What's For Dinner Tonight?

We're planning to use Dean Martin's recipe:

@LettersOfNote

How Do These Things Happen?

Once again, due to a staff error, Glib & Superficial failed to note that yesterday was "World Vegetarian Day." Fortunately, it's the kick-off for "Vegetarian Awareness Month," so we'll have ample continuing opportunity to discuss this important perversion of Natural Law.

We now go live to our kitchen-cam:

Steak au Poivre

Best. Sketch. Ever.

Bacon? Check. Eggs? Check. Jello? Check. Hey, what?!??

Faithful Sherpa provides the following insight into cutting-edge cuisine (click [if you dare] to embiggen):

From My Jello Americans, The Future of Jello Shots

Annals of Delicious Grease

"The Double Down — which consists of two boneless chicken filets that enclose two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of cheese and a mysterious substance known as Colonel’s Sauce — was clearly concocted in a laboratory manned by maniacs.

"The whole idea of replacing bread with chicken — fried chicken — is so brilliantly horrible that I’m surprised Leviticus has nothing to say on the subject. Surely, while God was prohibiting fortunetelling and bestiality he could have mentioned something about misuses of fried-chicken slabs.

"Still, you can’t put the genie back in the grease-stained bottle, so I say let’s go for it. Anything goes from here on out, and I for one don’t intend to be left behind by the salty tides of suicide cuisine."

Gulp down the whole thing: Embrace Suicide Cuisine With New Fast-Food Delicacies

Food Science Marches On

"Food scientists in Penn State's College of Agricultural Sciences have discovered an edible film can be used for wrapping ready-to-eat meat products."

Do they mean like this?

But Why Would You WANT To?

"How to Slice a Bagel into Two Linked Halves"

A Meal to Die For

h/t to Uncle Michael

Take a Bite Out of Barry

The only way that's likely to happen, or for me to nibble Sarah's ear, is LIKE THIS.

Supply Your Own Punch Line

WNBC in New York reports:

VERMONT -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

"PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.

"The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn't make sense," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "Everyone knows that 'the breast is best,' so Ben & Jerry's could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk."

We wonder if adoption of such a plan would spur the creation of a more anatomically correct cherry to use atop sundaes.

[UPDATE (3:45 p.m.): Suggested new Ben & Jerry's flavors include Jenny Garcia, Peanut Butter C-cup, and the observation that Chunky Monkey could be retained.]

Yum!

Pancakes for Breakfast?

Apparently a real product. And it's organic! More HERE and HERE.

Give Peas a Chance

Made With Free-Range Shepherds

Some things are just plain right, and some just clearly wrong.

Krispy Kreme doughnuts: Wrong. A waste of time and calories.
Dunkin' Donuts: Right. Recommended by doctors 3 to 1.

On pizza, all wrong: anchovies, eggplant, pineapple. Bacon would be wrong, except bacon is always right.

Our cousins across the pond have their own icons, and their own beliefs. The Daily Telegraph reports:

After a day spent drinking, Michael Garvin cooked his brother John the traditional English dish for dinner, expecting a grateful response.

John, however, voiced his disquiet that the pie was not topped with a layer of sliced tomatoes.

His brother, a chef, claimed a layer of tomatoes was not the appropriate way to finish off a shepherd’s pie, and responded by hitting him over the head with a shovel.

As the argument got out of control, John threatened to petrol bomb his brother’s flat and was arrested.

Thank God that the Brits still produce strong, rough men willing to stand up for what's right.

Thanksgiving Break

The proprietors of this establishment are required by familial obligation to travel to darkest Tampa for Thanksgiving. To avoid the worst airline congestion, we depart Sunday and return Friday. We suggested that traveling during the first week of February would avoid even more traffic, but there were other objections to that. In the meantime, we now bring you a word from our sponsor this week, TOFU!

When Those Nouveau Jellied Eels Just Won't Do

Available online from Martin's Seafresh Local Fish. Tips to more online delicacies HERE.

Justice Department Meatballs Exposed

CNN (so you know it's not only true, but vital that you know it) reports:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Hungry attendees at Justice Department conferences have been enjoying millions of dollars in meatballs and other goodies courtesy of U.S. taxpayers, according to an inspector general's report released Friday.

The report cited $5 meatballs and cans of soft drinks each costing $4.55 among reasons 10 conferences during 2005 and 2006 cost nearly $7 million.

Observation: In our experience (and we know whereof we speak) the really expensive meatballs at the Department of Justice cost taxpayers way more than $5.

Question: How come we never get invited to any of these meetings and conferences at which suchlike things are free?

How Ya' Gonna Keep 'Em . . . .

That's a map of Manhattan, of course. Almost certainly the most expensive real estate on earth. Certainly among the most intensely urban tracts on the planet. With 1.5 million folks packed into 23 square miles, it is the most densely populated county in the United States -- more than 2,100 people per acre.

So what are those red dots?

They represent people who receive subsidies from the Government of the United States.

Farm subsidies.

Would we lie to you? We would not. More HERE.

Modern Modernity

According to the New York Times, obesity is unrelated to what you eat. Or something like that. Go ahead and take a stab at making the slightest sense of this article.

Our Peeps

In years past we have posted in this space at this time of year on the subject of Peeps, those artificially colored, artificially flavored, artificially sweetened, traditional Easter confections. We have done this in part to solidify our superficial street cred. And also because our friend PantherGirl has a thing about Peeps. (And, NO, we decline to reveal whether she prefers the interior to the exterior ones.)

At the same time, we post with regularity on subjects political, with an eye to solidifying our reputation for superior glibosity.

This year, with the aid of Mary Katharine Ham, we accomplish both at once: