Dating Tips

New Dating Breakthrough

Researchers translate thoughts into speech.

Out of my Way, You Maori Bastard!

Today's story from our "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" staff involves Lisa Marie Thompson, who lives in Upper Hutt, New Zealand. Ms. Hutt wanted to do something to publicly express her devotion to her boyfriend, so she decided to get vanity license plates for her car. "I HEART ANDREW" wouldn't fit. She could have gone with "ANDREW" or "ANDY," but decided instead to keep it simple, and so ordered plates with the first initial and last name of her beloved, Andrew Ryan.

What could possibly go wrong?

Flawed Business Plan

It seems that in a month or so, "Cupidtino" (you know, like "Cupertino" (Apple's headquarters) and "Cupid" (like in the little chubby angel whose little pointy-things pierce your heart, sentencing you to a life of handing over the paycheck to "Faye")) is set to launch. Since we can't make this stuff up, we'll just quote their pre-opening banner:

Cupidtino is a beautiful new dating site created for fans of Apple products by fans of Apple products! Why? Diehard Mac & Apple fans often have a lot in common – personalities, creative professions, a similar sense of style and aesthetics, taste, and of course a love for technology. We believe these are enough reasons for two people to meet and fall in love, and so we created the first Mac-inspired dating site to help you find other Machearts around you.

Cupidtino will launch in June 2010 exclusively on Apple platforms – Safari, iPhone and iPad apps. It’s time to share the love.

While we applaud any effort to extend new technology to applications other than pornography, we wonder if the boffins behind this site are aware that "dating" requires at least one of the participants to actually be a girl. Not the avatar of a "girl," or the screen icon of a "girl," or a computer-generated "girl," or a Level 31 Paladin-Mage "girl," but an actual flesh-and-blood girl.

This, for example, is a girl:

This message has been presented as a public service to Apple Fanboys everywhere: forget it.