Caturday

A Thanksgiving Tale: "Son, have you ever been arrested?"

We Welcome Our Heterochromatic Masters

Today I Learned . . .

. . . that Hassan Rouhani, President of Iran, has a Twitter account. I'm personally looking forward to a Twitter war involving @HassanRouhani, @Pontifex, @AlecBaldwin, and @KimKardashian.

We were all young . . . once upon a time

"Long against Hrothgar Grendel struggled . . . ."

Since the days of Hrothgar and Beowulf the Danish Royal Family has . . . changed.  Behold!

More HERE.  That kid -- excuse me, His Royal Highness Prince Christian Valdemar Henri John, Count of Monpezat -- we've seen him before.

Stanford 63 -- Some State College 13

50 Years Later

November 22, 1963: 9 1/2 Minutes on the CBS Television Network

"For there is born to you this day, in the City of David . . ."

. . . a gingerbread house."

"It's nothing. It's just a wolf."

"Crunch, crunch, I don't want no lunch . . .

. . . all I want is potato chips."

ObamaCare -- Words Matter

I thought I'd noticed this, but I'm getting old, I drink heavily, and I'm plainly a racist.  I thought, that is, that I'd noticed that while, until recently, Our Masters had referred to the Affordable Care Act as "Obamacare," they'd recently seemed to be pointedly avoiding that term.

When everyone thought the war in Iraq was a wonderful idea, no Democrat ever referred to "Mr. Bush's War."  That changed, of course.

Because Grammar

Personally, I never use this form unless the sarcasm dial is set to 11.

"Calm down! You're being too emotional!"

Yeah. That works. I can't wait for these people to be in charge of my colonoscopy.

Four Days

"I have too much ammunition," said no one, ever.

It's National Ammo Day. If it were National Turkey Day, I'd post a picture of the turkeys that walk through my woods. If it were National Bobcat Day I could . . . well, bobcats being bobcats, I couldn't post a picture, but I could explain how fricking scary night-time bobcat noises can be. But if I posted a picture of my waterproof ammo boxes, you know what would happen.

So here's a generic picture of what I think may be ammo cans, holding what I think may actually be ammunition. I don't know. Having stuff like this in your house would be dangerous and irresponsible.

Perhaps a bit harsh . . .

. . . but nevertheless true.

Five Days

Seven Days (Also, Caturday)

Just so.

Fouad Ajami, in the Wall Street Journal:

Forgive the personal reference, but from the very beginning of Mr. Obama's astonishing rise, I felt that I was witnessing something old and familiar. My advantage owed nothing to any mastery of American political history. I was guided by my immersion in the political history of the Arab world and of a life studying Third World societies.

In 2008, seeing the Obama crowds in Portland, Denver and St. Louis spurred memories of the spectacles that had attended the rise and fall of Arab political pretenders. I had lived through the era of the Egyptian leader Gamal Abdul Nasser. He had emerged from a military cabal to become a demigod, immune to judgment. His followers clung to him even as he led the Arabs to a catastrophic military defeat in the Six Day War of 1967. He issued a kind of apology for his performance. But his reign was never about policies and performance. It was about political magic.

Eight Days

Your Fairy God-Bama

From Drudge.

The Oncoming Storm Begins

"I'm a doctor. But probably not the one you expected."

Nine Days

Stupid Smart People

From our "Solutions to Problems No One Has" comes what's being called a "smart trench coat,"  sold by a company called "Motiif."  No, that's not a typo, and yes, of course it was.  Because . . . k001!

In any event, the thing, which is itself called "M" (get it?  You know, like Bernard Lee or Judy Dench) is described thusly:

. . . the coat offers a built-in 4G data connection and smartphone charger wrapped in a sleek, waterproof design. An available smartphone app will integrate with the coat and provide you with weather information and advise you if and when you should wear the M.

There's only one problem: it's not a trench coat.  Here's what the thing looks like.

That's not a trench coat.  THIS is a trench coat.

Here's the thing.  If Bogie had worn that thing up above, Baby would have laughed.

Ten Days

"Vampire Hunter" Was One Thing, But Really?

More HERE:

"According to building archives, the word democrat was used because Lincoln was an advocate for democracy—the political or social equality of all people," campus officials stated in a press release. "The word was not chosen to reflect a political affiliation. … Northeastern Illinois University recognizes the context that this plaque was created and intends to uphold its integrity."

11 Days

The Affordable Care Act: Everything You Need to Know to Follow the Debate

Veterans Day

Fourteen Days

Your Foolish Weekly Rituals Bore Me. Your Liver Will Be Delicious.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Tick, tick, tick . . . .

In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming

Plainly We're Missing Something

Obama calls Netanyahu

Reuters reports:

President Barack Obama telephoned Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Friday to discuss international talks on Iran's nuclear program, the White House said in a statement.

