"The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."

                --Archilochus

Glenn Reynolds:
"Heh."

Barack Obama:
"Impossible to transcend."

Albert A. Gore, Jr.:
"An incontinent brute."

Rev. Jeremiah Wright:
"God damn the Gentleman Farmer."

Friends of GF's Sons:
"Is that really your dad?"

Kickball Girl:
"Keeping 'em alive until 7:45."

Hired Hand:
"I think . . . we forgot the pheasant."




I'm an
Alcoholic Yeti
in the
TTLB Ecosystem



Sunday, February 28, 2010

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

The International Olympic Committee has its panties in a bunch because the Canadian Women's Hockey Team celebrated their victory with a brewski or three.


Aside from suggesting that the IOC members get a life, we have one observation: in two years, at the Summer Games, there will, for the first time, be Women's Rugby. Hide the gin, IOC, hide the gin.

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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Your Cat is Tired of Walking Up Those Stairs


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Friday, February 26, 2010

We've All Been There

"The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze."

H/T to TLDG.

St Jude, pray for us.

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Thursday, February 25, 2010

Federal Appellate Court Ruling

The United States Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit has ruled, inter alia, that "It was not enough that the zombies were loud and may have been bothering people."

More from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune.

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Monday, February 22, 2010

Basics of Marketing

"Having customers die on us isn't exactly good publicity".

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Yoga Cat

"Whenever Caturday would be celebrated on the day prior to the first Sunday of Lent, it may be transferred, at the discretion of the local ordinary, to the following Monday."


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Two Obama Voters on an Escalator


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Friday, February 19, 2010

Why Do We Love Alex the K?

Kozinski, C.J., dissenting:
This is an extraordinary case: Our court approves, without blinking, a police sweep of a person’s home without a warrant, without probable cause, without reasonable suspicion and without exigency—in other words, with nothing at all to support the entry except the curiosity police always have about what they might find if they go rummaging around a suspect’s home. Once inside, the police managed to turn up a gun “in plain view”—stuck between two cushions of the living room couch—and we reward them by upholding the search.

Did I mention that this was an entry into somebody’s home, the place where the protections of the Fourth Amendment are supposedly at their zenith? The place where the “government bears a heavy burden of demonstrating that exceptional circumstances justif[y] departure from the warrant requirement.” United States v. Licata, 761 F.2d 537, 543 (9th Cir. 1985). The place where warrantless searches are deemed “presumptively unreasonable.” Payton v. New York, 445 U.S. 573, 586 (1980).

[SNIP]

It is also the only case I know of, in any jurisdiction covered by the Fourth Amendment, where invasion of the home has been approved based on no showing whatsoever. Nada. Gar nichts. Rien du tout. Bupkes.

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It is Worse Than Theologically Questionable, it's Silly

The "Environmental Outreach Committee" of the Archdiocese of Washington has issued something called "Lenten Carbon Fast 2010":
As Catholic Christians we have a responsibility to be wise stewards of God’s Creation and each of us must decide how we can improve our stewardship to safeguard God’s Creation now and for future generations. The Archdiocese Environmental Outreach Committee suggests the following list of 40 carbon fasting actions everyone can consider as a part of your Lenten preparation for the Easter season. Each of these actions will reduce our production of climate change pollution and help to preserve God’s great gift of Creation.
In calendar form, it provides suggestions for proper environmentally sensitive actions to take on each day of Lent. Next Thursday, for example, in lieu of prayer, fasting, alms-giving or penance, it helpfully suggests instead that you "Run the dishwasher only with a full load, and skip the energy-intensive drying cycle by choosing the “air-dry” option; or just open the door overnight."

Of course this is silly and embarrassing, and leads some of us to be grateful that we are not subject to the Archdiocese. But it seems also to entirely miss the point of Lent, which is not to "do good" (which we ought to be doing every day), but instead to offer up to God some good thing, as a sacrifice in pitifully insufficient imitation of The Lord. Thus, while it would be a good thing for your humble and obedient servant to give up smoking, it would NOT be an appropriate Lenten sacrifice to cease doing a bad thing, and offer it up. What sort of sacrificial gift is a pile of cigarette butts?

