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"Every gross brained idiot is suffered to come into print." ~ Thomas Nash (1592)
"The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."
"Impossible to transcend."
Albert A. Gore, Jr.:"An incontinent brute."
Rev. Jeremiah Wright:"God damn the Gentleman Farmer."
Friends of GF's Sons:"Is that really your dad?"
Kickball Girl:"Keeping 'em alive until 7:45."
Hired Hand:"I think . . . we forgot the pheasant."
"He was like, 'Sorry about that pitch inside. I was trying to change the view of the ball for you a little bit,'" said Koby, a third baseman who was drafted by Houston last summer. “I said, ‘I knew what you were doing.'"Story HERE.
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.H/T - a man known only as "Chesty."
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up".
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.
The downfall of civilization can be traced directly to the practice of putting televisions in taverns. Men stopped talking to one another. Then they went home and started talking to their wives to whom they hadn’t talked in centuries. This led immediately to wholesale divorce, which in turn led to women in the workplace and juvenile delinquency. Other ills too numerous and horrible to mention followed until men stopped wearing ties so they wouldn’t hang themselves.
The child entered a restricted area and climbed a four-foot fence to reach the bears' two-acre habitat. The child apparently then put his or her hand through a 10-foot chain-link fence and was bitten.That is, a child (who may not have been so little) was permitted by its parent to go aggressively out of its way to get near enough to one of the bears that "the skin on the child's right hand" was "broken."
Maymont officials do not know the identity, age or gender of the child, Brown said. However, they were informed in a closed-door meeting this morning that the skin on the child's right hand had been broken and the rabies test was necessary.
Please be outside the Embassy of Denmark, 3200 Whitehaven Street (off Massachusetts Avenue) between noon and 1 p.m. this Friday, Feb. 24. Quietness and calm are the necessities, plus cheerful conversation. Danish flags are good, or posters reading "Stand By Denmark" and any variation on this theme (such as "Buy Carlsberg/ Havarti/ Lego") The response has been astonishing and I know that the Danes are appreciative. But they are an embassy and thus do not of course endorse or comment on any demonstration. Let us hope, however, to set a precedent for other cities and countries. Please pass on this message to friends and colleagues.That would be HERE, not far from St. Albans and the Cathedral, near the Vice President's residence at the Naval Observatory.
Imagine what would happen if the Danish government apologized for the cartoons, fired the editor of the paper that printed them, and gave $50 million to the radical Islamic protestors who have demanded the heads of the cartoons' creators.And concludes that the result would be pretty much what's happened to Harvard President Larry Summers.
So let me get this straight. Bush wants me to spend $15,000 of my own money installing solar panels on my roof, and then sell whatever I don't use back to the city so his Big Sunshine Buddies can gouge my neighbors on a rainy day? No wonder the Shrub is suddenly so jolly about solar power. His plan would effectively create ten of thousands of miniature Mom & Pop Enrons, all screwing their neighbors for an extra buck and pouring their ill-begotten loot right back into the RNC.There's much, much more over at BlameBush! (subtitled "Because Bush is to Blame for Everything").
Just like water, air, real estate, and personal income, sunlight is a natural resource that belongs to everyone. It shouldn't be selfishly hoarded by private citizens, but held in trust by community leaders and distributed to each person according to his need. Obviously, Bush doesn't have any concern for the energy requirements of people who live under bridges or in sewer systems where the sun does not reach. Nor does he care how unfair solar power is to parts of the world that aren't blessed by constant sunshine. Will Bush do the right thing and cut back U.S. energy production so Germany, France and other sunless locales can compete with us in the global marketplace? What of states that are heavily dependent on aggressive gas taxes to create pointless union jobs? Will there be federal assistance available for the thousands of impoverished contractors who will be forced to sell one of their Harleys just to put food on the table?
There are bound to be severe environmental ramifications to solar power as well. One or two rooftop solar kits are just the beginning. Endless fields of solar panels soaking up the sun's rays like giant sponges will cast the world into a dark age unseen since Reagan was elected. Animal species and plant life that depend on their meager share of sunlight to survive will be threatened with extinction. Crops will fail. Millions will starve. Ted Kennedy's days of nude sunbathing will be over. Do you want to live in that world? I sure don't.
This isn't just about cartoons. This is about the Islamists' attempts to inflict their theocracy upon us. Not even through war and conquest, which would be terrible enough. But through something even worse-- sheer cowardice on our part. They are attempting to impose their belief system upon us through our own voluntary submission to Islamic law, just for fear of speaking up for ourselves and making some radical Islamists somewhere very cross.
