Africa thrived.

If only there were data going even farther back. As it happens, there are ice sheets in Antarctica that have been there for more than 400,000 years. Here's their tale:

Our readers are all of them smart enough to draw their own conclusions, and take appropriate steps to protect themselves, their children, and their grandchildren. After all, it's all about the children, right? We know what we're going to do. We're going to practice hunting mammoths.

All of this information comes from Andrew Watts' website "Watts Up With That?" DO NOT fail to read his recent articles on problems with and adjustments to temperature data.

But Why Would You WANT To?

"How to Slice a Bagel into Two Linked Halves"