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Is the Internet Cool, or What?




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IM IN UR COMPUTR, AN UR ASS IZ FAT

Boingboing reports:
According to the filings in Blake J Robbins v Lower Merion School District (PA) et al, the laptops issued to high-school students in the well-heeled Philly suburb have webcams that can be covertly activated by the schools' administrators, who have used this facility to spy on students and even their families. The issue came to light when the Robbins's child was disciplined for "improper behavior in his home" and the Vice Principal used a photo taken by the webcam as evidence. The suit is a class action, brought on behalf of all students issued with these machines.
Think about this for a moment, and recall that minors have been charged with crimes relating to child pornography as a consequence of posting or texting pictures of themselves. So if a school administrator flips on the webcam, and captures a picture of a sophomore drying her hair . . . . .

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Try To Follow Me Here

Item One: Fox's Family Guy does an episode in which they mock folks with Down's Syndrome.

Item Two: Governor Palin, who knows something about that topic, takes exception.

Item Three: It turns out that the voice actress who played the character in question herself actually has Down's Syndrome, and kind-of-sort-of took exception to Mrs. Palin having taken exception, wondering if the Governor has a sense of humor: "In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life." This the actress sent via email to the New York Times, which dutifully turned it into a story and interview.

Item Four: These events are greeted by the unhinged wing of the blogosphere as one might expect -- "Good Gaia! Did you see what that idiot Palin has done now?!!!" See, e.g., HERE and HERE.

We trust, dear readers, that you recognize the pattern. If I -- afflicted with European parents -- concoct a Minstrel show, complete with the de rigueur buck-and-wing, and peppered with the N-Bomb, then it's a hate crime. If Chris Rock does it, it's transcendent social commentary, and hilarious to boot. Most important: if you don't understand why, then you're an ignorant racist.


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FBI Doesn't Understand the Internet

As everyone knows by now, yesterday a crazy guy flew his Piper Cherokee into an IRS office building in Austin, Texas.

It is said that before doing so, crazy guy posted a "manifesto" on the Internet. The FBI asked that it be taken down. Why they would do that is a bit mysterious, since any relevant technical information is available from the host. We presume the reason has something to do with the notion that if left up it might incite another crazy person, or that people ought not to be rewarded with attention -- even posthumously -- as a consequence of doing unspeakable things.

If that's the case, then the Federal Bureau of Investigation simply doesn't understand the Internet.


Read the whole thing at The Smoking Gun.

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This Just In

Francisco Franco still dead, Gordon Lightfoot not so much.


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Just So

"Israel never responds, never confirms and never denies."

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Monday, February 15, 2010

Why . . . . . .

. . . . is my mailbox full of complaints?  I took the weekend off.  I'm allowed.  Get a life.  Sheesh.

When You Least Expect It

Things R looking up!

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Friday, February 12, 2010

No Snow = Global Warming


What a View!

Associated Press reports:
Two astronauts from the US shuttle Endeavour have successfully completed the first phase of installing a new observation deck deep in space.

[snip]

Tranquility - named after the Apollo 11 lunar landing site - will provide spectacular panoramic views of Earth and help crew members monitor space walks and docking operations.  It can accommodate two crew members at a time and is equipped with portable workstations that can control station and robotic activities.  Six windows are arrayed along its sides and another on top, all protected against the impact of tiny meteorites.
This should make for some spectacular photography. HERE's the latest picture from the observation deck, just before transmission was lost.

Circling Fins on the Horizon

Blood in the water.

This Just In: Obama & Biden Win in Iraq!

From Greyhawk:  "There's an odd thing about this administration claiming credit for victory in Iraq - half the country knows Biden and Obama had nothing to do with it, and the other half will never admit there is a victory to claim. However, since they think we're all stupid, I guess the White House wants to give it a shot."

