Primary School Play: Scarface!

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Yes, yes, yes. I know.

Extending the Hand of Friendship

So There!

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Chag Kasher V'Same'ach, Be'ahavat Yisrael

Cats Hate Water

Except this one, which has a streamlined head for swimming and webbed feet. Ladies and Gentlemen, the "flat-headed" cat.

Oremus pro Pontifice nostro Benedicto

O God, Shepherd and Ruler of all Thy faithful people, look mercifully upon Thy servant Benedict, whom Thou hast chosen as shepherd to preside over Thy Church. Grant him, we beseech Thee, that by his word and example, he may edify those over whom he hath charge, so that together with the flock committed to him, may he attain everlasting life. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

You're In Good Hands

TSA Security Officers instructed not to touch your monkey.

SEC employees sit by watching as citizens get screwed.

Hot Chick Writes About Sex

More HERE.

In Case You Were Wondering

That to which we refer as "Western Civilization" is superior in all respects to other civilizations, whether speaking temporally or geographically.

Western Civilization is based upon Catholicism.

Everything good in Western Civilization is based on Catholic Doctrine.

That which Western Civilization replaced was horrid and wicked.

Henry Cardinal Manning wrote:

Certainty admits of no degrees. Doubt may; but certainty excludes doubt and all its gradations.

To be moderate, cautious, forbearing, self-mistrusting, and considerate of opponents in all doubtful matters, is a virtue; but in matters that are certain, to fail in saying that they are so, is to betray the truth.

To treat certainties as uncertainties in mathematics is not intellectual, in revelation is unbelief. The only moderation possible in matters of theological certainty is to speak the truth in charity ...

To diminish the precision of truths which are certain, or to suffer them to be treated as dubious, or to veil them by economies, or to modify them to meet the prejudices of men or the traditions of public opinion is not moderation, but an infidelity to the truth, and an immoderate fear, or an immoderate respect for some human authority.

Well, THAT'S Mature

If you're not following this, then congratulations on having a real life.

But if you are following this, you know that having passed the Senate health care bill, now signed into law by the President (in the company of Joe "This is a big fucking deal" Biden), the House sent a raft of amendments to the Senate. These "fixes" are all part of the creaky complicated deal that secured passage in the House.

Senate rules permit the offering of amendments, while Senate Democrats must pass the precise bill sent from the House -- every jot and tittle. Democrats must vote down each and every such amendment, no matter what it says. So the Republicans have decided that if they can't stop the bill from passing (and they can't) they might as well have some fun, and embarrass their Democrat colleagues while they're at it.

Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okl.), for example, will introduce an amendment titled "No Erectile Dysfunction Drugs To Sex Offenders," to prohibit convicted child molesters, rapists, and sex offenders from getting erectile dysfunction medication from their health care providers. But the Democrats must vote "no," thus generating tasty political ads in the Fall. Other possibilities come easily to mind. How about "Elder Care Protection" mandating that necessary health care not be withdrawn from citizens over age 70 based solely on age?

First, They Came for the Fish

So Long as You Vote Against Murder Before Voting For It.

Bart Stupak at a town hall meeting in November, 2009:

Well, THAT certainly explains a great deal.

Welcome to the Future

Bloomberg reports:

March 22 (Bloomberg) -- The bond market is saying that it’s safer to lend to Warren Buffett than Barack Obama.

Two-year notes sold by the billionaire’s Berkshire Hathaway Inc. in February yield 3.5 basis points less than Treasuries of similar maturity, according to data compiled by Bloomberg.

You need to ponder that: the Government of the United States, with the power to tax and the power to print money, is considered a worse credit risk than a corporation. Think about it. Perhaps the proper scary analogy is not that the people at the DMV are now in charge of your health care, but that the people in charge of the your health care are the same guys who run the Treasury.