It's one thing to be forced to accept an alien religion and culture through military conquest. It is simply craven to accept such things while still ostensibly free and unconquered.
Submission. The key tenet of Islam. It is strange that many of those in our nation who are most hostile to religion, and most angered that anyone with a religious viewpoint even argue a political point in the public square, for fear of poluting it with their Jesus-talk, are so willing to submit entirely to the tenets of fundamentalist Islam.
I don't think that Islam should be discriminated against in the West. But I'll be God-Damned To Hell before I see it elevated, as quasi-official state doctrine enforced by our cultural guardians in the media and the academy, above every other faith in the country.
Some dishes seem unexceptional, such as the goat penis, sliced, dipped in flour, fried, and served skewered with soy sauce.We thought so.
Cheney is a terrorist. He terrorizes our enemies abroad and innocent citizens here at home indiscriminately. Who ever thought Harry Whittington would be the answer to America's prayers. Finally, someone who might get that lying, thieving Cheney into a courtroom to answer some direct questions.Some might think that "terrorizing our enemies" is a good thing. Apparently not. More HERE.
An Escambia County middle school gym teacher let children sit out his class if they paid a $1 bribe daily, netting him perhaps thousands of dollars, officials said Thursday.We are a bit surprised that the school district has responded by arresting this fellow. One might have imagined that instead, a special tax would be imposed to subsidize those kids who couldn't afford to pay the dollar.
Willie Nelson Releases Gay Cowboy SongStory HERE. No word yet as to Gentleman Farmer's paradox-driven meltdown.
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- Country music outlaw Willie Nelson sang "Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys" and "My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys" more than 25 years ago. He released a very different sort of cowboy anthem this Valentine's Day.
"Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other)" may be the first gay cowboy song by a major recording artist. But it was written long before this year's Oscar-nominated "Brokeback Mountain" made gay cowboys a hot topic.
Why is this newspaper published in the language of a tiny island on the other side of the earth? Why does Australia have an English Queen, English common law, English institutions? Because England was the first nation to conquer infant mortality.
By 1820 medical progress had so transformed British life that half the population was under the age of 15. Britain had the manpower to take, hold, settle and administer huge chunks of real estate around the planet. Had, say, China or Russia been first to overcome childhood mortality, the modern world would be very different.
What country today has half of its population under the age of 15? Italy has 14 per cent, the UK 18 per cent, Australia 20 per cent - and Saudi Arabia has 39 per cent, Pakistan 40 per cent and Yemen 47 per cent. Little Yemen, like little Britain 200 years ago, will send its surplus youth around the world - one way or another.
In 2005, some 137 million babies were born around the globe. That 137 million is the maximum number of 20-year-olds who'll be around in 2025. There are no more, no other sources; that's it, barring the introduction of mass accelerated cloning (which is by no means an impossibility). Who that 137 million are will determine the character of our world.
The shape's already becoming clear. Take those Danish cartoons. Every internet blogger wants to take a stand on principle alongside plucky little Denmark. But there's only five million of them. Whereas there are 20 million Muslims in Europe - officially. That's the equivalent of the Danes plus the Irish plus the Belgians plus the Estonians.
(2006-02-15) — V. Gene Robinson, the first openly-homosexual Episcopalian bishop, came under attack today for a recent statement in which he called his alcoholism a “disease” for which he’s getting treatment.We know that's not Bishop Robinson. But the pic of a drunken Nick Nolte just never gets old.
“Bishop Robinson has reinforced the stereotype that being a drunk is some kind of medical condition that needs a cure,” according to an unnamed spokesman for the American Drunkards Association (ADA), a non-profit group that helps people recover from Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. “Alcoholism isn’t a disease, it’s who we are. We want to be accepted for who we are. The bishop has done irreparable harm to drunken clerics everywhere, not to mention the damage done to millions of lay-drunkards.”
The American Drunkards Association also lobbies lawmakers to gain equal rights for alcoholics — “a large and growing group of Americans who face discrimination daily, especially from the department of motor vehicles.”
“Imagine not being allowed to drive just because of who you are,” said the unnamed ADA spokesman. “Police across the country engage in discriminatory profiling against drunkards, and there’s no public outcry about this civil rights abuse.”
Bishop Robinson, who left his wife to live with his homosexual partner, said he’s “humbled by the opportunity to be the denomination’s first openly-gay, openly-drunk and openly-irresponsible bishop.”