G&S Likes Sandra Fish

We've never heard of "Politics Daily," no doubt because it seems to have something to do with AOL.  [I remember years ago my buddy Mike excitedly telling me that I had to check out this "America On Line" thing.  It hadn't been too long before that that he'd become very excited about a 16k RAM card.  But I digress.]

We've also never heard of Sandra Fish.  But we like Sandra Fish, a woman of a certain age, who's written "My Left Breast Put Fancy TSA Scanner to the Test."

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Time to Go With Burn Phones

When I was young, telephones had dials, bank accounts had passbooks, and people paid for stuff with cash or wrote a check -- you know, like with a pen.  When I was old enough to work a bit with my father, I found that he kept his personal accounts at one bank, his business accounts at a second bank, and his payroll account at a third.  There was also a very imposing safe in his office where he kept the 2,000 silver dollars he and his poker buddies played with.  There were other things in that safe, none of them crisp and new, and none of them with sequential serial numbers.

From time to time I "did the payroll."  This involved a process that began with a pile of time cards, and ended with individual pay envelopes.  There was money in each envelope, bills and coins and pennies.  The dozen or so men on the payroll had worked this week, it was now Friday, and they quite reasonably expected to be paid;  with money.  My favorite part of "doing the payroll" was filling out the sheet that ended up telling you how many twenties, how many tens, how many fives, how many ones, how many quarters, dimes, nickles and pennies you were going to need.  Then I wrote a check on one bank, took it down to another and deposited it, and gave a teller at the second bank a withdrawal slip that specified how I wanted the cash.

I asked my father one time why he kept his money in three different banks, since it certainly caused inconvenience from time to time.  "Because my money is none of those fuckers' business," was the practical answer.

Today, bank accounts consist of electrons, and people pay for stuff . . . . with electrons.  Your identity may be stolen because your financial identity inheres in a bunch of ones and zeros stored away . . . someplace.  Or perhaps nowhere.  Telephones not only have no dials, but they fit in your pocket and they're always on; a great convenience; a technological marvel.  And with GPS, it's now possible for you to instantly know precisely where you are in the big, wide world of objective reality.  Even without GPS, the cell-phone company knows more or less where you are whenever your phone is turned on.  And they know it's you.

I confidently speculate that my father would not have carried a cell phone that broadcast his voice into the ether and told the phone company where he was:  "What I say and where I am is none of those fuckers' business."

My father would not have been surprised to learn that the Government of the United States (known to my father as "The Suits") holds a different opinion.  This morning, the Third Circuit Court of Appeals will hear oral argument in case number 08-4227, In the Matter of the Application of the United States of America For An Order Directing A Provider of Electronic Communication Service To Disclose Records to the Government.  In that case, the Government argues that you have no "reasonable expectation of privacy" regarding the location of your cell phone.  Thus, no warrant is necessary before the Government can compel your telephone company to turn over its records showing where your cell phone was from time to time.  Learn much more HERE.

But this, you say, is only a problem if you're robbing a bank, or burgling someone's home.  So long as you have nothing criminal to hide from the Government, what's the problem?  Why do I care if the Government knows where I am right now?

Simple.  It's none of the fuckers' business.

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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Beyond Parody

Democrats, leftists in general, and our academic elites are now officially declared beyond parody.

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OK, OK. So it Also Snowed in Philly

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

From the Financial Times

Never have such talented and intelligent people done so little for so few.

(Registration required, but it's free.)

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Mark Steyn Observes a Curious Intersection

"Big Oil sponsoring Big Breasts for Big Climate."

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Our Masters are NOT Amused

Felony snowball throwing at James Madison University.

Particularly precious is the mental image of the snowplow driver, inside the comfy cab of his big machine, calling the cops in the first place. I'm not personally well-acquainted with any girls who would do that. Sheesh.