The Bishops' Letter: From Conception to Natural Death

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops yesterday sent the following letter to Members of Congress:

Dear Representative:

For decades, the United States Catholic bishops have supported universal health care. The Catholic Church teaches that health care is a basic human right, essential for human life and dignity. Our community of faith provides health care to millions, purchases health care for tens of thousands and addresses the failings of our health care system in our parishes, emergency rooms and shelters. This is why we as bishops continue to insist that health care reform which truly protects the life, dignity, consciences and health of all is a moral imperative and urgent national priority.

We are convinced that the Senate legislation now presented to the House of Representatives on a “take it or leave it” basis sadly fails this test and ought to be opposed. Why do we take this position, when we have a long record of support for health care reform? Our fundamental objections can be summarized in two points:

1. Health care reform must protect life and conscience, not threaten them. The Senate bill extends abortion coverage, allows federal funds to pay for elective abortions (for example, through a new appropriation for services at Community Health Centers that bypasses the Hyde amendment), and denies adequate conscience protection to individuals and institutions. Needed health care reform must keep in place the longstanding and widely supported federal policy that neither elective abortion nor plans which include elective abortion can be paid for with federal funds. Simply put, health care reform ought to continue to apply both parts of the Hyde amendment, no more and no less. The House adopted this policy by a large bipartisan majority, establishing the same protections that govern Medicaid, SCHIP, the Federal Employee Health Benefits Program and other federal health programs.

Despite claims to the contrary, the status quo prohibits the federal government from funding or facilitating plans that include elective abortion. The Senate bill clearly violates this prohibition by providing subsidies to purchase such plans. The House bill provided that no one has to pay for other people’s abortions, while this Senate bill does not. While the Senate provides for one plan without abortion coverage in each exchange, those who select another plan in an exchange to better meet the special needs of their families will be required to pay a separate mandatory abortion fee into a fund exclusively for abortions. This new federal requirement is a far more direct imposition on the consciences of those who do not wish to pay for the destruction of unborn human life than anything currently in federal law.

It is not those who require that the Hyde Amendment be fully applied who are obstructing reform, since this is the law of the land and the will of the American people. Rather, those who insist on expanding federal participation in abortion, require people to pay for other people’s abortions, and refuse to incorporate essential conscience protections (both within and beyond the abortion context) are threatening genuine reform. With conscience protection as with abortion funding, our goal is simply to preserve the status quo.

2. Universal coverage should be truly universal. People should never be denied coverage because they can’t afford it, because of where they live or work, or because of where they come from and when they got here. The Senate bill would not only continue current law that denies legal immigrants access to Medicaid for five years, but also prohibit undocumented immigrants from buying insurance for their families in the exchanges using their own money. These provisions could leave immigrants and their families worse off, and also hurt the public health of our nation.

Now, after a year of divisive political combat, members of the House are told that they can advance health care reform only by adopting the Senate legislation as is, including these fundamental flaws. The House leadership is ignoring the pleas of pro-life members for essential changes in the legislation. Apparently they will not even try to address the serious problems on abortion funding, conscience protection and fair treatment of immigrants.

We are bishops, not politicians, policy experts or legislative tacticians. We are also pastors, teachers, and citizens. At this point of decision, we cannot compromise on basic moral principles. We can only urge -- and hope and pray -- that the House of Representatives will still find the will and the means to adopt health care reform that protects the life, dignity, conscience and health of all. The legislation the House adopted, while not perfect, came closer to meeting these criteria. The Senate legislation simply does not meet them.

With deep regret, but clear in our moral judgment, we are compelled to continue to urge House members to oppose the Senate bill unless these fundamental flaws are remedied. At this critical moment, we urge Representatives to take the steps necessary to ensure that health care reform respects the life and dignity of all, from conception to natural death.

(Very Nearly) LIVE! From Capitol Hill

Via the Divine Professor Althouse, where you'll find more.

Woman, Married Five Days, Shoots Husband

Then it gets weird.

Catholic Nancy Goes 0 for 3

Where to start, OH! where to start.