"The President provided the Prime Minister with an update on negotiations in Geneva and underscored his strong commitment to preventing Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon, which is the aim of the ongoing negotiations," the White House said.

"The President and Prime Minister agreed to continue to stay in touch on this issue."

The President reportedly told Mr. Netanyahu, "If you like your security, you can keep your security.  Period."

Does Smaug Have Enough Gold?

Answering the important questions.

"Strive for low impact angles to reduce droplet impact intensity . . ."

More HERE.

"Welcome to the Presidential Suite . . . .

. . . complete with all the usual amenities, plus our signature hobo. Enjoy your stay!"

A Modest Proposal

The Fiscal Times reports:

Some 20 million Americans now have government-paid cellphones, along with a modest number of minutes of use a month, also taxpayer paid. The program, known as Lifeline, started in the 1980s with landlines, switched to mostly bare boned phone/text wireless models and soon will offer more sophisticated phones with Internet access.

[snip]

Qualifying for a free phone is simple enough. If anyone in a household takes part in any government assistance program—from food stamps to unemployment—or if the household income is below federal poverty guidelines, a free phone is available. For example, ever since the law allowed able-bodied people with income at or below the poverty line to be eligible for food stamps, a growing number of college students have qualified. As such, they’re “pre-approved” for free-cellphones.

We're all in favor of such Government programs designed to bring basic services to those who would otherwise go without. Here in Beautiful Fauquier County, for example, we reside in an area under-served by Eastern European prostitutes. Surely there can be no dispute that sex is a more basic need than, say, texting smiley-faces.

We Have No Idea What You're Talking About

We've never even heard of "fat-shaming."  No, really.  The elephant has been the symbol of the Republican Party since time out of mind!  And "elephant in the room" is a common expression for some important but overlooked matter that no one wants to talk about.  And certainly no one has been really talking about the Governor of New Jersey lately.  So we just want to correct that.  Oh, wait!  Chris Christie is overweight?  See?  We didn't even know that!

Moe Lane thinks this "party symbol" play-on-words thing might just catch on, and has a suggestion of his own.

"College Debt Could Delay Retirement for Young Grads"

You think? I really don't care when these "Millennials" get to retire, so long as they keep paying for my Social Security, and continue ponying up the cash for health insurance they don't need, so I can visit the podiatrist.

Chesterton Understood

From All Things Considered:

Quite equally subtle and spiritual is the idea at the back of laughing at foreigners. It concerns the almost torturing truth of a thing being like oneself and yet not like oneself. Nobody laughs at what is entirely foreign; nobody laughs at a palm tree. But it is funny to see the familiar image of God disguised behind the black beard of a Frenchman or the black face of a Negro. There is nothing funny in the sounds that are wholly inhuman, the howling of wild beasts or of the wind. But if a man begins to talk like oneself, but all the syllables come out different, then if one is a man one feels inclined to laugh, though if one is a gentleman one resists the inclination.

I'm embarrassed by how long it's been . . . .

. . . since I had occasion to point out how cool Miss Julie is:

He did not care what anyone thought. He did not care to count the calories in his pie. He did not have a cell phone ringing, was not taking a photo of his pie and tweeting it. He merely wanted to enjoy dessert, his book, and let no one else’s opinion on his appearance get in the way of his enjoyment.

Plus: Zombie Cat

"Hwæt!" You keep using that word . . . .

. . . I do not think it means what you think it means.

Brilliant!

More HERE.

If only there were some precedent -- some model the Government could have followed . . .

. . . in setting up a system to sell insurance to millions of Americans.

Decided to Check Out "Healthcare.gov" to see what all the fuss was about . . . .

Just remember . . . .

We Were All Young in 1967

2 Timothy 4:3-7

For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own likings, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander into myths.

As for you, always be steady, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

For I am already on the point of being sacrificed; the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Walking Your Cats on Caturday

Pet Taxi

This exists.  Because cats driving drunk are a menace.  Brought to you as a public service by Mothers Against Drunk Felids.

Six Percent of Democrats Believe the President is The Anti-Christ

I'm not making this up.  I'm not even saying it myself, since that would make me a racist.  I'm just quoting the results from a poll by some outfit called "Public Policy Polling," which touts its ability to provide "Highly Accurate Polling Across the Country."

The poll, released back in April, purports to be a survey of various conspiracy theories.  You can yourself peruse their data, but my personal favorite is Question 13, which asks:  "Do you believe that shape-shifting reptilian people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies, or not?"  Four percent said "yes," while 7% allowed as how they weren't sure.

Well-informed readers will immediately see that the question is (purposely?) misleading, since Silurians aren't shape-shifters.

When You've Lost The New Yorker . . . .