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Hanoi, February, 2010


Now that's certainly change. I'm confident that any posters in Hanoi featuring Mr. Bush were quite different. The point is not "See? See! Obama's a Communist!" Instead, the point is this: what has the President of the United States done, or said, or otherwise communicated to the world, that would suggest to someone in Hanoi that his iconic image should be posted at all, let alone just above that of the psychopathic murderer Che Guevara? Just a question. From Samizdata.

Meanwhile, back here at the ranch: remember when dissent and opposition to the President were the highest form of patriotism? That wasn't so long ago. Things sure have changed. According to John Brennan, Assistant to the President and Deputy National Security Advisor for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism, "Politically motivated criticism and unfounded fear-mongering only serve the goals of al-Qaeda." Wow. It sounds as if Mr. Brennan, speaking for the administration, now believes that dissenters, like your humble and obedient servant, are giving aid and comfort to the enemies of the United States. Hmmmm. "Giving aid and comfort to the enemy." We think we've heard that phrase before.

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Monday, February 08, 2010

Everybody Panic, Part Dieux

Attention:  this is NOT a repeat last Friday.  Actually, I guess it is.

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We Apologize in Advance, and Have Scheduled a Trip to Confession

But, really, how can we pass up a headline like, "Half-Naked Women Protest Ukrainian Election"? Sure, there are pictures and a video at the link, but nothing actually salacious or erotic, simply healthy, young political activists exercising their right to . . . wait . . . you already clicked on the link.  Pig.


Dignified (Politically Ineffective) Ukrainian Woman

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"If We Just Got Rid of All the . . . . "

"If we just sent the [FILL IN THE BLANK] home [from Congress], we could get this done in a week."

If you fill in the blank with blacks, women, gays, Jews, or Muslims, then there are simply no words to describe the depth of your evil. If, on the other hand, you're an elected member of Congress from New Hampshire, and you fill in the blank with "men," then it's obvious and amusing -- titter, titter. What a boob.


There's only one possible mature, adult way to respond: Anne Heche for Congress!

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Indeed


Yup. It's real.

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Sunday, February 07, 2010

Snow? Did You Say Snow?

Why, yes. In response to multiple inquiries, we did indeed get a bit of snow here at the foot of my mountain in Fauquier County, Virginia. We lost power about midnight Friday. By late Saturday afternoon it was back on. Without power, we did what all well-prepared snow-bound pioneers do, and retired to the warmth of flannel sheets, multiple layers of comforters, and a wood fire. The authorities believe alcohol may have been a factor.

Power restored, we immediately accomplished the two most important tasks: digging out the heat pumps (and thawing them with my flame thrower), and cleaning off the satellite dish.

And here we sit at the top of 800 feet of access road, covered with 30 inches of snow. That's roughly 25,000 cubic feet of snow, or about 200 tons of the stuff.



The picture just above includes both an automobile, and 6 ninjas.

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Democrats (and Republicans) Should Be Very Afraid

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Saturday, February 06, 2010

Piled High & Deeper

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Friday, February 05, 2010

كبير ديك

Passport, the blog by editors of the venerable publication Foreign Policy, includes the following report:
Despite having served for years as a distinguished Pakistani diplomat, Akbar Zeb reportedly cannot receive accreditation as Pakistan's ambassador to Saudi Arabia. The reason, apparently, has nothing to do with his credentials, and everything to do with his name -- which, in Arabic, translates to "biggest dick"[.]

[snip - oww!]

According to this Arabic-language article in the Arab Times, Pakistan had previously floated Zeb's name as ambassador to the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain, only to have him rejected for the same reason. One can only assume that submitting Zeb's name to a number of Arabic-speaking countries is some unique form of punishment designed by the Pakistani Foreign Ministry -- or the result of a particularly egregious cockup.
Anyone laughing will be sent to gladiatorial school.


p.s. Yes, I know the title is slightly wrong.

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Time to Panic III

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Valentine's Day Suggestions

Because nothing says "I love you" like sex in a public restroom.

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FLASHBACK!