Yesterday was not the "Feast Day of St. Joseph the Worker." That was back at the beginning of May. Yesterday, instead, was the Solemnity of St. Joseph, Husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The Speaker of the House thus apparently missed the opportunity for a roast beef sandwich for lunch, despite it being a Friday in Lent.

Nancy's prayers "to" St. Joseph are misdirected and should have been returned as undeliverable. Perhaps her Latin is rusty, and she doesn't remember what "ora pro nobis" actually means.

And finally, while referring to support from various Religious (yes, yes, I know you know that they're the usual suspects), she somehow failed to mention the teaching of any Bishop. It's possible that neither Archbishop Niederauer nor Archbishop Wuerl were available to consult. About this very matter Archbishop Chaput wrote:

[P]eople who claim to be Catholic and then publicly undercut the teaching and leadership of their bishops spread confusion, cause grave damage to the believing community and give the illusion of moral cover to a version of health care “reform” that is not simply bad, but dangerous.

So let's sum up. I screw up, can't get to Confession before Mass, kneel in my pew during Communion, and earn Father's raised eyebrow during the recessional. Meanwhile, Catholic Nancy prays to St. Joseph for federal funding for murder.

One of us is doing this wrong.

Our Paris Bureau

We occasionally receive email from readers wondering if -- behind this modest facade -- we truly do maintain a staff of reporters, editors, theologians, and sketchy web-surfers. The answer is yes, we do. But we had hoped to keep our brick-and-mortar outposts under the radar. Alas, the Old Timer, on his recent trip to the land of grapes and cheese and skinny women, espied our Paris digs, there in the Latin Quarter, on Boulevard Saint-Germain. The goal of our Parisian agents is the restoration of the legitimate monarchy. By which we mean the Merovingians, of course.

Click to embiggen.

St. Patrick, Pray For Us

The Princess & The Apple

The Anchoress -- because she's a good person -- believes the image on the apple is just a mistake or coincidence, and is unintended. The Divine Ms. Althouse -- because she's not nearly such a good person -- thinks it's Marx.

I think it's Rasputin.

The Bennet Girls are Ready . . . are You?

We Beg to Differ

“Many people like the idea of being genderless.”

Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Genus Lynx . . .

. . . for they are subtle, and quick to anger. The admonition applies to both lynx lynx and lynx rufus.

We still want a pet Bobcat.

Bibi vs. Barack

One might have expected America's enemies to test a new president, and they have: Iran continues to develop atomic weapons with impunity, China does what it wants, Pakistan continues to play both ends against the middle, Hugo Chavez consolidates an anti-American forward base in our back yard.

But friends must also test. Our friends need to know what will happen if they are forced to dial 911. Will two aircraft carriers and a division of Marines arrive, or will Joe Biden be sent on a fact-finding mission? Will stealth bombers obliterate Tehran, or will 12-party talks be scheduled for Geneva next year?

Anyone who thinks that the announcement of new Israeli settlements in East Jerusalem just as Joe Biden arrived was a coincidence is an idiot. Rather than a patient, reasoned response to a long-standing Israeli policy, Biden and Secretary of State Clinton got their panties all in a bunch. We suspect that Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu accomplished what he had hoped to accomplish: expose the Americans as feckless, unreliable allies; bolster his standing with Israelis and supporters of Israel around the world; and prepare the State of Israel to -- once again -- rely largely upon itself to defend itself.

The difference between Netanyahu and Obama is that Bibi is a serious man, who knows his people face an existential threat, and is ready to do what is necessary. The President of the United States is none of those things.

You Know They Think You're Stupid, Right?

As it turns out, the President's latest poster-girl for health care, Natoma Canfield, is actually being treated at the Cleveland Clinic, and seems in no danger of losing her home.

Our favorite remains Representative Louise Slaughter:

It's our favorite because ObamaCare includes no dental coverage.

Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.

Matthew 7:15-27:

"Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.

"Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits. Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.

"Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.

"Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell--and great was its fall.