“My life sends a refreshing message to our parishioners of redemption without repentance,” he said. “It’s a real improvement on old-fashioned Biblical principles.”
This is too much. It was not enough that these infidels sell bacon and sausage, made from the unclean pig, and something called “scrapple” which also can’t be good. This Pancake House permits men and women to eat together, and even welcomes young Jewish women, who shamelessly display their Zionist boobies, particularly in the summer when the weather is warm, and they wear those little tube-top things that they need to keep pulling up.Consolidated StickySeats, Inc., the owner of Pancake House, denied that the image was of the founder of Islam. "It’s really nothing more than a thing we had left over from a Star Wars promotion. That’s supposed to be Liam Neeson," a spokesman explained. The company announced that it would pass out coupons to every Muslim in Homestead, good for a free medium soft drink.
Sharia clearly prohibits depictions of the Prophet on food products, post-it notes, and leather thongs. This latest unspeakable blasphemy is intolerable.
Just imagine if chutzpah destabilized the space-time continuum. Then imagine Ted Kennedy taking to the floor of the Senate to denounce Cheney's accident reporting protocols. Space and time would fold in on themselves in the well of the Senate and while Ted would vanish in a fzzztt...spork! and a burst of ozone, maybe a cool pterodactyl or woolly mammoth would escape through the rip in existence and terrorize the capitol.We now return you to your regular program.
Although the white man in the yellow hat is never depicted mistreating the monkey (although some might argue dressing a wild animal in human clothes is the cruelest form of exploitation), the monkey is, nevertheless, a "naughty little monkey". George is constantly unsupervised, gets in trouble with the police, and is even sent to jail.And then there's the fact that he smokes. And sleeps in a bed. No, really. You could look it up HERE.
A modern, socially responsible reading of the book must focus on a socially just solution to the problems presented by the monkey's capture. Such a reading makes Curious George an excellent educational tool in teaching children an environmental ethic where the rights of all creatures are valued and considered.
Poland's Roman Catholics expressed outrage on Thursday after a magazine published a picture of the much-revered icon of the Black Madonna with pop icon Madonna's face transposed on to it.The Big Pharaoh asks:
"We are shocked to see, yet again, the miraculous icon of the mother of God used in a [profane] way for advertising and business purposes," said Paulinian monks at Jasna Gora monastery in the southern city of Czestochowa, who are custodians of the icon that Poles believe was painted by St Luke the Evangelist.
Pop magazine Machina published a photograph of the sacred icon, with pop idol Madonna's face transposed over the face of the Virgin and one of the singer's children in the place of the baby Jesus, on the cover of the issue that hit the newsstands on Thursday after a three-year publishing hiatus.
"The icon, along with the crucifix and the Bible, are key symbols of faith for all Christians," the monks said in a statement published on their website.
WHAT???!!! Is that it? That's the protest??? No boycotting of all Poland? No vilification of Poland? No burning Polish flags in Catholic Italy and Brazil?? No demanding an apology from the Polish government for what the INDEPENDENT magazine Machina printed? No riots???That's the least of it. Where are the denunciations of the United States, and the antisemitic screaming? No shaking fists? Not a single embassy fire?
Ohh, Catholics are sissies!
Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid wrote at least four letters helpful to Indian tribes represented by Jack Abramoff, and the senator's staff regularly had contact with the disgraced lobbyist's team about legislation affecting other clients.Does this mean that Dr. Dean will now shut up about this "Republican scandal"?
The activities _ detailed in billing records and correspondence obtained by The Associated Press _ are far more extensive than previously disclosed. They occurred over three years as Reid collected nearly $68,000 in donations from Abramoff's firm, lobbying partners and clients.
Reid's office acknowledged Thursday having "routine contacts" with Abramoff's lobbying partners and intervening on some government matters _ such as blocking some tribal casinos _ in ways Abramoff's clients might have deemed helpful. But it said none of his actions were affected by donations or done for Abramoff.
"All the actions that Senator Reid took were consistent with his long- held beliefs, such as not letting tribal casinos expand beyond reservations, and were taken to defend the interests of Nevada constituents," spokesman Jim Manley said.
Reid, D-Nev., has led the Democratic Party's attacks portraying Abramoff's lobbying and fundraising as a Republican scandal.
But Abramoff's records show his lobbying partners billed for nearly two dozen phone contacts or meetings with Reid's office in 2001 alone.
(02-08) 18:01 PST Monterey, Calif. (AP) --We'd make some sort of snide reference to politics, but really the only response is "Wow, that sucks."