August 1, 2003

Washington, D.C. -- House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi released the following statement today on the Bureau of Labor Statistics' announcement that 470,000 people abandoned their job searches in July and that 3.2 million private sector jobs have been lost since President Bush took office:


“The fact is that President Bush’s misguided economic policies have failed to create jobs. Since President Bush took office, the country has lost 3.2 million jobs, the worst record since President Hoover. And today we learned that in July nearly half a million people gave up looking for a job.


“Job losses are taking a real toll on the financial security of American families. While Democrats are fighting for opportunity, jobs, and economic security for working families, Republicans continue to focus on helping those who need help the least.

“According to today’s survey, while the national unemployment rate dropped slightly, it still stands at a near record high. In addition, the unemployment rate for African Americans was still over 11 percent in July, and the unemployment rate for Hispanics was 8.2 percent in July.

“It is time for President Bush and the Republicans to get to work for all Americans, not just the elite few.”

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Time to Panic II

Time to Panic!


Once the power goes off, I'll be sitting here at my desk writing by candlelight, rather like Dr. Zhivago. I keep looking around for Julie Christie, but so far no luck.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Oh, Those Stolid Dutch

The upper house of the Dutch parliament has made a bold move in support of traditional morality.

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We Knew That

Appreciation of small-breasted women provides an evolutionary advantage.

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What?

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Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Awwwww . . . . . . OOPS!

How cute is this story from the Daily Mail: "Three cheetahs spare tiny antelope's life... and play with him instead." The story includes four wonderful photographs by Michel & Christine Denis-Huot, like this one:


The story begins,
Hello little antelope, would you like to play with us?

Coming from three deadly cheetahs, it's the kind of invitation that's best refused - but amazingly, this impala escaped unscathed from its encounter.

Luckily for the youngster, it seems these three male cheetahs simply weren't hungry.
As it turns out, the four photographs used for the story were part of a series of 14 taken of these adorable young cheetahs in Kenya's Masai Mara game reserve.

All 14 photographs are online at a website called "BiosPhoto." You can see all 14 HERE. But, to save you the trouble, here's the last one (click to enlarge):

((c) Michel & Christine Denis-Huot / BIOSPHOTO - USED WITH PERMISSION)

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river.

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Just Sayin', My Birthday is in June

Dismember-Me Plush Zombie Doll.  Available HERE, for the low-low price of $12.99.

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Once Upon a Time in America

The "Million Dollar Quartet" of Sun Records: Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash

The age of Frank Sinatra, Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey was over. Regular people had radios and record players. Regular people liked and sang and listened to country music, which had a story to tell, and gospel music, filled with energy. And young people liked to dance. Fast. But what on God's Green Earth would country/gospel/dance music possibly sound like? Popular music would sound more like Country, Country music would sound more like popular music. Rockabilly? Rock & Roll? Something like that.




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Remember All Those Scrolling Yellow Titles From Star Wars?

Whatever happened to them? Well, now we know.


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Attention on the Firing Line: The Range is Hot

Full-Auto? Check.
Tracers? Check.
Diesel-Filled 50-gal Drums? Check.
Dead of Night? Check.

I guess we're ready, then.


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Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Panic in the Streets

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We Just REPORT the News

The Denver Post headlines its story on delays in receiving food stamps as follows: "Long Delays in Colorado Food Aid May Spur Another Lawsuit"

The story is accompanied by this photograph:


Did we mention that we only REPORT the news?

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It's Groundhog Day!


(Except in Alaska, where it's Marmot Day.)

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One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church

What a concept!


In the same talk, B16 warned:
In a social milieu that encourages the expression of a variety of opinions on every question that arises, it is important to recognize dissent for what it is, and not to mistake it for a mature contribution to a balanced and wide-ranging debate.

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We Can See The Future

2010: "Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Danny Williams is set to undergo heart surgery this week in the United States."

2050: "Chairman of New England Democratic Republic is set to undergo heart surgery this week in the Texas Confederation of States."

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Monday, February 01, 2010

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

"What do people think of me, really?"