Matthew 16:13-20:

Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?" And they said, "Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets."

He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"

Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

And Jesus said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.

"I also say to you that you are Peter, the rock, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven."

Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom

G&S Needs a Burmese Cat

March 12, 1922

Happy birthday, Jack. Rest in peace.

“Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.”

"It is not my fault that certain so-called bohemian elements have found in my writings something to hang their peculiar beatnik theories on."

"I'm not a beatnik, I'm a Catholic."

Once Upon a Time, We Were All 18

Once upon a time, it was 1969.

While Driving, Do NOT . . . .

1. Drink;
2. Talk on the phone;
3. Text;
4. Read;
5. Shave your "bikini area."

Wait, what?!

I Kid You Not

From FedBizOps.gov, a service of the Government of the United States:

Solicitation Number:
EDOOIG-10-000004
Notice Type:
Combined Synopsis/Solicitation
Synopsis:
Added: Mar 08, 2010 10:39 am

The U.S. Department of Education (ED) intends to purchase twenty-seven (27) REMINGTON BRAND MODEL 870 POLICE 12/14P MOD GRWC XS4 KXCS SF. RAMAC #24587 GAUGE: 12 BARREL: 14" - PARKERIZED CHOKE: MODIFIED SIGHTS: GHOST RING REAR WILSON COMBAT; FRONT - XS CONTOUR BEAD SIGHT STOCK: KNOXX REDUCE RECOIL ADJUSTABLE STOCK FORE-END: SPEEDFEED SPORT-SOLID - 14" LOP are designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.

The required date of delivery is March 22, 2010.

Interested sources must submit detailed technical capabilities and any other information that demonstrates their ability to meet the requirements above, no later than March 12, 2010 at 12 PM, E.S.T. Any quotes must be submitted electronically to the attention of Holly.Le@ed.gov, Contract Specialist (Contract Operations Group), with a concurrent copy to Sherese.Lewis@ed.gov, Contracting Officer (Contract Operations Group).

I've not the slightest doubt that there's a compelling reason that the United States Department of Education needs 27 of these:

I just can't imagine what it would be.

Supreme Court 1, President 0

It's very important in war, in politics, and in child-rearing to pick carefully the hills you're willing to die taking. THIS is very unwise.

Oh, Stop

Is this sort of thing really necessary? "Harry Smith Colonoscopy to Air on `Early Show.'"

I have a digital video camera, digital editing equipment, a blog, and a very large boil that needs to be lanced. Watch this space.

In Case You Missed It

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

What Happens When a Red Smoke Ring Collides With a Blue Smoke Ring?

Now You Know

Girl Babies Don't Count

Gendercide:

Boys are slightly more likely to die in infancy than girls. To compensate, more boys are born than girls so there will be equal numbers of young men and women at puberty. In all societies that record births, between 103 and 106 boys are normally born for every 100 girls. The ratio has been so stable over time that it appears to be the natural order of things.

That order has changed fundamentally in the past 25 years. In China the sex ratio for the generation born between 1985 and 1989 was 108, already just outside the natural range. For the generation born in 2000-04, it was 124 (ie, 124 boys were born in those years for every 100 girls). According to CASS the ratio today is 123 boys per 100 girls. These rates are biologically impossible without human intervention.

From The Economist

Our Kind of Girl

You've Just Crossed Over Into . . . . .

$9,800,000,000,000

Ecumenism

Father Z reports:

I understand that Anglican Archbishop Rowan Williams may soon issue a document Romanorum coetibus which will create a safe haven in the very loose Anglican embrace where the editor and readers of The Tablet and NCR, at their request mind you, can keep their now traditional pottery cups, big puppets, out of tune guitars and the ICEL translation presently in use, as well as gain the long-desired free election of bishopesses. All without the spirit-repressing domination of Rome!

It's not nice to make fun of our misled Christian brothers and sisters. But sometimes it's necessary.