The tranquility of Monterey has been disturbed by a foghorn stuck at the end of the Coast Guard pier. The switch is stuck on "on" and nobody in the area knows how to fix it, Petty Officer 1st Class Lance Benedict said Tuesday.
So the foghorn wails every few minutes.
"There are concerns that people may see them and be offended by them and may be terribly upset by them, and given that, we thought that was a good enough reason to ask him to take them down," said [St. Mary's University] vice-president Chuck Bridges.More from the CBC.
Low-fat diets do not protect women against heart attacks, strokes, breast cancer or colon cancer, a major study has found, contradicting what had once been promoted as one of the cornerstones of a healthy lifestyle.We can hear the frustration and dejection in his reedy little voice, can we not? Didn't work out the way you expected, did it, you damned pale, skinny celery-cruncher.
The eight-year study of nearly 50,000 middle-age and elderly women -- by far the largest, most definitive test of cutting fat from the diet -- did not find any clear evidence that doing so reduced their risks, undermining more than a decade of advice from many doctors.
The findings run contrary to the belief that eating less fat would have myriad health benefits, which had prompted health authorities to begin prominent campaigns to get people to eat less fat and the food industry to line grocery shelves with low-fat cookies, chips and other products.
"Based on our findings, we cannot recommend that most women should follow a low-fat diet," said Jacques Rossouw of the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, which funded the $415 million study.
Although the study involved only women, the findings probably apply to men as well, he said.
Tehran, 7 Feb. (AKI) - Iran has decided to rename Danish pastries "Mohammedan" pastry - a new twist in the crisis which has triggered protest by Muslims throughout the world against cartoons of Mohammed first published in Denmark.Something makes us think that these are not called "danish" in Arabic.
Let me start by saying that as anyone who knows me would tell you, I am a George Bush loving conservative. I think the Iraq war is right and abortion is wrong. Terry Schiavo was murdered. Richard Nixon is over-demonized. Reagan had tremendous foresight, and George Bush is no idiot.But she went to see Brokeback Mountain anyway:
I love cowboys. I love a good Western. I have loved Clint Eastwood from afar, literally for as long as I can remember. Homosexuality is wrong. Adultery is wrong.
So I think I should have hated Brokeback Mountain. But I didn’t. I was moved to tears. Heartbroken even.After a long and thoughtful review, she concludes:
If Brokeback Mountain is meant to be some kind of endorsement of homosexuality well then I didn’t get it and I’d have to give it an “F.” But if it is supposed to be a small, poetic illustration of one part of the human condition it does an achingly good job.Read the whole thing HERE.
Now, I surely don't wish harm on anyone who works in or eats at this Hooters, and it would be proper and Christian to ask God to protect all souls inside from any disaster. But -- am I the only one who thinks that calling on the Lord to bless a restaurant whose appeal and indeed its very name is based on the idea of men coming in to look at women's breasts through tight T-shirts is a bit...oh, I don't know...unseemly? Is there a chart somewhere which lists which types of businesses may or may not receive church blessings? Where do casinos fit into this list? Strip clubs? Peep shows?
GAZA (Reuters) - When entrepreneur Ahmed Abu Dayya first heard that Danish caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad were being reprinted across Europe, he knew exactly what his customers in Gaza would want: flags to burn.Full story HERE.
Abu Dayya ordered 100 hard-to-find Danish and Norwegian flags for his Gaza City shop and has been doing a swift trade.
"I do not take political stands. It is all business," he said in an interview. "But this time I was offended by the assault on the Prophet Mohammad."
NURSES want patients who are intent on harming themselves to be provided with clean blades so that they can cut themselves more safely.In a bid to retire the trophy for stating the obvious, The Times notes that the proposal "is likely to provoke controversy." A safe bet. Just to be sure its readers aren't confused, and have all necessary information at their fingertips, the article explains:
They say people determined to harm themselves should be helped to minimise the risk of infection from dirty blades, in the same way as drug addicts are issued with clean needles.
This could include giving the "self-harm" patients sterile blades and clean packets of bandages or ensuring that they keep their own blades clean. Nurses would also give patients advice about which parts of the body it is safer to cut.
At present nurses are expected to stop anyone doing physical harm to themselves and to confiscate any sharp objects ranging from razor blades to broken glass and tin cans.The pattern, of course, mirrors not only provision of syringes to junkies, but also passing out condoms to kids. The theme is that people are going to do certain dangerous, stupid, destructive things, so we might as well see to it that the damage isn't any greater than it has to be.