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Real Headlines You May Have Missed

Savage Beagles Terrorize East End

Britain on Alert for Deadly New Knife With Exploding Tip that Freezes Victims' Organs

Leader Slaughters Goats to Ward Off Evil

Fire in Houston Blamed on Inflatable Gorilla

Pork Better for Sex than Viagra

Priest Checks Fingerprints for Mass Attendance

South Africa President Jacob Zuma 'is a sex addict'

Stanford's Effort to Curb Alcohol Abuse Grows

Man Stopped While Trying to Break Into Oregon Jail

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G&S Loves the Internet

What do the following cities have in common: Sydney, Johannesburg, Madras, New Dehli, Dubai, Bucharest, Solothurn (Switzerland), Groningen (The Netherlands), and London?

The answer, my little droogies, is that Glib & Superficial has been visited by viewers from those places in the last 24 hours.

We've also been hit from Spokane, Arlington, DC and Georgetown, but you guys are boring.

What's that you say? You didn't know I could do that? There's a very great deal you don't know about the Interwebs, I guess. Hey, you: the guy with the Mac OS in Philadelphia -- we know where you live.

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Love

Yesterday was the fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time in the Catholic Liturgical year for the Ordinary Form of the Mass. (In the Extraordinary Form, it was Septuagesima Sunday, that is, (approximately) 70 days until Easter, but I digress.) The Collect for the Ordinary Form was:

Concede nobis, Domine Deus noster,
ut te tota mente veneremur,
et omnes homines rationabili diligamus affectu.


Father John Zuhlsdorf slavishly translates this as:

Grant us, O Lord our God,
that we may venerate you with our whole mind,
and may love all men with rational good-will.

Father Z uses this prayer as his launching pad for a discussion of "love." His entire essay falls into the category of "things I wish I'd written," but the following excerpt struck me as particularly moving:
We are commanded by God the Father and God Incarnate Jesus Christ to love both God and our fellow man and God the indwelling Holy Spirit makes this possible. But the word and therefore concept of “love” is understood in many ways and today, especially, it is misunderstood. “Love” frequently refers to people or stuff we like or enjoy using. Bob can “love” his new SUV. Besty “loves” her new kitten. We all certainly “love” baseball and spaghetti. But “love” can refer to the emotional and affections people have when they are “in love” or, as I sometimes call it, “in luv”. Luv is usually an ooey-gooey feeling, a romantic “love” sometimes growing out of lust. This gooey romantic “love” now dominates Western culture, alas. The result is that when “feelings” change or the object of “luv” is no longer enjoyable or useable, someone gets dumped, often for a newer, richer, or prettier model.

There some other flavors of “love” you can come up with, I’m sure. But Christians, indeed every image of God in all times everywhere, are called to a higher love, the love in today’s prayer, which is charity: the grace-completed virtue enabling us to love God for His own sake and love all who are made in His image. This is more than benevolence or tolerance or desire or enjoyment of use. True love is not merely a response to an appetite, as when we might see a beautiful member of the opposite sex, a well-turned double-play, or a plate of spaghetti all’amatriciana. True love, charity, isn’t the sloppy gazing of passion drunk sweethearts or the rubbish we see on TV and in movies (luv). Charity is the grace filled adhesion of our will to an object (really a person) which has been grasped by our intellect to be good. The love invoked in our prayer is an act of will based on reason. It is a choice – not a feeling. Charity delights in and longs for the good of the other more than one’s own. The theological virtue charity involves grace. It enables sacrifices, any kind of sacrifice for the authentic good of another discerned with reason (not a false good and not “use” of the other). We can choose even to love an enemy. This love resembles the sacrificial love of Christ on His Cross who offered Himself up for the good of His spouse, the Church. Rationabilis affectus reflects what it is to be truly human, made in God’s image and likeness, with faculties of willing and knowing and, therefore, loving.
Just so. Read the whole thing.

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New Orleans is Special

Down in the Big Easy, the Coroner is popularly elected. While it's early in this election year, the race has already produced the odds-on favorite to win Best Political Ad of the Year:

Some background HERE.

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