Color Me Your Color, Baby

I Think We're Done Here: Obama Doesn't Understand Insurance

The Great & Powerful Oz tells the parable of auto insurance at the health care confab:

The President of the United States doesn't know the difference between liability insurance and comprehensive or collision insurance. He doesn't understand that this is entirely a matter of choice and actuarial computation. Reduced to simplest terms, the President chose to purchase insurance that paid out if he rear-ended someone else; he chose NOT to purchase insurance that would pay out if someone rear-ended him. He chose to self-insure, or rely on another's liability insurance, for damage that was not his fault. Not only is he still outraged, but the tenor of his remarks makes clear that he assumes all of his listeners will be similarly astonished at this obvious miscarriage of justice at the hands of manipulative, greedy capitalists.

A pack of children has come upon an interesting artifact. They are ignorant of its nature. They hit it and bang it and poke it and make up games to play with it. They are briefly surprised and astonished when it explodes.

Headline of the Day

"Gay Catholic Ex-Stripper Awaits Birth of Twins Carried by Husband's Sister"

There's an App for That

Of course there is!

Well Done!

Mark Twain said, "A lie can get halfway around the world before the truth can even get its boots on."

Clever law professor + gullible 1Ls + WiFi + email/chat/Twitter = "US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts Considering Stepping Down."

"Daddy? Tell Us Again About When There Was a President."

The Perfect Story

Sex.  Incest. Castration. Animal Rights. Celebrity.

What more could you ask for in a story?

Think About It

News From the Real World

"El Paso County Sheriff's Deputies on the scene tried to contain the emu but they say the bird attacked a deputy, ripping off a part of his pants."

"Judge Kerry O'Brien said it was another example of violence in a night spot involving a glassing."

Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!

Fake AP Style Book

"When writing about girl sports, remember to pretend they're as important as real sports or we'll get letters."

There'll Always be an England

We love the Brits. We really do. We need to send some of our politicians over there for training. Or maybe we could work a trade.

A bit of background first. Remember Herman van Rompuy? Me neither. But apparently he's "President" of the "European Union." <--- Those aren't scare quotes, they're term-of-art quotes, because we're not exactly sure what either of those terms actually means. [Do you suppose that, centuries from now, historians will quip that it was not particularly European, and not really much of a union?] Nigel Farage is head of the United Kingdom Independence Party, and a member of the "European Parliament."

Here is Mr. Farage:

I Wonder What the Hold Music Is?

"For advice on confessing, press one. To confess, press two. To listen to some confessions, press three."

No!  Really!  We're not making this up!  "We're sorry, but Christ is busy right now.  Your confession is important to Him.  All calls will be answered in order."  They must do that, right?  Even if His capacity is infinite, there can only be a finite number of telephone circuits.  If the call is lost halfway through, do you receive absolution anyway?  How about penance?  "Please hold while we connect you to one of our penance technicians."

Here's more:

The site was set up this month at the beginning of the Christian fasting period of Lent by a group of Catholics working for AABAS, a small Paris company that provides telephone messaging services . . . . It does not offer absolution for sins, which only a priest can provide, said the creator, Camille, who asked for her second name not be cited because she had received threats about the service.

Hey, wait! No absolution? We're pretty confident that it's not the priest who provides absolution, and we're certain that "Camille" isn't actually The Creator. Who ARE these guys, anyway?

"In case of serious or mortal sins -- that is, sins that have cut you off from Christ our Lord, it is indispensable to confide in a priest." "Confide?" I've got buddies I can "confide" in. In case of mortal sin, I don't need to "confide" in a priest, I need to get my ass into that booth. Sheesh.

We're encouraged at least that the Conference of French Bishops has warned that the call-in service has "no approval from the Catholic Church in France." On the other hand, that sounds a bit like a warning of trademark infringement; you know, like "accept no substitutes."

Read the whole article, and have fun playing "what's wrong with this picture?"

Chat Roulette

chat roulette from Casey Neistat on Vimeo.