Triskaidekaphobia

In the course of each 400-year cycle of the Gregorian calendar, there are a total of 146,097 days: 146,000 normal days (365 x 400), plus 97 leap days. Over that 400-year cycle, the 13th day of the month will occur 684 times on Thursday and Saturday, 685 times on Monday and Tuesday, 687 times on Wednesday and Sunday . . . and 688 times on a Friday.

Thus, it is more likely for the 13th to be a Friday than any other day.

Science Marches On

"1 death, 76 illnesses linked to ground turkey"

Neither death nor illnesses attributed to tree turkeys, apparently.

DIY Projects

Replace the kitchen faucet? Check.
Paint the porch? Check.
Re-tile the bathroom? Check.
Fix the window-screens? Check.
Surgically repair hernia with butter-knife? Wait, what?

Before any do-it-yourself project, it's wise to consult an expert:

"It is absolutely impossible for someone to fix their own hernia," said Sam Carvajal, a surgeon at Glendale Adventist Medical Center.

Medical News You Can Use

New study lists risk factors for stroke resulting from ruptured brain aneurysm:

Researchers from University Medical Center in Utrecht, the Netherlands, analyzed 250 patients who survived such a stroke and identified eight risk factors tied to the event. They included drinking a cup of coffee, which carried the highest risk, having sex, physical exercise, nose blowing, straining to defecate, drinking cola and being startled or angry.

The report doesn't say how many of the 250 patients might have simultaneously exposed themselves to two or more of the risk factors. We can think of ways to combine four, but that may be a failure of imagination.

Gerber Recalls 60,000 Jars Of Baby Poison

From The Onion.

Time Magazine Names Zuckerberg "Person of the Year"

We suspect that their nod to the Facebook founder has something to do with their plans to soon bring out a new version of the magazine, this one aimed at adults.

Wikileaks

Finally, someone spots a genuinely embarrassing diplomatic cable disclosed by Wikileaks.

News You Can Use

Our intrepid staff swims upstream in the cloaca maxima that is the internet, so you can spend your time checking out the boots at Nordstroms.

Study reveals it's possible to conceal a rifle in your pants. No, no, no; get out of the gutter. We mean a rifle rifle.

If Marilyn Monroe were alive; and if she were a midget; and if she wrestled for a living, this would be her.

ZomBcon 2010: networking for aspiring survivors, or tasty-brain target-rich environment?

Career advice: on your first day as a preschool teacher, do not tweet "preschool Start 9.30am. Think I will rape 6-7 young girls."

If the referee is a woman, and you to attempt to give her a congratulatory pat on the shoulder, but miss, you'd better hope she's a good sport.

The Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog is out, this year featuring an edible gingerbread playhouse, six feet high, five feet wide, and four feet deep, yours for the low, low price of $9,000 (plus $25,000 shipping and handling). [But wait! If you call right now, we'll send you TWO edible gingerbread playhouses . . . .]

When is a lawnmower more fun than blowing shit up? When it goes 100 mph.

More career advice, herein for the Facebook Generation: If you're going to run for Congress, it would be wise to first check out what pictures you've posted on Facebook. (Warning: not pornographic, but definitely NSFW.)

October, 2010

“This October has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays all in one month. It happens only once in 823 years.”

Hey, wait a minute. Despite garnering a million google hits, and being the subject of at least two Facebook groups, can this possibly be true? Of course not. There are only seven possible days of the week on which any particular year can begin, and since every year has either 365 or 366 days, that gives us only 14 possible calendars.

Can you say "perpetual calendar," children? In fact, the calendar for 2010 is the same as that for 1999, 1993, and 1982. And we'll be using it again in 2021 and 2027.

Looked at another way, EVERY month with 31 days consists of 4 nice, orderly repetitions of 7-day weeks, with three days left over. Thus, EVERY 31-day month will provide us with 4 instances of each of 4 days of the week, and 5 instances of the remaining three days of the week.

And, just so you know, my birthday in 3867 is a Thursday.

Obvious

CNNHealth reports:

Women who have gene mutations that increase the risk of breast and ovarian cancer can substantially reduce their chances of developing -- and dying from -- those cancers if they have their breasts or ovaries removed preemptively, according to a new study.

A similar study, with respect to brain cancer, is expected to report similar results.