Misdemeanor Pea Shooting

Weaponized Pea-Shooter

Oh, my. When swirlies are outlawed, only outlaws will be . . . something or other. The latest example of public school "zero tolerance" comes to us from Spotsylvania County:

Andrew Mikel II admits it was a stupid thing to do. In December, bored and craving attention, the 14-year-old used a plastic tube to blow small plastic pellets at fellow students in Spotsylvania High School. In one lunch period, he scored three hits.

"They flinched. They looked annoyed," Mikel said.

The school district saw it as more than a childish prank. School officials expelled him for possession and use of a weapon, and they called a deputy sheriff to the scene, said Mikel and his father, Andrew Mikel Sr.

The younger Mikel, a freshman, said he was charged with three counts of misdemeanor assault.

The story includes the explanation that the boy will be "cleared of the misdemeanor criminal charges if he participates in a year-long diversion program." Which won't be of much help when he answers "no" to the employment application question, and his prospective employer nevertheless finds vestigial virtual tracks.

Everyone with their head screwed on properly can agree that this is silly. But if I were the principal of a public school these days, it's neither the normal parents nor the normally obnoxious teen boys I'd be worried about. Instead, I'd be looking over my shoulder for the hovering litigious parent whose tender snowflake got spit-balled.  In a sane world, this problem would be solved by one of the assault victims smacking Andy upside the head.  But, of course, that kid's parents have probably told him that violence never solves anything.

In other news, if you're an obnoxious teen boy in the Plymouth-Canton school district outside Detroit, and you're a Sikh, you have a religious right to carry a blade at school.  One wonders what proportion of the student body will declare themselves Sikhs before the end of term.  Perhaps the school board can set up a panel of inquisitors to sort out the real Sikhs from the fake Sikhs.

Zombie Stimulus

No, really!

Browncoats?

Thursday's Boston Globe included a story by someone named "Beth Teitell" which seeks to answer the question, "We all know about Scott Brown's truck, but what's the story behind that coat?" Maybe Boston Globe reporters don't have access to Google. Perhaps they're so well educated that they spend their time reading scandalous poems by Ovid, rather than slumming with the great unwashed middle class. She wonders:

Scott Brown’s pickup truck got almost as much attention as the Senate candidate, but somehow his equally ubiquitous, equally everyman barn jacket cruised below the pundits’ radar.

And yet, there it was, starring in his now-famous truck ad. There it was again, waving to motorists. And voting in the election.

But what do we know about that brown jacket, really?

Is it possible -- just barely possible -- that our elite arbiters of politics and culture know nothing about Browncoats?

There's Something About Tampa

Two old guys get into a fight at the city council meeting.  Loser can't find glasses, winner's flowered shirt unmussed.  We suppose this sort of thing happens elsewhere, but not so much.

A Transcendentally Big Tent

Dear Adolfe,

Thanks for joining this movement. It will take all of us working together to bring change to this country, and we wanted to make sure you know about all the opportunities to get involved in your community and online.

Check out the resources below — learn how you can connect with fellow supporters, organize in your neighborhood, build our national grassroots organization, and stay informed with the very latest campaign news.

More on the Obama's deliberately fraudulent fund-raising HERE, including links to The Chosen One's medley of hits, from Mark Steyn.

You Think?

The Worcester Telegram & Gazette advises:

. . . the Worcester district attorney’s office is warning residents not to eat any seafood they may have purchased from the back of a truck Sunday night or yesterday morning.

Words to live by.

Headline Material

A CNN "personality" was arrested in Central Park: "It wasn't immediately clear what the rope was for."

G&S reads the New York Post so you don't have to.

Spitzenfreude

John Derbyshire at NRO: "At this point people would normally be saying: 'You have to be a little bit sorry for the guy.' Yet so far I have not heard this, nor seen any sign that anybody does feel sorry for him. It's not just that nobody likes him now; nobody has ever liked him, that I can recall."

The Mitchell Report - It's Not Complicated.

We at G&S don't understand all the fuss over the Mitchell Report. Who needs steroids, anyway? As our friend George would say, "It's not complicated."

You Think?

You don't read every news story to the end. You know you don't. With some, you don't even get past the headline. But some we read all the way through. Sometimes it's because they sort of scare us, and we can easily imagine ourselves in the same situation. Accidents, floods, that sort of thing. Others we read because they're reassuring. We know we're way smarter than those folks who signed up for the mortgage with an interest rate that started at 1%, but went to 25% in the third month. Those stories make us feel better: We're at least a little bit in control.

But some stories we read all the way to the end because we can't imagine how they can be true (we couldn't ever be in that position, and we don't even know anyone who could ever be there). The people involved seem to be from another planet, or at least a different species.

Which brings us to today's cautionary tale, brought to you by the letter P (for "pick ax") from beautiful Arizona:

Tempe police arrested a woman Tuesday night on suspicion that she tied up a man during sex, then stabbed him repeatedly with a knife and told him she likes to drink blood.

Tiffany Sutton, 23, was arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault at 11:55 p.m. in the 1000 block of South Lola Lane, where she and the victim were living, police said.

The man told police he had consented to being tied up but became scared when the woman attacked him with a knife. He eventually freed himself and ran away, but Sutton chased him with a pickax, police said.

The man was taken in an ambulance to a local hospital, where he was treated for injuries.

Police were unsure if the pair were friends, but Sgt. Mike Horn said the man and woman were not in a relationship.

Both admitted to authorities that they had consumed alcohol and drugs prior to the attack, Horn said.

The man called his friend, who found him passed out and then called police. Sutton initially acted like she was the victim, Horn said.

Sutton later told police the entire encounter was consensual.

My personal favorite is "Police were unsure if the pair were friends." Do you suppose they mean to wonder of the two remain close after this unfortunate misunderstanding?

From the East Valley Tribune.